The nervousness for chemo on Friday is setting in. Just as it does, I seem to hear from just the right people who say just the right things. The emails, texts, calls, cards, they all seem to come right as I need it. I have been very emotional lately so getting sweet messages makes me super happy! I know part of my emotional state is due to sweet little Fletcher and his fight! I am so so so so so thankful that it is me going through having cancer and chemo and not one of my babies. So while I am nervous to see what my labs say, I am thankful this is happening to me. Part of the nervousness is I do not think the tumor has shrunk as much as it did in the beginning, this go around. Makes me think that the tumor wasn't really 8 centimeters and really looked bigger than it was due to me nursing and all the milk in there. That makes me really nervous that maybe the treatment isn't working as well as we thought it was. I keep pushing the thoughts to the back in my head, but they still creep up to the front from time to time. I am nervous on how I will react this time to the treatment. Will I be sick day 4 and 5 or 7-11 like last time or will it be totally different? From my support groups, #3 usually is not too bad, most people said #2, 4, 6 are the worst. Not sure why that is. I am going to ask for lots of fluids again this time to see if that helps!
I am trying to enjoy feeling good right now. All laundry is getting done, house cleaned, lots of playing with the boys, all leading up to the next few weeks. Oh I love waking up to those sweet boys. Those smiles and giggles!
I am so thankful that another friend has reached out to me to give me her extra breast milk! Between sweet friends and my sister miraculously being able to lactate again, my sweet baby boy is getting good milk along with the best formula i could find. He is latching on to my sister more and more every day which is helping her supply get greater daily! That sweet, stubborn, amazing sister of mine. I am not sure what I would do without her! She takes care of me, my kids, is my wet nurse, my cheerleader, best friend! Goodness, I am not sure what I have done to deserve her but I am sure glad I have her!
I really cannot complain! Thank you for all of your support and love! I know I keep saying it but it is really true, i couldn't get through this without you guys!
Love
Jamie
#fightinglikeagirl #wegotthis
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