I have been very horrible at blogging lately. guess it is a good thing I do not have thousands.. or even hundreds of followers. In fact I am not even sure why some of you read this. But I am doing amazing on this happiness journey. Here are some things I have noticed:
I am starting to see where I have more and more control over me.
This is amazing! I will start to react and, my upper brain kicks in to let me know that i do not have to react that way. I still fail some days and the lowers brain pushes right through that upper brain like a Mack truck. BUTTTTTT I am noticing more quickly and am able to stop the lower brain and let the upper brain do its work. I have noticed a change in the oldest too.
I am starting to set my self up in a positive light for any encounters that I think will be uncomfortable or negative or just ehhhh. If I know a certain person usually makes me feel like a dark cloud has surrounded me, then I have to totally talk myself up. 'You are happy, you are golden, you are not going to let others moods effect yours... you got this.. smile, laugh, be yourself, be a light.. shine that light, you got this" Say whatever you need to in order to keep you.. good.....
I am giving the kids a chance to talk before I assume. I hear kids screaming, baby is hurt. I do not assume the oldest hurt him, its probably what happened, but let's talk and find out. 'Hey Oldest, what is happening in here.. why is baby crying... did you see what happened?' Oldest: "oh Mama, i was trying to help him, and I picked him up and he didn't like that"
And that is what happened, however, if I screamed from another room or didn't approach it as a fact finding mission and started accusing, I would have gotten resistance, maybe a 2nd meltdown, he would have been defensive. .it would have ended badly. Even if he was at fault, he now will freely admit "Oh I bite brother because he wouldn't let me play with that toy" Oh well what could you have done instead... "oh I could have used my words, I am sorry" Either way, we are talking calmly, which makes for a very happy household. I mean I do not like being accused of stuff even if i am at fault, so i totally get it. There will be enough people yelling at them in their life. I want them to learn right from wrong, and talk through what we could have done better. I think those are huge life lessons that get missed when we yell, spank, or "punish" instead of talking, finding out the root of the issue and if we need to set up some discipline rules. Discipline means to teach.. which i love!
I have a choice. That is right, I have a choice. I can choose to be annoyed, irritated, mad, sad or HAPPY. I am never going to love someone 100%, but if I focus on their positives and not the negatives, then I am much happier and the negatives do not seem so big. See, you always have the choice to be the bigger person and even if you want to strangle someone you can easily smile and be courteous if you have to interact. You do not have to drive through a construction area, if you know that if you get stopped you are going to get mad or irritated, take a different path or if it surprises you , take a deep breath and focus on these people are doing their job, not personally trying to get you. It truly is your choice. Even with my kids, I do not have to talk on their meltdown, or get mad at them if they do something wrong or make a mistake. I can take a deep breath and let them know "I am really upset right now, I just need some time to cool off, please let me walk away or please just come hug me, until i calm down" whatever I need, I can communicate it. This has also helped to a happier household. The kids even the baby are starting to communicate their needs. It has been amazing to see. I always have a choice, you always have a choice! That helps me a lot!
What are some things that help you stay happy?
~Jamie
