Day 147 - 2012 Exhasuted

I have been one exhausted girl lately.  Seems life is throwing some curve balls and I am just a batting away.   Some of fun, some not so much.  But all are teaching me valuable lessons.  Life is all about lessons.  Though at the moment I feel like a crazy woman.  I am completely exhausted and would love sleep my life away. Okay not away but for most of the day.  I cannot do that, so I struggle through, make decisions, work hard and try to laugh a lot. Thankful for B. He is sticking beside me though i feel crazy!   Exhausted or not the show must go on!  Have a fun night y'all!  I am going to bed!

Day 146 - 2012 Ideal Life

Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.

Mark Twain

That quote is true in so many ways.

Have a great day!

Day 145- 2012 Tropical Storm Debby

Debby is pelting Florida. We are a hot soggy mess. Houses and streets flooded. Bridges collapsing, streets crumbling, sinkholes forming. Crazy stuff.
 White Springs FL Panacea Fl
 This boat has now sunk from soo much rain  
used to be a dock off of Hwy 98  
What is left of a bridge in Suwanee county 
Hwy 67 in Franklin County
 hwy 90

 This storm is a nice reminder that sometimes mother nature is a b@tch! She just will not let up. We are foretasted for at least 5 more days of this wet wet weather! Let's hope something gives before the state of Florida sinks into the ocean! Hope you guys have a very dry day!

Day 144 - 2012 Dreams

Lately B and I have been dreaming about a lot of things,  dream vacations, dream houses, dream jobs, basically anything you could dream about  It has been nice. It is funny how much we have in common and sometimes how surprised he gets by me liking some of the same things as he does.  For example Eureka.. He never thought I would like that show, yet I do.  I know it is geeky, but it is funny and has mystery to it and well frankly keeps me entertained.

Our dream vacations are the same and we both agree we need to start saving so we can actually go on at least one of them. That or win the lotto, but that requires us to play and we both would rather put that money in savings.

It is nice to dream.. though I am much more of a dreamer than he is.  He is definitely the realist in our relationship.  Always has been.  Though he is coming around to my side.. bwhahahaha :D

Dreaming is good. It is healthy and frankly I love to dream!

Cheers to many more happy dreams!

Day 143- 2012 Waiting tables

Somedays I miss waiting tables. I miss the compradore between the servers and cooks. Instant cash. Fast pace. After work parties. Yummy food. Industry discounts. I really did love being in the service industry. Life was simpler. Money was good. And the biggest stress was getting the order right and out to the table in a timely fashion. Waiting tables rocked! One of the best jobs ever!

Everyone should work in the service industry. It helps you deal with difficult personalities. It teaches you respect. And how to work hard towards your end goal of a good tip. And teaches you to deal with disappointments when that good tip doesn't happen even though you deserved it!

Face life with the zest you would if you worked in the service industry. You might be pleasantly surprised by the results!

Have a fabulous day!

Day 142 - 2012 Treat others nicely!

Flatter me, and I may not believe you. Criticize me, and I may not like you. Ignore me, and I may not forgive you. Encourage me, and I will not forget you. Love me and I may be forced to love you.

William Arthur Ward

I love that quote!  Treat others the way you want to be treated.  If you want to be loved, love others, if you want to be treated like crap, then treat others like crap.  Whatever you want, be that.  People, from adults to kids, mimic how they are treated.  If someone smiles at you, you cannot help but smile back. If someone is frowning, you tend to frown.  It is hard to always keep a smile on your face, but it feel so good when you are able too.   I try every day to follow this advice.  Some days I fail but some days, some days I win.  Those days are the best day!

Have a fabulous drama free day!

Day 141 - 2012 Great Group of Core Friends

I have many groups of friends.  All have their use and need in my life.  But I love my core group of friends.  They are an amazing group of women (and some men too) but the women make me happy.  They are there for me, anytime I need them. We bounce ideas,  life's up and downs and more off of each other.  They lift me up with I am down, they make me laugh every time I talk to them.  They love me for me, the whole hot mess that I am.   They love me in spite of me.  They are so excited at any thing good that happens in my life and share the bad times with me.  I am such a lucky girl to have such amazing women in my life!  Not sure if I could get through life without them!

Love you ladies!

Day 140 - 2012 Healthy girl

I went to the doctor today for my yearly check up and I am a healthy girl!.  She was super proud of me.  Not only was my weight in a healthy spot (duh) but all of my levels were good.  My cholesterol PERFECT, Vitamin D PERFECT, thyroid PERFECT, not anemic (shocked on that one) she said I could not have had a more healthy check up.  To keep up my hard work!  YAY ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Want to learn more about living a healthy lifestyle?  Holler at me or follow my fitness blog
http://jamielasterfitness.blogspot.com/

It is all about fitness and living a healthy lifestyle.

If I can go from a size 14/16 to a 4/6 and stay in that size for now over 6 months,  then anyone can!  Just takes dedication and determination!

Have a great day!

Day 139-2012. Support

I has forgotten what it feels like to have someone to support you. Yesterday was not a good day and B could have just ignored my bad mood and gone about his night. But instead he called and made me talk with him. He bounced ideas off of me. He let me know he was there for me. He helped me pull myself out of my mood. I cried and laughed. It made me miss him more and feel very loved. Some times it's just a small gesture that can mean the world to someone. Could be a phone call, a note or a text. Doesn't take much to make someone you care about feel loved. But it does take you doing the action.

I'm grateful for those who support me even during my darkest hours. I am thankful for B who loves me in spite of me and who can turn any bad situation into a good one. I love his positivity and how much he cares about others and me!

Be that friend or loved one that others can count on for support. Even if they act like they do not need you, they do. Sometimes it's just knowing someone is willing to be there that makes all the difference!!

Have a fabulous day!

Day 138-2012. Contemplating

Today has been a rough day, lots of contemplating.  That is all

Sorry I wasted your time :(

Day 137-2012. Leaving

Bitter sweet day... I wait so long between seeing family and the boyfriend that I am so excited to be there with them, then our time together is so short. I leave and I am sad. I hate leaving them. Home doesn't feel like home anymore. It was so nice to wake up in B's arms. Good conversations, fun breakfast. Then play time with the nieces. I just cannot get enough of them. Then I have to leave them and it makes me sad. At least I only cried when B left me and then again when I got home and he told me he missed me. I know things are moving fast. But it feels right. I have wasted enough of both of our lives by running away from him. I just want to run to him.

Funny Grumpy texted this weekend asking how I was. I responded 'fabulous'. And interestingly enough did not get a response. Guess he was hoping I was miserable. Far from it.

Last night was such a simple night yet it was perfect. We were on the exact same page and it felt amazing. I fall further and further for him everyday and love it!!!! Could not be more thrilled....

So today was another bittersweet fat. Lots of love and laughing with a few sad tears! Cannot for the day when I do not have to leave any of them!!!

Day 136 -2012. Best boyfriend

I have the best boyfriend... Not only did he come over and hang out with my mom and I last night and helped us get ready for the niece's party but he came back for the party, had fun watching all of our personalities and just giggled when he saw why my nieces act the way they do (they learned from the adults in the family.). He enjoyed playing with the girls and is already plotting getting A back when she least expects it. He looks to our future and has taken me on a fun date where the surprises keep happening. I do love him so. And love seeing how much he loves me and my boisterous family. Poor guy. He comes from a quiet family. I feel like we are in 'my big fat Greek wedding'. It's nice he enjoys us and me despite the craziness that goes on. I could go on and on. But in summary best boyfriend ever!!'

Day 135-2012 going home

Whoo hoo hooooooo. I get to head home for the weekend. I get to see those cutie patootie nieces. My parents and granny and B. cannot wait for hugs and kisses from all!!! Cannot wait for A's birthday party or my date with B. He has something up his sleeve and will not divulge the info. Well some parts. Super excited for a fun love filled weekend!

Hope everyone else's is just as awesome!

Day 134-2012 full of crap

** warning not for the easily grossed out ***

I am stopped up! I am never stopped up. I go like clockwork every day. So to say I'm a little irritated that 3 days have past. Many fiber one bars. Fiber pills, accupuncture, vinegar and laxatives still have not worked is an understatement. I have had conversations with B that should not be happening at this stage in our relationship. All surrounding my bowls. Sexy huh? FML. Wish me luck!!!!

Day 133 - 2012 Teenage girl

I am like a teenage girl.  I cannot stop grinning. I am constantly checking the phone to see if I have a message or missed call. I am absolutely pathetic. But in a good way.  B  keeps surprising me by doing things totally out of character for him but in a good way. he is so excited to see me this weekend and I am over the moon as well.  He has an entire date planned, of course I am not privy to the info.  I was told, "Just wear those jeans I love and pack an over night bag"  Yes sir.. I can do that :)  He loves surprising me and keeping me on my toes.  I have to admit, he is handling me perfectly.  I am definitely not getting bored and I love the bantering we have. Today he had me at " Do you know about financial peace university.. I want to take the course" why yes yes I do and I am oh so turned on by the fact you want to take this, I will even bring you Dave Ramsey's book. WOW  I have waited awhile for a guy who A. has a steady job, B. is worried about the future, C. wants to talk about this stuff, D. loves me good bad and ugly, I could keep going on and on.

It is crazy to think I let him go all those years ago, for him to come back to me at a time when we both are ready for each other. I hate all the things we had to go through to get to this point, but I also know we would not be here, in this situation, if we had not gone through those things. So I am enjoying this never ending smile on my face and the attention and love I feel from him at the moment.  I hope this feeling never dies, and knowing him, it will not. He still gets me like he did 10 years ago. So yes I am acting like a silly teenage girl and am not afraid to admit it!  So there :p  (yes I did stick my tongue out)

Day 132 - 2012 Starting over

The thought of starting over in a different city, even if that city is one that I used to live, is terrifying. So many unknowns, what ifs.  Can I do it again?  My entire view of what I thought my life would be like will be different.  My friends that I have made, that are like family, will fade away.  When I left Miami, I left a few amazing friends.  If I leave Jax, I will be leaving a TON of amazing friends. Some that I have yearly birthday rituals with, weekly rituals with. Those that I can count on no matter what I need.   Yes I have some really good friends that are excited for me to be coming back to tally.  Still the thought terrifies me. The starting new friendships, learning the city I once knew, but that has changed so much. Finding and starting a new job. Transferring into the Tally Junior League, and starting new relationships there.  All are frightening prospects.   Even the prospect that B is it for me, that terrifies and excities me all at once.  I know he is scared I will decide it is all not worth it, that it is too much for me. Part of me is scared of the same thing. All of this would be so much easier if I did not have the house. I love my life as it is, the only thing missing is my family and B being closer.  Can I keep my life if I move back? Will I keep going as the person I am or revert back to a person I do not want to be?  B says I will keep going, that I am strong.  Am I?   If I am how strong am I?  Only time will tell.  I have started over many times, so I know I am capable. I have strong support system and am involved with a wonderul organzation that is there to aid me in moving to a new city and becoming involved with those who are like minded.  I am thankful for that.  Plus I will have my family and my love. Really what more could a girl need or want?

Day 131-2012 good lazy day

Good lazy day. Not feeling so hot so I allowed myself to be lazy and watch movies. Chatted all day with B which was nice. Good good lazy day!!!!!

Day 130, 2012 Quotes

I love quotes, they make me smile, they make me laugh, they make me cry they make me think.   A quote can turn your smile upside down or make you think about things in a different way. My favorite one today is:



Hope you have a fabulous day!

Day 129-2012 Trust

Trust is something I want to have in everyone. Sometimes people make it really really difficult.  I try to look past minor mistakes or things they do because they just do not think the same way as me.  I find it someone hurts my animals, that is when I care the most.  I can get past hurting me, but my babies, makes it hard for me to think you will not do it again.   I have been known to be too trusting.  I trust that people are going to change, I trust that people are truthful.  The older I get the more I learn, that is not the case.  People are selfish, they lie, they are out for themselves. I understand to a degree, but when you hurt someone else because of your selfishness, than things have gone too far.  Why should I trust you again?

In past relationships I have been hurt by trusting that person who hurt me again. I am sure they believed their lies at that moment in time, but instead communicating when things changed, they lie, and are deceitful and in return hurtful.  I am thankful that I can trust B.  I always have been able too.  He has never lied to me or hurt me. He has always been honest and forthcoming.  I have no reason not to trust him.  Such a nice refreshing change from the past.  I feel like I am in a grown up relationship (about time).

I will continue to work on my trust issues.  I may forgive, but it is hard to forget. Trust is given by me freely, until hurt, then it has to be earned back.  Sometimes it takes longer depending on the severity of the hurt. But I will keep trying, as a life without trust is not a very fun one!

Have a fabulous day!

Day 128- 2012 Pick on me day

Today has been a funny day.  Everyone seems to be picking on me, but that is okay I can take it. I can surely dish it out too.  I did learn I will never eat another fiber one bar again in my life.  WOW I felt like I was dying from food poisoning.  Not fun at all. But good for some laughs from quite a few people.  I am totally okay with it.  I have been told, that I cannot be fixed.  That I am never boring.  Duh, I knew that :)

People are now realizing I was not over exaggerating when I said certain people were insane and incompetent.  What I learned from that was that people are talking about me behind my back and I love that they had to realize they were wrong :) BWHAHAHAHA that is what you get for thinking I just am making crap up. Why would I be so calm when I leave the office but a crazy bitch in the office?  Well unless I was bi-polar which was ruled out years ago.

Sometimes my ADHD makes it hard to deal with the crazy people and since I have an empathetic personality, I feed off of their craziness, which in turn makes me look crazy at times. But I still stand by that I am not, and that I am only expressing what I am being fed.  Wow that was a lot to say.  I have had to listen to people be non committal, others being too committal. Complaining about others, laughing at and with others, and some being nice to others (rarity lately).

Today has been a funny funny day.  I have enjoyed being picked on and doing some picking myself.  Cannot wait to get home and finish my half done yard (no judging, I am not a yard kind of girl)  and super excited I get to see B and my family in 9 days WHOO HOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Can you tell I am excited???  Hope your day has been as exciting, as mine!

Day 127 - 2012 Seeing through me

So funny, I have waited a lifetime for someone to know me better than me, and B is that person.  Crazy, how he gets me in a way, no one ever has before.  Crazy how I get him too. I know when he is grinning, but the sound of his voice, or the phrases he uses in a text.  He teases me endlessly, which is what I need for him to keep my attention.  I blame it on my dad, he always teases me and picks on me, and so does B.  He says they do it out of love.  And I love it!  I have begun my search for jobs in Tally... though I do not expect anything to happen right away, (at least I hope it does not)  Still have lots to accomplish here in Jax.  I am glad I moved away. I am glad I found who I was, by the trials and tribulations I have faced here. It has made me the person that B wants, and is proud of.  I asked him the other day, what was his favorite trait of mine and his answer " all of you, good and bad, I love them all".  brought tears to my eyes (tears of joy).  He knows me better than anyone, and still loves me.  He appreciates me when I am pouty but never gives in (a little irritating).  He loves it when I am all lovey and cuddly, even if he is not in the mood.  He loves giving me a hard time, as it keeps my interest. And he thinks I am the hottest, sexist girl alive.  What more could I want?

Day 126-2012. I'm a tired girl

Wow 10 days away from home. Had so much fun but am exhausted. Hate coming home to a dirty house. Though C did try to clean up. Hard when you have one house guest who doesn't clean and one who tries to clean up after animals and the other person. The boys missed me. The girl is mad at me. I miss B and really wished I came home to him. 11 days and I get to see him. Definitely learning to have patience. Plus the communication is getting stronger since we are forced to talk. It's nice. I love how lovey chance is. He and george are making sure I know how much they missed me. Roscoe seems like he filled out more.... And even B is making sure I know he misses me. Just wish he was here for hugs and kisses.

Had such an amazing time in Annapolis. A beautiful city with so much old charm. Reminds me of savannah with the cobble stone streets and old row houses. I do love those old row houses. It's funny I can see myself living there. No yard to take care of, walking everywhere. Crazy to some people but a dream to me. I love my house but I am not a yard girl. No clue how I am going to sell this house. The thought makes me withdrawal from reality.

Life is exhausting. This week was exhausting but wow at the fun times, new friends and lots of amazing memories that were made! Plus a 20 year old hit on me and told me there was no way i was 35, that i was way too hot to be 35, so that made my day. Silly young boys..... So I am a tired girl with loads of new memories furbabies and a boy who love me. So tired but good!!!!!

Day 125-2012 vacation

I have been MIA due to my very fun wedding festivities vacation. No not my own but my bestie K. It has been a roller coaster of a ride. We have laughed and cried. We have seen stress and calm times. We have been not excited and excited!!!! Yes finally excited. We will have her married in a little over 24 hours!!!!! Crazy.

Her family and friends have been amazing to me. I feel like I am home even though I miss my babies and B. terribly. B has been so sweet and thoughtful. He is loving me being so sweet, emotional and non selfish. I just am so sure he's the one I have been waiting for. Our life goals are the same. Our compromises meet somewhat in the middle. I never want to go through life without him again . It's not everyday someone tells you what you are thinking as you think it or comes up with the exact dream Job a as your dream job. One that you could do together. He challenges me, teases me and loves me for me. Good bad and ugly. What more could a girl ask for? I am loving life more than I thought I could. Yes. Lots of things will change and that's scary. But I can get through anything as long as he's by my side. Life's to short not to be married to your best friend and he is my best friend. He knows me better than anyone and still loves me! Same with K. P loves her so much and you can see that when he looks at her. I am blessed to be apart of their happy happy week and day!!!! I am a lucky girl to have such amazing friends, family and boyfriend!!!!!