High Maintenance Friends

High Maintenance Friends, you know the ones. Always upset when you do not call them regularly. When you do call, they are short, snappy, try to make you feel bad for not calling them.
They always want  to help which is so sweet but if you do not need help they get offended. Everything is super urgent with them. They need something and need it NOW. They could easily do something themselves, like cook a recipe, pick up something from the store, but ask you to help them instead, even if they have way more time than you do.
They tend to hold on to the past and are happy to throw things up in your face, things you thought were done and have passed. They talk, and talk and talk.  They tell you the same stories over and over. They gossip about everything they hear, what people do and anyone that is negative, yet they do the same. They feel important when they know all of the information, even if it seems very insignificant to most others. They want to be your venting board, because they want to know the gossip.   Even if you do share, they ask tons of questions that you may not know the answer too and then get very frustrated when you do not know. They will even tell people you get defensive when you really just do not know the answer. They are very very obsessed with details that quite frankly do not mean much to others.
They are very very high strung, always on the go, always need a project, and are very rarely satisfied. They are very vocal about their dissatisfaction and are quick to tell you how they would fix it.
They care too much about what others think, which leads to a very dissatisfied life.  Due to this they seek out the approval, and attention of others to try to fill that void, which leads back to dissatisfaction.
They do not like others taking control, they like to be in control.


They mean well, they really do. But goodness they are exhausting. If your tone changes, they think something is wrong, if you do not text or call back asap they think something is wrong. everything has to have a hidden meaning to them, even when there isn't one. They project how they feel on how you should be feeling or what they think you are feeling when they are completely wrong. If you try to tell them that, they think something else is wrong. EXHAUSTING.

Don't get me wrong, they are some of the most kindest, hardest working, most giving people you will ever come across. They do not mean to annoy the crap out of their friends. They really just want to know everything and share everything, help out, and be a huge part of your life.

It is  best if you give them tasks to do, ask for help when you can. If you can remember and have time to call regularly even if it is to say "was thinking of you when i saw this" it goes a long way. keep visits/calls to a min time to keep you from feeling drained.  If you can, drop off a gift, food etc randomly so they feel loved.   Thank them when you can, they love that!  If you have the time, and the bandwidth, they really are great people to be friends with.

Unfortunately,  for me, I have cut out a lot of really good people from my life that are high maintenance and I just do not have time to keep up with their daily drama, their neediness, and their constant drain on me. Makes me sad. Very sad when i think about it.  But I have to take care of me, and I started realizing that dealing with this type of personality drags me down into a dark place. I can only do so much and the constant negative neediness, drains the positive out of me. I need that positive outlook to be a good wife and mother, so they had to go. What is even sadder, is they do not realize when you are gone. They move on to someone else who needs them at that time and who will listen, be there, and let them talk on and on. Once they drain that person the move on to the next and so on.

I like low maintenance. I like that if i don't talk to my best friend in months, that we still pick up like nothing has changed. We do not need to know the daily ins and outs of our lives but are good with being there for the big things. We stay positive for each other. We lift each other up. We do not get mad if we miss a phone call or don't hear back after a "ill call you later"  it is okay. life goes on, life is busy, especially if you have small kids.  For me, i do not like to gossip, i do not need to know what is happening with others. I have enough to handle with me. If someone needs to call me to talk about themselves I am all ears but please do not call to tell me about susie Q and how she is cheating on her husband.  That is her business not mine, not yours, hers.  I like to live my life worrying about me, my son, loving others, treating others how i want to be treated, volunteering, being positive, being happy, working out and just living life to the fullest without worries of pleasing others, as i will never be able to please everyone.

Whether you are low or high maintenance, remember everyone has a full plate, be kind, be loving and be patient!

Tolerance

Lately I have really had to come to grips that society has low tolerance for those who are different than themselves. It shocks me that people are still so close minded to those who are different then themselves. Especially when the people who seem to be the most close minded and judgmental are those are claim to be doing so, due to what a book tells them. A book that was written by man, and which has changed over time. A book that supposedly the old part was over written by the new part. Though those same people say well that one part still applies. Ahh I see, so as a person you can choose which parts you believe in. So why not believe in letting others live THEIR life the way THEY want to live it, if it does not bother you. It is not like them being gay is really bothering you, so why do you care so much?  I have been quiet for so long, as your belief is yours. Lately I am just so disgusted with people not being tolerant of others. I do not bother you about your beliefs, so why do you want to bother me? Why is my best friends sexual preference worthy of you poking your nose in?  Why not let GOD judge, and you just be nice and tolerant? Why does gay marriage effect you?

Same goes with Racism, why can we all just not get along? Why do people have to judge on the color of someones skin or bring up things that happened GENERATIONS AGO. I did not enslave anyone and quite frankly I do not believe anyone in my family did. Most people needed to be WEALTHY to own slaves, and if you did some reading, most of the north had slaves WAYYY past the Confederate war, so why not take down the American flag too?    I get that the Confederate flag represents so not so nice things. I understand some feel it is their heritage. However you cannot erase the past, if you do, the past WILL repeat itself. Do I think it needs to be removed from everything in history or that we need to dig up dead people? No, you people who think that are nuts.. and need a life!

Now if you are one of the sheep who only listens to the media and thinks what they want you to think, get out there open a flipping history book or research it on your own, learn and make YOUR OWN opinions. This doing what the flock does is STUPID and makes you STUPID.  The media gets off on getting you stirred up, and causing friction, it makes them MONEY. So stop.. just stop!

Be kind, be nice, mind your own business, do research before you speak, know that EVERYONE has walked a path that is unknown to you, you cannot generalize, and you shouldn't. You should be kind, turn the other cheek, and love.. love others for themselves. Love them in spite of themselves. Love and kindness would make this world a better place.. try practicing it, instead of hate!

Off soap box now!

Post 5 -2015 city life

Things I love about city life:

1. Walking 

2. People hanging out on porches/roofs/backyards 

3. Those in #2's voice and laughter!  It's like my own personal real life soap opera! 

4. Lots to do and in walking Distance!

5. The best restaurants ever!  I'm drooling thinking of the farm to table places And Gorgonzola chips!

6. Fun night life that I have sadly outgrown 

7. Architecture 

8. Museums 

9. Parks

10. Movie theater in walking distance 

11. Pharmacy in walking distance 

12. Grocery store in walking distance 

13. Great neighbors 

14. Food delivery

15. Grocery delivery 

16. Runs along the river

17. Yummy local coffee shops in walking distance 

18. Local breweries in biking/walking distance 

19. No bugs
20. Friends dropping by on their way home

There are so many more but those are the top 20 things that I love and miss about city life!

Post 4-2015 Moving

We are moving soon. Not just moving houses but moving cities. It is not the first time I have moved cities.  It will be my 3rd time.  When I got ready to move away from my hometown the first time, I was excited, nervous, but soooo excited. The 2nd time I moved cities, I was excited, a little  nervous, sad to leave my friends, but it felt right. This time around, I am sad, very sad. I should  be happy and excited, but I am sad. I am sad to leave the life I have built over the past 12 years. I am sad to leave my friends who are like family, the doctors who I love, walking everywhere, having everything at my finger tips. I am sad. I know I will be gaining a kick ass babysitter, and it will get my child out of daycare and into an environment where he is nurtured and learning a ton. It will be nice to be able to go to dinner or go get pedicures with my Mama. But I am scared. I am scared for my marriage. What if we cannot handle the outside stressors that we are shielded from at the current moment. I am sad that I have to drive 40 mins one way just to see a doctor. I am sad that the nearest Publix is 30 mins away from me. I am sad we will have to drive to the park, I am sad not to have dreamette close to me.  I am fearful of having to have the "I don't believe what you believe and that is okay, I am okay with it, so please you be okay with it too.  I am a good person, I do great things for others, I just do not want to go to church and pretend I believe, as i think that is hypocritical, and I do not like to lie, so please just leave it be." conversation with my in laws and everyone else trying to get my to go to church. I am sad that all of the things we love about where we are at the moment are going to be gone, so far gone. I am sad to leave my besties, Nicole, Sandy, Papi. They make me smile, especially Papi, he always knows how to make me laugh!   I keep trying to keep the positives at the front of my mind, while being prepared for the negatives. Positive, we won't be having our stuff stolen on a regular basis, we will be safer, we will have more land, we can have a play-set, I get to decorate a new house. I get to be close to my sister, like walking distance. I get to explore a city I have not lived in for 15 years like I am brand new to it. I really hope this brings my husband and i closer together, not further apart. I get to get back to knowing my besties from high-school and their kids. I will be excited to be close to Ash, Cole and Bebo and of course Dee!  My life is about to get really really different. Different is okay right?  Change is good right?  I am usually so go with the flow, but that is because i love my house, I love my home I have created. I will be having to create a whole new house a home. I get to make new memories, new friends, new traditions.

Moving  

Post 3 - 2015 Sex Challenge

My husband and I are taking a sex challenge. That is right, a sex challenge! You attempt to have sex 30 days out of 35 (gotta have a few days "off" in case you need them, ie: baby is sick, I fell asleep before he gets home etc.)

So we ended it with 19 days out of the 35.  We lost some time due to him working nights for over a week and therefore not being home or awake at the same time. We started off strong. 8 times in 10 days. The one thing we both found was we were looking forward to our time together. It was a time we had set aside for each other. We were making us a priority. Plus some nights were really steamy as we had to think outside the box to not do our normal go to positions to keep it spicy. After it was over, he said he missed knowing it was happening, and us having to "tap out" if we were not feeling it. It definitely brought us closer together and quite frankly made him a very happy man!

I think everyone should try it. I think we may try again and see if we cannot beat our score from this round!

Post 2 - 2015 Police State

I have been watching Continuum, (don't judge). The show begins with what seems to be clear cut, bad people and good people. As the seasons go on, you start to see that the "bad people" are just people tired of the corporate companies pulling the strings of the police and other high in authority figures. There means may be wrong (ie killing thousands of innocents) but their methodology makes sense.   When the people lose their voice, and greed takes over, nothing good can come from it. This show really has me thinking about today's time and how every move we make, effects the future.

Big Companies should not have authority over government officials/department.  People need to respect authority but not corrupt authority. Who polices the police?  For the most part, many really are good people who want to help keep others safe. They have been forced into a role where they fear for their own safety and are on edge. If we as people, stop making the police the enemy, then our children wouldn't fear them and would respect them.  Respect begins at home, and here in America it is sorely lacking.

Step up parents. Teach your kids respect for others and themselves. It begins at home. If we do not do it at home then we will end up with a police state,which will not be fun for anyone.

Okay off my soapbox

Post 1 -2015 Peace and Love man.. peace and love

Lately there have been a rash of riots all over america. I understand why people are frustrated. Some people feel that the African American population gets a raw deal with cops.   I understand that it may happen, but i also know if you look at facts, that more white people are killed by cops every year. WHITE, not any other race.   That makes me wonder,  why is it that the white people are not more outraged?  Is it because they do their research? Is it because they know that rioting, looting  and stopping traffic screaming things like "hands up don't shoot" (when the kid had his hands down) changes nothing and only makes you look ignorant?

Over the span of more than a decade, 2,151 whites died by being shot by police compared to 1,130 blacks. (http://www.fbi.gov/news/pressrel/press-releases/fbi-releases-2013-statistics-on-law-enforcement-officers-killed-and-assaulted)

But again, no riots, no looting, no holding up traffic of innocent people who just want to get to work.

If you are going ot hold up traffic, do so at the police station. Keep the officers from going to work.

I think all of the LEO's should strike for a day or week. Then we can see who the real villans are.  Is it the people trying to protect and serve, in the abyss of ignorant, non-law abiding citizens? or is it the non-law abiding citizens, who have no respect for authority, and rob, and flee from LEO's, and don't stop, and attack them?

My husband is former LEO. I am thankful every day he is not in that field. I know he misses it. But goodness, I would worry every time he stepped out the door. It used to be people were respectful of police, so they in return were respectful of you.  Now they are on guard ALL the time. They cannot even go on calls without someone ambushing them, with the intent to kill them just because they are law enforcement.  How have we gotten to this point of society?  If you think you can do a better job, then apply to be a LEO.. Make a difference the right way. Stop being ignorant!

No one wants a police state but no one wants a free for all. We have to respect each other. love each other and just try to be peaceful!  No good can come from violence.

Peace and Love.. peace and love!