Post 90 - 2013 Husband is home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YIPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  My hubby is home after working out of town all week. Now while I did miss him terribly, I did not miss having to share the bed at night.   While he is in trouble for working through the night and driving home on no sleep, I am thankful he is home safe and I get to see him in a few hours! WHOO HOO HOO!!!

Post 89 - 2013 Love

Lately I have been feeling this overwhelming love for my husband. I am not sure if it is because of the ever growing fetus or if this just happens in marriage.  Either way it is very overwhelming at times. I feel like my heart is just going to explode.  Even when I am picking up after him, I still feel that love for him and am thankful I have him to pick up after.   This week he has to work out of town. Usually I am the one who like like "go!!!"  When he called to tell me, he was very upset with having to leave me. I told him I and the baby would be fine it was just a week.   By Sunday I was feeling completely different. I had a complete meltdown, hysterically crying, all because he was leaving earlier than I thought he was going to leave. He placated me but taking me to breakfast but as we kissed and hugged goodbye the tears flowed. Feeling of emptiness and fear ran through me. Fear that something would happen and I would not be able to get to him. Never fear over me, just him. Emptiness of a house that did not have him moving in it, a bed that now had a cat sprawled out in his place, no one there for morning cuddles.

I woke up did my normal routine and honestly slept much better, as I had no one in bed waking me up.  Then my phone rang, I heard his voice and started to tear up just like the first time I had heard his voice after many years apart. That sweet, strong, southern voice, that touches my heart on so many levels. I was happy he called to talk to me before he went to sleep and I went to work. I loved hearing his voice and being able to tell him I love him.

This week will go by faster than I will realize it will, but one thing for sure is that absence does make the heart grow fonder. I cannot wait for him to be back in my arms.  (wow who knew I would ever say that about anyone!)

Love to All.

Post 88, 2013 Parents weekend

As we were painting last night, my husband laughs and says, "I feel like we are in college getting ready for parents weekend."  I laughed and said, "well we are"  Granted, we needed to paint anyway, but we are doing a deep clean, as lately we have not been cleaning like we should due to all of the projects we have going on with renovations.  For one week and weekend, our house will be put back and will look normal. I cannot tell you how elated I am about this. Our room may not get the cleaning I really want it to get depending on time and how much I get done tonight and tomorrow night, but to have the house looking and smelling pretty will make me a very happy girl. Especially the baby's room that I worked so hard at, that is now filled with my husbands smelly dirty laundry. Plus all my giveaways will go to some of my Junior league girls for Whale of a Sale quota and that makes me super happy!

So even though we have been through months of renovations, and a house that can never seem to stay cleaned, this weekend for one weekend, my house will be in order! I am super excited about that! WHOO HOO HOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Post 87, 2013 Fun times

This weekend was filled with fun times. Friday night, my husband surprised me with a sushi date, though I am sure it was his way to unmotivate me to paint :D   It still was a fun night of yummy food and good talks.

Saturday I woke up, worked out and met my bestie and her daughter for breakfast then a beach day. We had lots of laughs and the girl time was amazingly needed.  The plan was to get home and help the hubby paint, but by the time I made it home he was starving so he took me out for date # 2 this weekend to get me some caramel cake that I have been craving.  Nicely played again!.

So Sunday rolled around and it was paint day. We have a LARGE living room with lots of trim.  My loving husband had managed to get half the rooms trim done and as he kept working on the trim I did the walls. After 2 trips to Sherman Williams for more paint, we managed to get almost the entire room done. We have one little corner left, as well as some trim touch up, as I am the messiest painter alive. We laughed A LOT  and both realized we are not painters but it was definitely more fun doing it together. Plus he got to laugh as I sang and danced to some Black Eyed Peas and Ke$ha (don't judge). At one point he asked me, when we were quitting and I said you really do not want to ask me I take after my dad, we go until we are finished painting the room.  But about 5:30 I ran out of paint and instead of opening a new can we called it quits, cleaned up, cleaned ourselves off and headed to a much deserved dinner. I will say thick crust pizza and wine (for me, don't judge) and a beer for him was exactly what we needed.  We got home and were able to move part of the room back into its place, and hopefully I will be able to finish the rest tonight!.

It was definitely an exhausting day, but would not have wanted to do that with anyone else. We had a really good time laughing and painting. Glad I married my best friend!  He makes even the most tedious tasks fun!

Post 86, 2013. A letter to my former drama queen self

Dear Past Drama Queen,

Sometimes I look back on you and am very thankful for how far I have come.  Everyone once in awhile you seep out at the most inopportune times.  I do not miss always needing to be the center of attention, being  the constant gossip queen to ensure everyone knew I knew all, the one upping people, interrupting people as they talked, not liking or respecting myself and being a terrible friend.  I love that I now love myself even on my bad days, that I walk away from idle gossip as I really do not want to carry the burden of others secrets, that I truly want to help others for them, with nothing in return, that I can sit back and listen to a conversation and learn about others, that I shy away from things that make me the center of attention, that I love with a open heart, that I work hard for things and do not expect others to do it for me.

I do not miss the trouble you got me in, the people I hurt, the reputation I received, the so called fun times that I had, the not being able to stop, even when I knew I was doing the wrong thing. I am thankful for the person I am today and glad I learned how to break free from you. I no longer need the things you needed. I am no longer selfish nor a drunk. I do not miss thinking I was "sharing" when I was really gossiping and well gossip hurts that person and me. I do not miss venting to others, as venting only makes me angry and I have learned anger hurts. I do not miss being jealous over silly things like others getting more attention than me, as I no longer need that attention. My attention comes from within. I have learned to be at peace with what I have in life and to let things go. Purging material things is good for my soul. I no longer need them as a status symbol.

I am thankful that I learned from you and now can see your traits in others. When I see those traits, it makes me shy away from those people. I know I should help them and I do want to scream at them what I have learned, but no it is no use. People tried with me for years and it took me waking up and pushing you away before I learned from you and changed myself. Whenever those people try to bring me back into your fold, it makes me sad. I never want to me one with you again. I love feeling at peace. I am thankful for my life and love those who talk about things rather than people. So i try to point out positive things to them, and hope they do not rub off on me.  You come out too easily and that scares me. Most people do not see you in their personality. I never want to look in the mirror and see your face.

So thank you for giving me a lifetime of lessons, and thank you for going away. I wish I could say you are missed, but you are not. Please have fun in your new host, and leave me alone!

Sincerely,

J

Post 85, 2013 Taking things personally

Lately, I have been around people who take a lot of thing personally, that should not. Some of them make things up in their heads, some think people are out to get them, some just do not like to work or are not comfortable when they do not know the answer and some just cannot have an argument about something non personal without taking it personal. For me if I disagree with your opinion or we have a spat, it is over the moment we are done, I do not dwell on it. No reason too, the moment has past.  The only thing that happens with dwelling on things is you get angry, and hostile.

I personally want neither of those things in my life. You do not want to say good morning back, that is okay that is your issue. You do not want to say goodbye back, or thank you, again that is your issue.  We all go through things in life that others have no clue about and frankly most of us do not really want to know of others woes. All we want is for people to be respectful to us. I love my husband so much because we have those days where we have a disagreement or mis-communication that ends in a tift, once it is over it is over, we do not bring it up again, we are back to normal, we were able to say our peace and be done with it. One of the guys at the office is like that too, we get in some knock down drag outs, but once it is over, it is over. It was about something work related and has nothing to do with us personally. We will be joking around 30 mins later (sometimes earlier).   You will never agree with someone 100% of the time, so as long as they are not personally attacking you, then do not take it personally. We all have things to learn,we all have things we do not understand, we all see things in a different way. So to get mad at someone for that is silly, to get mad at them because you had a heated moment is silly.  To get mad at them for something you have not even told them they did or said, is silly.  Mis-communications happen all the time. Just because you think something, doesn't mean the other person does. Brush it off, smile and just enjoy your day. Letting others effect you is again silly!  No one should effect you but you!  If you feel a surge of anger, push it back down. When someone apologizes, accept it and move on, if something thanks you, say you are welcome and move on, when someone says hello or good bye even if you cannot stand the sight of them, say it back ad move on. You not liking them is your issue, not theirs. And if you find yourself not liking a lot of people, you might want to look internally, as usually the issue is you.

So smile, brush off things, do not take things personally and just be happy!