Post 78, 2013 So much hate

There is so much hate in this world. It amazes me every day, the things the media  and people focus on.  Things that really shouldn't matter.  People's pasts being brought up to the future, and in return ruining lives. Two things lately have been driving me crazy.

#1 Paula Dean. Oh my goodness, she is from the south, at one point in time the word she said was a very prominent word.  She even tells of the last time she can remember saying it and she was robbed at gunpoint, and that was the ENTIRE reason she used that word.  Had it been a white person, she probably would have called them a cracker or white trash. Get over it!  Everyone makes a mistake or says something they regret. Hers just happens to be YEARS ago. The poor woman has apologized over and over and over again. Have you never said something out of fear or anger?    Get a freaking life people and move on. This has gotten completely out of hand and is completely ridiculous!!

#2, Gay marriage. For the love of Pete, why do you care if someone else gets married or not?  I am really really really sick of hearing about this and the hate that is coming out of the people who are so called Christians. Does God not tell you to love everyone and not to judge?  That is his job not yours. You are to love every sinner regardless of their sin. If you feel like gay marriage is a sin that is your prerogative, however, you are still to love and support them. I have a few people who are very close to me who really really really do not like gay marriage or the idea that someone is gay at all. I find this completely fascinating, as they are good people, it seems as if they almost are afraid of what they do not know.   As if being gay makes you an alien or something. For me, why do I care what someone else does? If you love someone I do not care who it is, just treat them good.   Do not throw the bible at me, because I will throw it right back at you, and say " you should love thy neighbor" no matter what or who they are. It is not the churches fight to keep people from getting married, nor is it yours.   You should focus on things that you can change, like homeless people or poverty. Go volunteer at a homeless shelter or a foster kid camp. Do good in the world and stop being so hateful to those who are different from you.  Different is not always bad.  You need different to round you out. You need different to come up with new ideas. Embrace others, instead of pushing them away. Love everyone the same.  So why is it so hard for Christians to do the same?

I red a good blog the other day, and this may help you open your mind a little more. http://momastery.com/blog/2013/06/24/i-love-gay-people-and-i-love-christians-i-choose-all/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=i-love-gay-people-and-i-love-christians-i-choose-all

Stop hating, and just love others.  Mind your businesses and stop worrying about others.  Remember gossiping is a sin!  Let God worry about the sins and you just focus on you and what you can do to make the world a better place.  Focusing on hate, and changing others will do you no good. Make a difference in this world by shining your light, not by putting others lights out.

Post 77, 2013 - Lucky lucky girl

I will say I am feeling like a very lucky girl. I have a great job that I love, I have an amazing husband who works hard and is very supportive of all my crazy adventures. Friends who go up and beyond time and time again.  I have the ability to make extra income while spending time with kids who are like family to me. I have multiple "families" in Jax which makes it feel like the perfect place to be. I love love love my families here.  From the B family, to the D family to the O family. They love me and have taken me in as one of their own and I could not feel more blessed or honored. I love spending time with the B and D children and I love that their parents love me so much!  I love my O family and the brothers and sister I have gained with them. Sometimes I sit back and am just in awe of the love that I feel for them and I feel from them all!  No day ends better then when I see one of these families!!

So not only do I have two awesome families back home (plus amazing life long friends) but I have many in my current city and I am feeling like a pretty lucky girl at the moment!

Post 76, 2013 - Obesity a disease?

So I found this article today: http://www.nytimes.com/2013/06/19/business/ama-recognizes-obesity-as-a-disease.html?hpw&_r=2& and it is talking about the, A.M.A. Recognizes Obesity as a Disease.   I am not sure what to think about this. 

I am not sure it is so much a disease rather than lifestyle choices. Yes some poeple have underlying issues like thyroid disease that attribute to their obseity, but even with that, medicine is available to help keep that under control.  If your back is hurt and you cannot work out, there is still your diet that you can control. I really have a hard time swallowing that obesity is a disease.  Even with children  that are overweight, their lifestyle and their parents lifestyle directly effects that.   This article really makes me think. I almost feel like we are telling people it is okay to be obese, that even though being obese hurts them and drives up costs of Insurance for those of us who are not obese.   Why not just help them get back to a good place and weight? Why condone this lifestyle, when it has been proven over and over that you can change things, but finding out the underlying cause of the obesity?

Interesting none the less!

Post 75, 2013 25 phrases you wish you could say at work

So I am not sure where I got this from but it is my IM status at work and made me giggle so I thought I would share:

 25 phrases you wish you could say at work more often
1. Ahhh...I see the f-up fairy has visited us again...
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...
8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
10. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of sh*t.
11. I like you. You remind me of me when I was young and stupid.
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a darn.  
14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.  
21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.  
22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
23. No, my powers can only be used for good.
 24. You sound reasonable... Time to up the medication.
25. Who me? I just wander from room to room.

Post 74, 2013 Exciting news!

Yesterday was Father's Day and though my wonderful husband did nothing more than say 'next year you will be a mom on mothers day'. Which by the way was also my birthday.  I decided to show him what he should be doing for special days like that so, I bought an ultrasound frame and scheduled an ultrasound to find out the gender of our little fetus so we could find out what the gender was together. 

I am excited to announce that we will be having a little boy!  First boy on my side since my dad (well except for cousins).  And he has long legs and arms so he will have some height on him. Though already seems to be throwing tantrums (great).  The little guy was sucking his thumb and trying to sleep and was not so thrilled with being woken up (sounds like me).  He started pounding his fists and kicking his feet.  It was neat to see as I felt them.  Regardless of his tantrum,  it was good to see him and for B to be able to see him!

Post 73, 2013 Negativity

Negative
1.
a. Expressing, containing, or consisting of a negation, refusal, or denial:
b. Indicating opposition or resistance:
2. Lacking positive or constructive features, especially:
a. Unpleasant; disagreeable:
b. Gloomy; pessimistic:
c. Unfavorable or detrimental: a negative review;
d. Hostile or disparaging; malicious

People with these qualities rarely realize they have these qualities.  Sometimes they get a glimpse at the negative things in their life, some of them can even change their outlook, but most, just wallow in their negative thoughts, they vent about things over and over again, which only makes them re-live the negative moment,  they talk about people (not in a good way), they just are not fun to be around.  We all know someone like this, we ourselves may even by like this or were like this (me....I was totally a negative person at one point in my life).  We do not have to stay that way. With some hard work, it is really rather easy to step out of that negative personality, and lift yourself up to a positive one. If I can do it anyone can!

Yes some days are harder than others, every day you have to work at it. I have realized, that being positive is so much easier than being negative.  Though it is super easy to fall into a negative trap. You know when you are having a casual conversation and someone starts talking about someone else, and not in a good way.  The conversation could be entirely true, but still you are talking about someone and talking about someone usually ends in a negative light. It doesn't speak well of you for gossiping about others and doesn't help that person who needs love and support to help them be a better person.

One thing I have learned, which is hard for someone who has an empathetic personality like I do, is to not take the negativity personally. I know this is hard, it is easy to get wrapped up in the negativity of others, it is easy to feel like it is directly effecting you. Remember most negative people act that way to EVERYONE and only they can pull themselves out of it. All you can do is be there and shine positive outlooks on their negative outlook. Sometimes, you can break through to them like a sun on a rainy day.

Focus on solutions!  I like to offer a solution to those who complain constantly about the same thing. or try to spin things around to the positive light. This took a lot for me to speak up to those who constantly complained about everything, but it makes me smile, and makes me feel like I helped just a tiny bit show them another way of looking at things. My motto is do not complain unless you can come up with a solution to fix your complaint. Even at work, I do not complain to my boss, unless I have a solution I can offer to fix the issue. I think this was one of the last things I had to learn.  It was hard, as complaining is easy to do!

Practicing acts of kindness, always pulls me out of a negative mood. It never fails, I can be feeling grumpy and I do something as simple as smiling at someone else or opening a door for someone, and their smile or gratitude back immediately pulls me out of my mood.  Try doing something for someone else with no expectation of anything in return, it will make you feel like you won the lotto!

Focus on today, not the huge to do list you may have. Break things down into what you can do today.  Sometimes life gets overwhelming and just focusing on the day at hand can shed new light onto things and keep negativity at bay.

Life is a roller coaster ride. Life has its ups and downs, realize that!  Life is not always going to be filled with sunshine and rainbows.  I like to think that the downs, make me appreciate the ups so much more. I do not mind the down times, I can always find a way to laugh through the pain, and look forward to the up times. So your spouse broke up with you or you lost your job, well maybe they were not the right person to begin with or it was not the right job for you.  Someone better and an amazing job are out there waiting on you, so focus on being the best version of you, and good things will come.  Enjoy that ride, as we only get one!

Change the way you think!  If I have a negative thought come up or out of my mouth, I immediately put a positive one with it. I know that sounds crazy, but it helps me realize that what I just thought or said was negative, and makes me look at the thing or person in a better light, which only helps me.  So if I think, "her voice is so annoying", I immediately think of something nice, like "but she is really pretty". Silly yes, but it makes me accountable for my thoughts, and has helped me live a more positive life.

Surround yourself with positive people. This is really a no-brainer.  If you hang out with losers, you become a loser.  If you hang out with negative people you become negative.  If you hang out with people who challenge you to be a better person, you become that better person. If you hang out with positive people, you cannot help but become a positive person. Plus positive people are so much better to be around, they are healthier, they have great conversations, they laugh a lot and they lift you up!  It was hard for me to slowly cut out people who had been in my life for a long time, but were just bringing me down. I tried helping them be more positive; I tried being a positive example; I tried spinning things so they could see that things could be better than the way they saw them.  Sadly, some of them just wanted to wallow in their own negativity, and did not even realize i was no longer in their lives, as they found others who would listen to their complaints and commiserate with them. Cut the ties and let them go, it is sad yes, but sometimes that is exactly what you need to do to save yourself.  I know I felt as if a weight had been lifted.

Be the person you want as a friend. If you want to be around positive people, then be one yourself. Be the person you want to hang around, if you do not like you, then why would others? Be the example not the problem!

Let go! This one is hard for people, they want to dwell on things, re-live them over and over again, which only keep the negativity in your life. Let it go. Just like a bad day at the office, let it go. I do not think bringing up a past event after it has been put to rest does any good for anyone.  I try to forgive,  forget, and let go as soon as I have spoken my mind. If I relive that moment or that bad day at the office, then it is like it is happening all over again, which puts me in a bad mood, when that moment is over.  Try to let it go after the moment happens, and do not bring it up again. It may take some time to do this, but eventually it will be habit and you will be a much happier positive person.

Laugh!  Laughter is the best medicine to a bad day, or an ugly argument, really it is good for almost anything. A good belly laugh will make you forget your trouble and will release good endorphins that will make you smile. Positive people laugh a lot. So try not to take life too seriously and laugh when you can!  Your life will be better for it.

Whether you are negative or you are just around negative people, try using some of the above to overcome it!  Your life will more enriched and much more full, with positivity surrounding you! Don't be a negative Nelly and do not let a negative Nelly effect you! Shine through the negativity and show others your positive light!

Post 72, 2013 simple pleasures

Simple pleasures in life make me smile bigger than grand things do.  Today's simple pleasures were:

Laying with my husband as my back rest and having my cat use me as her blanket and pillow by backing herself under my leg and laying her head on my foot. 

Making dinner and dessert with my B girls. We made pigs in a blanket and had fresh strawberries then made Nutella croissants yum!

Their  giggles and hugs made my night! 

Take time to enjoy the simple pleasures as they are the best memories!

Post 71, 2013 - 30 Day Challenge

Ok I love love love this idea!  It came from TED.    Do a 30 day challenge!

It takes 21 days to form a habit, if you do it for 30, it will probably stick.  Whether it is working out, kicking a bad habit or doing something nice for others. Pick one or more challenges and stick with them! Challenge your friends to help you stay inspired! Keep a journal of your progress (this also holds you accountable to you) Do not pick too many challenges at the same time, you can always pick more in 30 days. Remember to have fun with it!

#1 Write a nice note each day to someone 
       I try to do this one daily.  This is the perfect way to let someone else know you care. Say thank you or I love this about you. You always will make someones day by doing this. Read this post for more on this!

#2 Replace your work chair with an exercise ball!
      Your core will improve, so will your posture and you burn extra calories while working!

#3  Meditate
There is nothing better than spending 20 mins to meditate and think about life, goals, and just breath!

#4 Talk to one stranger each day 
This one may be easy or hard depending on your personality. But try to stay something to someone that you do not know each day.  Especailly if they are older, they will love the attention and you will smile as well!


#5 Take a 30 minute walk/run each day 
     Go for a walk or run each day.  Take your dog, walk to dinner, enjoy the sights and being outside!

#6 Smile
Smile each day even to strangers, a smile is contagious and you not only will feel good but others will as well!

#7 Start a blog
You do not have to publish it, but start one. Find new things to talk about each day or have one dedicated to something you love. Inspire others and you inspire yourself!

#8 Take a moment each day to practice self-love 
Stop comparing yourself to others and learn to love you for who you are.  Look in the mirror and tell yourself all the reasons why you are awesome!


#9 Refrain from alcohol and other drugs for 30 days in a row! 
      I did this for a year. Was it hard? yes!  Did I get lots of ridicule from friends? Yes Did it make me a better person? Yes!  Do it!

#10 Learn how to draw
Use YouTube, take a class, it doesn't have to be a masterpiece but learn to draw, hey there is even Drawsomething and Drawsomething 2 that you can play with friends and learn!

#11 Write a 50,000 word novel in 30 days 
        Ever wanted to write a book? Do it. Do it in 30 days. My friend did and is on her 4th book all because of this website http://www.nanowrimo.org/


#12 Watch a documentary each day
There are some really cool things to learn about find some that you are interested in.. Super size me anyone?

#13 Learn a new language
In 30 days you can master a new language or at least be able to ask where the restroom is :D

#14 Walk/Drive/Run a new route to work/school each day 
        You will no longer be heading to your destination on autopilot and you may see some pretty cool things, and even learn something new.

#15 Read a chapter each day 
In a month you will be done with at least 1 book if not more!  Plus it is fun!

#16 Unplug
       Log out of Facebook, Twitter Google+ etc, do not watch tv, or play video games for 30 days.  You will be amazed at how much more time you have and what else you can accomplish!

#17 Ditch a bad habit for 30 days 
       Are you a negative person?  Do you smoke? Do you do drugs? Do you drink heavily? are you a couch potato?  Do you eat crappy?  Quit whatever for 30 days, and pick another good habit instead!

#18 Motivate/Inspire yourself each day 
       People who can motivate themselves are happier people.  Find things that motivate and inspire you every day!  Write them down so when you are having a bad day you can look at it and help lift yourself up!

#19 Try a new recipe each day 
This is the best way to learn to cook, after awhile you will be making up your own recipes

#20 Set goals
       Look ahead in your life and set a goal for you to do for the next 15-30 years! Set one each day!

#21 Take one picture each day
Make a picture diary of your month.  You will be amazed at some of the pics you take!

#22 Keep a journal 
        Write down what happens each day.  Remember the joys and the let downs. Write about the challenges you have taken this month. It is a great practice to get in and you can read it to your kids one day!

#23 Doing something that scares you every day 
      The only way to overcome your fear is to well, face it head on!

#24 Take the stairs every chance you get 
      Did you know it is quicker to walk stairs than to take an elevator or escalator?  Try it, not only will you save time but you will help your health!  Win win!

#25 Don’t lie for 30 days 
Not even little white lies.  Tell the truth every time you speak, and even to yourself!

#26 Work out daily
Your mood will improve, your health will improve and it will become a habit!

#27 Wake up earlier than you normally do each day 
You will be amazed at how much more you can accomplish even waking up 30 mins earlier a day! After 30 days you may even be a morning person... MAYYYYY

#28 Don’t complain for the entire 24 hours, for 30 days
      This is a hard one, and you may fail from time to time, even positive people have an issue not saying ANYTHING negative.  Sometimes it just slips out, if it does, follow it with something positive until you have this one down.. after 30 days you will be a pro!

#29 Learn something new
Each day find something you do not know how to do and try it out.  You may find a new hobby!

#30 Do (at least) one completely selfless act each day 
       Pay things forward, go out of your way to help someone else out. Do something that takes real effort on your part while making the day of the receiver.

Now pick one or more and start your 30 day challenge to be a better version of you!!

Post 70, 2013 A little note goes a long way

I love getting little notes in the mail and I love love love sending them as well. I am really good about sending thank you notes for simple things.  I do this, because it makes me smile to let someone else know they touched my life in some way. I am not so good at the birthday cards.  I have 2 friends who are AMAZING at them.  They send birthday cards, mothers day cards, thank you notes etc. They do not just send the stock cards either, they send personalized nice cards. It always makes me smile to get these in the mail, because they are always unexpected but such a sweet gesture. It always puts a nice end to my day to get the mail and find one of these unexpected surprises.

Even at the office I have these little "free compliments" that I passed out for Christmas. It is a sheet of compliments you can pass out over the year, things like " I am glad I work with you", "I like to hear you laugh" "You have a beautiful soul"  "You have a gorgeous smile". "Thank you for all you do"  Simple right? Yet they go so far. I love coming in to my desk and seeing one of these sitting on my computer. It starts my day off so well!.

I even love when a message pops up on facebook, "Thanks for motivating me"  You are so welcome :D Those notes motivate me as well!.

So even though it takes a few minutes, try writing a note for someone. It doesn't have to be much, just a simple, "thank you for being my friend!" or "You amaze me thanks for being you"  Little notes go a long way, makes you smile and certainly will make them smile as well! So get started today!

ps thanks for reading my blog!!!

Post 69, 2013 Mantrums

I have been talking to friends lately, and all but one has a husband who throws temper tantrums on a regular basis. I find this comical. Are they raised that it is okay for them to act like this, or is this just how they are. I know some women do the same, but it seems like way more men do. In fact they seem to do it over the smallest things, that you are like whoaaaa, if you just had said something instead of throwing a tantrum, you could have avoided an argument.   Mine likes to do this and then he thinks he is punishing me, when he just punishes himself. Which makes me giggle.. after I get over wanting to beat him. (I refrain from the beating.. i swear!)
One person said, "My husband throws tantrums about hair in the sink, food not completely washed off the dishes or recycling, the children complaining, nobody listening to him, having to recheck the lights after he has locked up for the night and someone needed something downstairs and the cat getting under his feet.  This is just to name a few of the things that will start him to ranting and stomping about the house like an overgrown three year old."

Someone else, "My husband throw a big fit last week because I embarrassed him while he was on the phone with his friend. I mean WTH Really I embarrassed you. He went all out yelling at me, breaking stuff and some very hurtful things were said to be. All because I embarrassed him . And by the way, he was asking me questions while he was on the phone, and apparently my "tone" made his friend laugh. GRRR "

Another, "This is sooo great. My bf just kicked and broke our baby gate bc he was mad I step over it rather than unhooking it and I messed it up somehow. So now he kicked it and stripped it out of the wall in our brand new house."

There are tons of stories from women about this. I know I know women are guilty too, but we seem to be able to snap and get over it, and when we snap it seems to be because we are at the end of our rope, not over his laundry being on the bed and the wife not putting it up before she went to sleep, or the dog barking loud, or peeing on the floor, or the kid that talks to loud.  It is funny how different men and women are and how they deal with stress.  Definitely true that men would never make it through carrying a child and giving birth!

So when your man has a mantrum, if you can, ignore him, he will get over it.  If he is not talking to you, ignore him, he will eventually talk again. Try to keep a positive outlook and smile through his mantrum and know that just like with a child, it will end soon!