Follow this blog with bloglovin
Sunday, October 26, 2014
Post 21-2014. The year I quit drinking
Last night we went out for a fun date night. Though looking back on how the night progressed, I can't help but reflect on the year I quit drinking and the girl I once was. Last night I had 3 drinks. 3. That's not a lot by any standards. But it is a lot for me. Had we not had a curfew of 9:30 to relieve the sitter, 3 could have easily turned into way more. Though as I was drinking the 3rd I had my realization that I needed to walk away. I put it down, with liquid still in my bottle and went home. 5 years ago that never would have happened. I would have drank every last drop and invited people back to the house for an after party. Then the next thing I would know, the sun would be coming up and I would be going to sleep. The year I quit drinking I learned a lot about myself. I learned a lot about who my true friends were and who were not really my friends. The year I quit drinking I learned about icing life to the fullest aware of my surroundings and remembering how much fun I had. The years prior to the year I quit drinking, were filled with dangers, lies, blackouts, not being kind to myself, not being kind to others, being this other girl who I do not recognize or like. A girl who should have been raped or killed. Who wasn't careful, who did things that are completely different than anything I would do sober. She was selfish, mean, had no inhibitions, was thee life of the party but not in a good day. She drank too much, didn't know how to quit, or say no, had low self esteem, very opinionated, pushy and just not nice. She was the reason I quit drinking for a year. She made me realize I was better than that. She scared me with her blackouts and not remembering. She had my rely on others for memories, some of which were not true. Lies were told about her and I couslnt dispute them. I thought she might me an alcoholic so I made her quit drinking. For one year we quit. For one year I drank soda, tea or water at happy hour. For one year, i dealt with snide remarks about me hosting a happy hour but not drinking. I was told me not drinking made some people not trust me. I awoke to a new world. I started working out I lost 50lbs. I learned to love me. I Was enlightened. I became the person I thought I was all the time. I became the best friend anyone could ask for. I cherished those who stood by me in my dark days. I learned I never wanted to me that other girl again. When the year of not drinking ended. I was stronger, I had self esteem, I was nice and beautiful and for and loved me really really loved me. I knew who I was and where I was going. I was thankful and humble. I learned I could drink 2 drinks total before there was a chance that other girl who I walked away from could emerge. I learned really I was happy with 1 drink with dinner occasionally. I learned who my true friends were. I learned I was a better person sober and I really liked her. The year I quit drinking taught me a lot. Mainly I will never forget why I quit and will do anything to make sure that girl other girl never appears again. For my friends, for my family and for me
Thursday, October 23, 2014
Post 20 - 2014 Trust your instincts
Trust your instincts!
Anytime I do not trust my instincts, something goes wrong or I get myself into trouble.
When I was single it was that voice in the back of my head that said, "uhhh he is not a nice guy", or "there is something off about this, get out of the situation". One time that voice hit me before i went on a date, I meta-crawled (before googling was big.. showing my age huh?) the guy and he has been arrested for date rape. Yeah I canceled that date. Crazy to think what could have happened to me. So single girls, listen to yourself! And for the love of Pete DO NOT get hammered on a first date!
Or when you get that feeling like you need to talk to a friend, just to call h to find out they are going through something and really need you.. that is your instinct. Do not ignore it, pick that phone up.
Mamas when it comes to your babies, TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS! You get a funny feeling about daycare, look into it; You think the baby is fine sleeping through the night but the hubs doesn't, trust yourself; You do not like your child's friend, trust yourself.
Life would be way better if we trusted ourselves.
So after beginning this post and not finishing yet (as per my usual) I saw this article which also states "trust your instincts"
Anytime I do not trust my instincts, something goes wrong or I get myself into trouble.
When I was single it was that voice in the back of my head that said, "uhhh he is not a nice guy", or "there is something off about this, get out of the situation". One time that voice hit me before i went on a date, I meta-crawled (before googling was big.. showing my age huh?) the guy and he has been arrested for date rape. Yeah I canceled that date. Crazy to think what could have happened to me. So single girls, listen to yourself! And for the love of Pete DO NOT get hammered on a first date!
Or when you get that feeling like you need to talk to a friend, just to call h to find out they are going through something and really need you.. that is your instinct. Do not ignore it, pick that phone up.
Mamas when it comes to your babies, TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS! You get a funny feeling about daycare, look into it; You think the baby is fine sleeping through the night but the hubs doesn't, trust yourself; You do not like your child's friend, trust yourself.
Life would be way better if we trusted ourselves.
So after beginning this post and not finishing yet (as per my usual) I saw this article which also states "trust your instincts"
Since I've rambled and walked Away from this several times. I will end this post since I don't remember all I intended to write. But seriously. Trust you instincts!
Tuesday, October 7, 2014
Post 19 - Co-sleeping
For those of you that know me, I am a fairly crunchy Mama. Never thought I would do a few things before I had my child, but once I had him, some of my preconceived notions changed.
One of those items was co-sleeping. My husband and I had discussed this pre-baby and both agreed, the baby belongs in their own crib. We were good with them being in the bassinet until they were ready for the crib, but the crib was where he would go.
We followed this for awhile, kinda. When we brought him home from the hospital, it was cold.. I mean like the coldest months of the year and we live in a 1924 house with no insulation. So our little started out in his bassinet, in the warmest swaddle blankets we could find, and even covered part of the bassinet with blankets trying to keep the warmth in. At one point we even added a heating pad to the end of the bassinet to aid with heat. We even around 3 am when it was super cold, would let him sleep face up on my chest (I sleep on my back and do not roll over, plus a very light sleeper) My parents were sweet and bought a stand up heater for us and that definitely helped. Our room was finally warm. We started the night out great, the baby would sleep in the bassinet, sometimes he and I would fall asleep while he was eating, but again I never rolled over, and he just laid on my chest. I never fed him on my side, when he was that young. I was almost on my back and he laid on top of me. He at 2 weeks would lift his head. It was crazy. For naps, he just napped on my chest while I watched tv or wrapped him up to get things done. For the most part at night, though, he stayed in the bassinet right next to me. The only issue was he never could self sooth, because I would grab him as soon as he made a sound so that my husband would not wake. Around 8 weeks, we moved him to his crib and he did sooo good. He woke every 3-4 hours to eat then went right back to sleep. We felt so lucky. When we went to my parents, he slept in the pack and play in "his" room. We were plugging right along with our plans. Then the little and I went on vacation, where we had to fly and had no pack in play. He was 6 months and he could roll around, was crawling, sitting up, and had some weight on him. While on vacation, we co-slept. Co-slept in a queen bed and a twin bed. It went really really well and Mama and baby got used to getting a lot of sleep, since I didn't have to get up to get him to feed him. When we got back home after that week, we tried to go back into the crib but it was rough. So about once a week my husband would sleep on the couch so that the baby and I could have the bed, since he did not trust himself not to roll over too much. By month 8, one night a week was more like 6 to 7 nights a week. Month 10, we added the bed rail and the baby sleeps against the rail and me, so my husband can come to bed when he wants too. The baby has his own baby pillow, our bed is harder (not memory foam), we have a thin blanket, we do not smoke, just my pillow and my husbands and any time I wake, I check him to make sure nothing is covering his mouth/nose. He is 21 lbs now and pushes me over in the bed. Still every time he moves, I wake to check on him. He still feeds on top of me, or with his head cradled on my arm while drinking.
Today I wake to see in my Facebook feed this woman with a 3 month old who decided to co-sleep, fell asleep while side feeding her baby, and woke, but her baby never did. He suffocated more than likely. It broke my heart. I cried and cried, as I could never imagine going through that pain. As I write this my 10 month old is asleep on my chest and the thought of losing him, because we co-slept and I accidentally suffocated him makes me want to throw up. My sister has co-slept with both her girls, and one time when the youngest was a few days old, she was in the recliner with her, and fell asleep, woke up to the baby between her and the recliner, she has not idea how she didn't suffocate. That scared her so badly she only slept in the bed with the baby from that point on. As she had nothing in the bed for her to suffocate on but her. Most babies suffocate from sleeping with someone in recliners and couches as they have sides and non breathable material, so NEVER sleep with your baby there!!
We all make choices that we think are the right things to do for us and our family. We do not know the circumstances of this woman who so tragically lost her baby. What I do know is that you have choices. You can co-sleep by using a co-sleeper, a bassinet or crib with the side down, you can bed share and make sure you do not have anything the baby could suffocate on and enough room for you both to move around.Some doctors are pro co-sleeping, as you can check on your baby easier. Others are against it for the suffocating reason.
You can never co-sleep, and use monitors to track breathing and heart beats to ensure you wake quickly in case the baby stops breathing. Though from all I hear about SIDS, even if the child is in your arms, if they are pre-disposed to SIDS, there is not anything you will be able to do. We have the angel monitor which really is our peace of mind from ours not breathing and that thing goes off and scares the piss out of me. Or wait until yours is much older (over 6 months) to co-sleep where they can roll over on their own and push you, blankets, pillows etc out of the way.
Here is a good article about SIDS and co-sleeping: Does Co Sleeping Lead to SIDS? - HealthyChild.
Unfortunately you can do all the "right" things, and still something tragic can happen. Do your research, trust your gut and be safe!
One of those items was co-sleeping. My husband and I had discussed this pre-baby and both agreed, the baby belongs in their own crib. We were good with them being in the bassinet until they were ready for the crib, but the crib was where he would go.
We followed this for awhile, kinda. When we brought him home from the hospital, it was cold.. I mean like the coldest months of the year and we live in a 1924 house with no insulation. So our little started out in his bassinet, in the warmest swaddle blankets we could find, and even covered part of the bassinet with blankets trying to keep the warmth in. At one point we even added a heating pad to the end of the bassinet to aid with heat. We even around 3 am when it was super cold, would let him sleep face up on my chest (I sleep on my back and do not roll over, plus a very light sleeper) My parents were sweet and bought a stand up heater for us and that definitely helped. Our room was finally warm. We started the night out great, the baby would sleep in the bassinet, sometimes he and I would fall asleep while he was eating, but again I never rolled over, and he just laid on my chest. I never fed him on my side, when he was that young. I was almost on my back and he laid on top of me. He at 2 weeks would lift his head. It was crazy. For naps, he just napped on my chest while I watched tv or wrapped him up to get things done. For the most part at night, though, he stayed in the bassinet right next to me. The only issue was he never could self sooth, because I would grab him as soon as he made a sound so that my husband would not wake. Around 8 weeks, we moved him to his crib and he did sooo good. He woke every 3-4 hours to eat then went right back to sleep. We felt so lucky. When we went to my parents, he slept in the pack and play in "his" room. We were plugging right along with our plans. Then the little and I went on vacation, where we had to fly and had no pack in play. He was 6 months and he could roll around, was crawling, sitting up, and had some weight on him. While on vacation, we co-slept. Co-slept in a queen bed and a twin bed. It went really really well and Mama and baby got used to getting a lot of sleep, since I didn't have to get up to get him to feed him. When we got back home after that week, we tried to go back into the crib but it was rough. So about once a week my husband would sleep on the couch so that the baby and I could have the bed, since he did not trust himself not to roll over too much. By month 8, one night a week was more like 6 to 7 nights a week. Month 10, we added the bed rail and the baby sleeps against the rail and me, so my husband can come to bed when he wants too. The baby has his own baby pillow, our bed is harder (not memory foam), we have a thin blanket, we do not smoke, just my pillow and my husbands and any time I wake, I check him to make sure nothing is covering his mouth/nose. He is 21 lbs now and pushes me over in the bed. Still every time he moves, I wake to check on him. He still feeds on top of me, or with his head cradled on my arm while drinking.
Today I wake to see in my Facebook feed this woman with a 3 month old who decided to co-sleep, fell asleep while side feeding her baby, and woke, but her baby never did. He suffocated more than likely. It broke my heart. I cried and cried, as I could never imagine going through that pain. As I write this my 10 month old is asleep on my chest and the thought of losing him, because we co-slept and I accidentally suffocated him makes me want to throw up. My sister has co-slept with both her girls, and one time when the youngest was a few days old, she was in the recliner with her, and fell asleep, woke up to the baby between her and the recliner, she has not idea how she didn't suffocate. That scared her so badly she only slept in the bed with the baby from that point on. As she had nothing in the bed for her to suffocate on but her. Most babies suffocate from sleeping with someone in recliners and couches as they have sides and non breathable material, so NEVER sleep with your baby there!!
We all make choices that we think are the right things to do for us and our family. We do not know the circumstances of this woman who so tragically lost her baby. What I do know is that you have choices. You can co-sleep by using a co-sleeper, a bassinet or crib with the side down, you can bed share and make sure you do not have anything the baby could suffocate on and enough room for you both to move around.Some doctors are pro co-sleeping, as you can check on your baby easier. Others are against it for the suffocating reason.
You can never co-sleep, and use monitors to track breathing and heart beats to ensure you wake quickly in case the baby stops breathing. Though from all I hear about SIDS, even if the child is in your arms, if they are pre-disposed to SIDS, there is not anything you will be able to do. We have the angel monitor which really is our peace of mind from ours not breathing and that thing goes off and scares the piss out of me. Or wait until yours is much older (over 6 months) to co-sleep where they can roll over on their own and push you, blankets, pillows etc out of the way.
Here is a good article about SIDS and co-sleeping: Does Co Sleeping Lead to SIDS? - HealthyChild.
Unfortunately you can do all the "right" things, and still something tragic can happen. Do your research, trust your gut and be safe!
Saturday, October 4, 2014
Post 18-2014 date nights are important
Tonight was our first date night out on the town in 10 months without little bit. We had fun though it was odd not having him with us. My hubby was in such a great mood and so was I. Lots of laughs were had and he got to meet some friends for the first time in person. It was nice to reconnect as a couple. We have so many fun memories of just us and just us and animals, but it's sometimes hard to remember days before he had little bit. Those memories seem so far away. Tonight we made new memories, got to act like we were childless for a few hours but came home to our sweet energizer bunny. 
Date nights are good for your relationship. They help remind you of the couple you were pre child. They spice up your sexy time and much more. we know this but it's so hard to find the time and energy to do this. We have made a commitment to have more date nights. We have another one in two weeks and I'm excited. I can tell you my hubby was excited all day about the idea of having alone time with me. Usually we do date night in, which is fun and our way to reconnect after little bit goes to bed. So don't think you always need to go out. Making time in or out of the house work, doesn't matter how, just matters that you do it. Date nights are important!
What are some of your favorite date night ideas??
Friday, October 3, 2014
Post 17, 2014 Loving your child
Lately I have heard so many parents venting about their kids. They hate this, they hate that, why can't they just do xyz. Some down right say they hate their kids. Maybe I am just too new to this Mommyhood thing, but you hate your kids? I mean they are little people who came into this world with a blank slate. You cannot expect them to act like an adult. Even my husband sometimes says things to our 10 month old and i am like, "really? he is 10 months old.. it takes a lot or repetition for him to catch on." I mean I do not want a hair puller or biter either, but he is 10 months old. You see i am more of a peaceful attachment parent, my husband is more of spare the rod, spoil the child. Where I think me being spanked, just made me fear my parents and learn to lie, he thinks it helped him. Two different parenting styles that have to figure out a way to mesh together. Not so easy. The one thing we agree on, is we love our child. We really really love him. We hit the kid lotto with him. He has his moments, but he is a happy happy baby. Some people say it is because B and I are so happy and laid back. I would love it if that were true, but i guess we will never know until we have a 2nd if we do. For now I will take my happy go lucky baby.
I even on the days where he's tired and cranky do I love my child. I can't expect him to always be happy when we as adults aren't. As adults we are not always pleasant to be around, and we can express ourselves. They can cry and scream. Everyone has bad days and being a kid who cannot communicate seems like it would be a little scary. I mean you have gas and it hurts as an adult, you know why, as a baby, you just know you are in pain. You do not know it will pass, and you cannot ask for medication to help with the pain, so you cry. Someone tells you "no" or "stop" as an adult, you understand why, and it stings but you deal with it. (well some people deal with it). As a child. you cry, you pitch a fit (some adults never grow out of this). It is my job as a parent to teach my little one how to express himself without pitching a fit, or I will end up with one of those adults they never grow out of it. Kids get angry, and they do not know how to express themselves. It builds up and they pop! Adults who do not learn how to deal with their emotions as a child, have the same issues when they get older. We cannot hold our kids to the same standards we do adults. We have to teach them, and teaching them take time, patience and a whole lot of love. I cannot imagine giving up my child to my husband and saying, "take him he is yours" That would make my heart hurt and honestly probably kill me.
Love your child, even on the days you do not like them. Love them and feel their love back. They love you whole-heartedly. Nothing is better than seeing my child smile! Melts me every time. And his giggles.. oh his giggles, I always hope he finds me as funny as he does at this moment in time, as I am the most hilarious person to him and I LOVE that! Your child can help boost your confidence if you let them!
Your child did not choose to come into this world, you chose for them. Nurture them, teach them, be patient with them, learn from them, and love them! Love them for them. Whether they are moody or happy go lucky, love them. A loved child that feels secure, will become a well adjusted confident adult. It is proven time and time again. Ignoring them, not showing them love, and always belittling them, will produce a insecure unhappy adult, and who wants that? Some say loving them too much spoils them, no giving them everything they want, spoils them. Loving them, making them feel secure costs nothing, but will produce a very amazing and awesome product!
What are some of your favorite things about your child??
Love your child, even on the days you do not like them. Love them and feel their love back. They love you whole-heartedly. Nothing is better than seeing my child smile! Melts me every time. And his giggles.. oh his giggles, I always hope he finds me as funny as he does at this moment in time, as I am the most hilarious person to him and I LOVE that! Your child can help boost your confidence if you let them!
Your child did not choose to come into this world, you chose for them. Nurture them, teach them, be patient with them, learn from them, and love them! Love them for them. Whether they are moody or happy go lucky, love them. A loved child that feels secure, will become a well adjusted confident adult. It is proven time and time again. Ignoring them, not showing them love, and always belittling them, will produce a insecure unhappy adult, and who wants that? Some say loving them too much spoils them, no giving them everything they want, spoils them. Loving them, making them feel secure costs nothing, but will produce a very amazing and awesome product!
What are some of your favorite things about your child??
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)