Really?

So my life lately is not really how i pictured it.. at the age of 33, I still have not learned what the word no entails. I do not like being told no, i do not like saying no, i just really do not like that word at all. And when i get told no, i do things i shouldn't. I go shopping when i shouldn't, i drink to much when i shouldn't, i act out when i shouldn't. At what age do you stop acting out.. stop acting like a 5 year old brat.. hmm i think i am going to try that now.. that sounds like a good plan to me.. ooh it will be hard but i can try. .its all i can do. .or else i will end up alone due to my self destructiveness behavior :(