Sick weekend, with littles

This weekend was challenging. I am including, the Thurs and Friday before and the Monday after the weekend in this.  The boys were, are,  sick. I was under the weather. It was crummy!  The boys would not stop crying and both needed me to hold them. I was over touched, all my senses were in hyper-drive and I just wanted to sleep.  The kids were off their rockers most weekend, pushing my triggers, pushing me to the brink of insanity. It wasn't pretty. I yelled most of the day Friday. It was not my finest moment as a person or mom. I cried, I apologized, i held babies as they melted-down,  it was a rough weekend.   Happiness was teetering. I was walking that tightrope and did not know which way I would fall. Thankfully, I fell on the happiness side. I hugged babies, I forgave myself when I failed and I kept trying!  I even laughed, when the kids got out of ear shot, as they were nuts on Monday.

Here is my Monday night run down. Now keep this in mind, we only have 2.5 hours before we climb into bed. The oldest did not connect as soon as we walked in the house, which needs to happen. Then I jumped into, giving them a snack, making dinner, calling my bestie who just got a new job while i cooked. see that last bit, that is where the night took a turn. To get my attention, the oldest would steal ingredients. Now usually all of these things that I am about to tell you about, would have triggered me yelling or getting mad. But I knew he didn't feel good, he misses daddy and he wasn't connected to me.  So i take them back and nicely remind him we do not steal items.   Next we have the smooshed banana, that then got thrown around like a monkey, floor, walls, as i am taking him to wash his hands he is trying to hit everything. I was able to get him to calm down and help clean up, but then we spilled some cleaner, then water, and it was a water slide show until mama could grab towels. I got them to the bathroom to see all the toilet paper on the floor.. and then to the bedroom to see all the sheets on the floor... i asked them to clean up and make the bed which they did, then the baby accidentally got hit with a hair dryer as his brother lets it swing from the door as he yelled out "watch out" and then when it hit his brother "Mama I told him to watch out, he didn't watch out" I had to turn around to keep him from seeing me laugh. See I had a choice, I could get mad or I could stay happy while helping them with the next course of action. By the end of the night, we were able to talk calmly and get down to "I missed you today and really wanted you to play with me"  Well let's communicate next time please?  I would have missed that connection had I gotten mad or yelled. I am glad I handled everything with grace and calmness. They were able to help clean up messes and we got to bottom of the issues. This morning was amazing!  Hoping for a good night tonight too!

I was very down on myself Monday morning for losing it on Friday, but I was able to turn it around, which in return helped me help the little's through their meltdowns.  No matter where you are, you can always turn it around.  Cry, say what you need to, in order to pull yourself back up and try again. It is okay to fail. It is not okay to stay down. Get up, do better, choose happy!

What is one of your recent wins?

~Jamie

Different Perspectives

My hubs works out of town during the week, so weekends are especially important to us. The comical thing is, we are two very different people. What makes him happy, isn't usually something I would chose and vice versa.   This past weekend, ee had our anniversary day date. It is our little tradition, as we have small kids. So doing a day date is always better for us. The caveat to that, is there isn't always a lot to do on a week day in a small town. We did not plan anything.  I am a girl who likes plans. I like to dress for what we are doing. It makes me super happy.  He knows I get hangry, so he fed me first, one of my fave little places to eat!  Then we did something that made him happy, shopping.... I do not like shopping, i know I am a girl, i should, but I do not. I kept a smile on my face and even chose to say "let's go into two more places".  He knows I do not like shopping but instead of making him totally miserable while he was doing something he loves to do, I made him happy!  Which started out our weekend in an amazing positive position.

We tend to cram a lot of things into 2 short days. I have learned with small kids, if they are tired or hungry, nothing you can do will reason with them. I tend to stay on top of making sure they sleep and get food, to ensure less meltdowns which in return means daddy stays in a good mood and mama doesn't lose her shit :D  Then during the week, the kids and I melt back into a zen zone of calmness and staying home to re-charge. We have also been able too lately, get daddy to have a zen Sunday, which is very hard for someone who likes to go go go or crash.  I have learned that tending to our basic needs and making sure those are filled, help create a good base for a happy life.

Sometimes, we need to open our eyes, to see others needs, and wants. I may not be hungry but the little's may be or hubs may be.   I constantly check in with them "are you thirsty, are you hungry, do you need to pee"   The answer for me is always thirsty and always need to pee and I am usually hungry.  but it isn't about me. I can control me and my attitude, but i need to help guide the boys!  It is hard for someone to stay angry or in a bad mood if the others around them are happy and their basic needs are met.   This weekend could have gone bad in a lot of ways. Had my attitude changed at all, then I would have effected my families attitudes. By keeping myself in check and making sure my buckets are full, I was able to help everyone around me stay happy, feeling loved and of course well fed :D

Little changes create BIG results!  Never underestimate small changes!

What small change can you make to help make your life happier?

~Jamie