This weekend was challenging. I am including, the Thurs and Friday before and the Monday after the weekend in this. The boys were, are, sick. I was under the weather. It was crummy! The boys would not stop crying and both needed me to hold them. I was over touched, all my senses were in hyper-drive and I just wanted to sleep. The kids were off their rockers most weekend, pushing my triggers, pushing me to the brink of insanity. It wasn't pretty. I yelled most of the day Friday. It was not my finest moment as a person or mom. I cried, I apologized, i held babies as they melted-down, it was a rough weekend. Happiness was teetering. I was walking that tightrope and did not know which way I would fall. Thankfully, I fell on the happiness side. I hugged babies, I forgave myself when I failed and I kept trying! I even laughed, when the kids got out of ear shot, as they were nuts on Monday.
Here is my Monday night run down. Now keep this in mind, we only have 2.5 hours before we climb into bed. The oldest did not connect as soon as we walked in the house, which needs to happen. Then I jumped into, giving them a snack, making dinner, calling my bestie who just got a new job while i cooked. see that last bit, that is where the night took a turn. To get my attention, the oldest would steal ingredients. Now usually all of these things that I am about to tell you about, would have triggered me yelling or getting mad. But I knew he didn't feel good, he misses daddy and he wasn't connected to me. So i take them back and nicely remind him we do not steal items. Next we have the smooshed banana, that then got thrown around like a monkey, floor, walls, as i am taking him to wash his hands he is trying to hit everything. I was able to get him to calm down and help clean up, but then we spilled some cleaner, then water, and it was a water slide show until mama could grab towels. I got them to the bathroom to see all the toilet paper on the floor.. and then to the bedroom to see all the sheets on the floor... i asked them to clean up and make the bed which they did, then the baby accidentally got hit with a hair dryer as his brother lets it swing from the door as he yelled out "watch out" and then when it hit his brother "Mama I told him to watch out, he didn't watch out" I had to turn around to keep him from seeing me laugh. See I had a choice, I could get mad or I could stay happy while helping them with the next course of action. By the end of the night, we were able to talk calmly and get down to "I missed you today and really wanted you to play with me" Well let's communicate next time please? I would have missed that connection had I gotten mad or yelled. I am glad I handled everything with grace and calmness. They were able to help clean up messes and we got to bottom of the issues. This morning was amazing! Hoping for a good night tonight too!
I was very down on myself Monday morning for losing it on Friday, but I was able to turn it around, which in return helped me help the little's through their meltdowns. No matter where you are, you can always turn it around. Cry, say what you need to, in order to pull yourself back up and try again. It is okay to fail. It is not okay to stay down. Get up, do better, choose happy!
What is one of your recent wins?
~Jamie
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