Day 186 - 2012 Going out on limbs

Some times you need to take a chance and go out on a limb. If you never try new things, your life with never change.  Sometimes the best things are a little out of your reach. Sometimes you need to climb out on that limb to reach the best fruit/experience out there.   You cannot continue doing the same actions over and over and expect that a different result will happen.  Life is all about chances and changes.  Take a chance, change, better yourself.    Now will you fail sometimes going out on that limb?  Yes of course.. life is all roses, rainbows and sunshine.. you will fail and often.. but the upside to HUMONGOUS failures, is that they make AMAZINGLY FABULOUSLY entertaining stories!  Let me tell you, I have some funny stories.  They were not so funny at the time, but given some distance, you can learn from the failure and laugh at yourself!  Get out there and take a chance!

Day 185 - 2012 Grass is greener....

If you think the grass is greener on the other side.. water your side.....   Simple if you think about it.  Sure the new and bright looks nice but so does seeing hard work pay off.   Nothing in life comes easy that is worth anything.  If you want it, you have to work for it.  Working for something makes you appreciate it more.  Otherwise you will always go through life looking for something better and never being satisfied with what you have. You will look for the easy route instead of the direct route.  The direct route may be more difficult but the rewards will be greater!

Water your grass.. fertilize it and watch it grow into something amazing!

Day 184 -2012 Every thought is a seed

‎"Every thought is a seed. If you plant crab apples, don't count on harvesting Golden Delicious" ..... Dan Zadra

Every thought leads to an action.  Whether it just effects your mood, or the next move you make.   I have been struggling with this.  I have been wishing.. thinking.. whatever, bad thoughts about Goober.  He still is not paying his loan we are co-signed on and is not responding, and is lying to his mom that he has paid it.  I am not angry but I am thinking ill things toward him.. or was.  Last night it literally slapped me in the face that I need to change my thoughts and plant new seeds.  He has become a very scummy person, worse than I have seen ever.  He just keeps spiraling down this dark dark hole.  I definitely do not want to be dragged down the hole. So last night I am talking with my roomie A.... saying I wish bad things upon him (not nice I know) and crash cat food went everywhere.  She said, "uh oh.. stop saying bad things.. karma bit you immediately." I was lke I know, but he "blah blah blah more bad thoughts." and bammmm crash,  something I put up on a shelf fell and hit me and made another mess.  So during this conversation I must have dropped multiple things each time a bad thought came to mind.  So my lesson was, stop thinking bad thoughts and bad things will stop happening to you.  So I changed my attitude, looked deep within me and as much as I hate rewarding his bad behavior by paying his student loan, I would rather pay it and cease contact with him until the loan is paid and I can sue him, than to continue contacting him on a daily basis.  He was bringing bad juju my way and I cannot let that happen at all. I have an amazing man in my life who is willing to help pick up the slack or a loser ex.  I am not going to let Goober spoil what I have, so this morning I sent an email letting him know I was done dealing with his immature irresponsible self and good luck in life.  I cannot make him be a better person and he definitely does not want to be a better person or even a decent person.  Not sure why he fell so far down a hole but wow what a hole he has fallen in.  

I would rather plant good seeds and have amazing things grow, then continue watering bad seeds that a bad apple planted.  I have finally let go completely.  As much as I really do not want to spend extra cash that could be going to my savings, it is much better than dealing with a black hole on a daily basis.  I no longer have to answer the phone when he calls, to ensure I speak with him, as now I do not care.  Actions speak louder than words.  Either i will get a notice one day telling me the loan is paid in full, or I will continue paying until I pay it off.   either way, he will no longer effect my credit, my mood or my current relationship.  I will continue to plant good seeds and leave the bad ones for people like him. 

Plant good seeds, water them, tend to them and see your entire outlook on life change!

Day 183- 2012 Quotes are back by popular demand

My sweet friend A.. petitioned to have back her "quotes of the day" from me.  Apparently she was not the only one that missed them.  I have to admit, I kind of did too.  They help start me out the day in a positive light and keep me positive throughout the day as people comment on them.

"Worry is a misuse of imagination".....Dan Zadra

There are so many things you could worry about, but most of them never happen. Worrying about what may come, brings you down.   So focus on what is happening, devise a plan to work through that, instead of worrying about what may come or what you think is happening.   Focus on you and what you can control.  You will be happier and your life with be much more calm!


Yesterdays was "If, at the end of the day, life has been lived, it was a good day."  yesterday was a good day!  Today will be even better!

Enjoy your day as if it were your last!  

Day 182 - 2012 rainy day

I love rainy days when i can be home to enjoy them.. today is not that day.  Toady I have to work and drive home in the rain :(  But my grass is getting water and my AC is not kicking on as much.. SCORE!


Now if only I could curl up on my couch and watch a movie.... hmmmmmmmm

Day 181 - 2012 Happy Day

Wow this week is only Wed and it feels like Friday.  I arrived home after work to find my sweet kitty in the same exact place I left him.  He was weak and just looked so sad. It was breaking my heart to watch him.  He kept wanting to hide. Well I was not letting that happen.  So after I was able to get some Tuna fish juice in him, we crawled into bed.  This made him and me very happy.  He finally fell asleep so I was able to sneak off and shower, and crawl back into bed.  This time for lights out.  It was 7pm.  We slept until around 5am.  Well on and off slept. Every time he moved positions, I woke up to watch him.  Poor B slept on the couch so he would not disturb us.  He said "Chance was all stretched out, and looking comfy I just wanted him to sleep." (awe)  So this morning at 5, I awake to a thump on the floor.  Chance had decided he needed to potty.  I knew he did, he had not gone in at least 24 hours. So we make our way into his small litter box I made for him, where B was sleeping. Well laying there.  Chance used the litter box then sought out the cats milk that was out for him.  Next thing I know, he is back in bed (like jumped up and was waiting for me)  So I crawl in there with him.  B teases him with his treats and Chance bites... and ate his treats.. YAY good sign.  The good signs continued after some more snuggles this time with B and Chance (chance purring away), Chance ate more food, meowed for more.. drank water YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY  he is feeling better.  Head still titled but he is improving and that is all that matters.  I love his meows.  Even if they are loud as can be.  Such a good sign!  So I left for work feeling tired but relieved!

My dear friend C gave birth two her twins early and yesterday was the first day she was strong enough to go see them. so LOTS of good things happening!  YAY for happy days!!!!!

Day 180-2012 sad day

Wow what a night poor kitty. He seemed to be getting better night time came he was sleeping good then decided he wanted to be his independent self. Again good sign. I finally moved to the couch with him in the wee hours of the morning once he did not come back to bed. He was waiting on me and cuddled for hours. I really think he has been having mini strokes. Which makes me so sad. He still do strong and stubborn. He does not seem ready to go and I am certainly not ready for him to go. Hoping doc has better news when we go back in. He is eating tuna and tuna juice. But not his normal food that he screams for every morning and night. That makes me sad. And so sorry I ever denied him his snacks. I am so not ready to say goodbye and really hope I do not have too. At least not this week or month.

So many memories. He had been my one constant in my entire adult life. My heart is breaking. I wish good news. I know he has had a good life. I am just not ready to let go. I always thought I would lose George first. Not my sweet Chance.. Not my cuddle bunny. My tear wiper. The one thing that knows how to make me smile. I'm not ready. Just not :-(

Day 179- 2012 Sick kitty and uber annoying people

Today I woke up to a kitty with his head titled.  As the morning progressed his condition is getting worse and could barely keep his balance. So worried.  Cannot get him into the vet until this afternoon.

Super stressed  over him as he is my baby..... and dealing with such idiotic people today.  It is like they let all the people who cannot think for themselves out of their cages. Some days I just wish people would try to do things themselves instead of asking others to do it for them.  WOO SAAA WOOOO SAAAAA

I know I am just over loaded and my threshold for stress is crumbling.  Trying not to let myself crumble, but it is really hard.   Wish me luck!

Day 178 -2012 N and J day

Part 1 Super excited for today. I get to see one of my besties from high school and have a fun N and J day! I get to show her around my fave places in town. Super super excited.

Part 2 We had soo much fun. We talked, laughed, shopped, ate sushi, window shopped.. giggled more.  It was a fabulous day with such a beautiful person.  I have missed her so much!.  Love that even time apart does not effect our friendship



oooh Part 3.  C had the twins.. the little girl weighed  3.11 and the boy 3.3  but in ICU but mom and twins doing well.   born 8/12 at 11:30pm

Day 177 - 2012 Pushing past the impossible

The only way of finding the limits of the possible is by going beyond them into the impossible.
Arthur C. Clarke (1917 - )

I am of the mindset that nothing is impossible.  It may be hard, difficult, not fun, but definitely not impossible. Sometimes you need to think outside the box in order to push past what you thought was impossible.

One point in our lives, people thought  cars, flying, or space exploration impossible.. now it is possible.  Someone pushed past their limits and made it possible.

These past two weeks with B, have been pretty good.  I mean they could have been much worse. We have worked through some of the growing pains, we have communicated well and we both are growing. I fall more and more in love with him every day.  We now have weekly "date nights" which I am thrilled about.  He came up with it all on his own. He seems to know exactly what to do to make me happy.  He supports me completely.  I would have said 10 years ago that was impossible, yet I have proven that theory wrong.

With work and in life, things seem impossible.  But they rarely are.  Sometimes you need to step back, sometimes walk away, then return with fresh eyes in order to view the problem in a different light and come up with a solution.   I was always taught not to go to my boss for a solution, but to bring them a solution.  It astonishes me how so many people do not think the same way. They feel like their boss should tell them what to do, instead of them taking the initiative and showing their boss they are not a trained monkey. If something is wrong, do not go to your boss with the issue unless you can give them a solution. Otherwise you just appear to be the complainer in the group and well no one wants to be that person (at least I do not.. been there.. got the t-shirt, was not so fun).


I saw someone post this and it made me giggle and sad.. as it is so true.  Our new generation asks "what do I get?" instead of "what can I give?"  It is a sad state of affairs that we have such selfish people in the world now.

Get out there and make something you thought was impossible.. POSSIBLE!  You have it in you, you just have to dig down and find it.  NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE!

Day 176 - 2012 Shaking my head kinda day

Today has already been an interesting day and it is 9:49 am.. CRAZY!..
I started the day off with snuggles with my fave boys.  Then day 2 of Insanity videos.  WOW hard core for sure.  Excited to see the transformation I will have in the next 59 days. I am sore already so YAY it is working.

Then work happened.  I have been talked to rudely in person and via email. I have been asked so you said "xyz" is that true.. yes.. why else would I say it?  I do not go around lying to people.  crazy concept I know but true.   Working around lunch schedules.  I love love love the people who are considerate of others also needing to go to lunch. Yes we are not in high school, but we do need to cover phones and such, so it is nice when you work with considerate people, especially when some are not as considerate. I mean if 2 of us can manage... 5 of us surely can, right?

Then I feel bad, as we have two people who get talked about a lot.  Nothing bad, and really it is of their own making.  They have a secret relationship that is not so secret, yet they seem to think it is.  I feel bad, because I know they feel like others are talking about them.  In reality it is true they are, but not maliciously.  I do not think one person thinks that them being together is bad.  I think most people are just super annoyed at being lied too.  If they are that deceptive with that, what else are they lying about, seems to be the consensus.  I shake my head as I type this, as I want to pull them both aside and tell them.  But is it my place?  I was flat out lied too over what they each were doing for vacation (every time they go on vacation conveniently during the same exact time).  Now either you think I am the dumbest person alive, or you think you are so smart that no one else knows.  But do not lie to me. Do not tell me you are "camping" alone.  When you are clearly not.  I do not care what you do on your own time, but I do care that I am lied too.  I have been lied too enough for this lifetime and do not respect anyone who lies to me even if there is a good reason for it. Really there is no good reason for it at this point.  To me the fact you are lying to be means you are either ashamed, or do not trust me.  They seem to  avoid me and   I in return avoid talking to them both as I do not want to be lied too.  My filter is starting to get holes in it and before long I am just going to spew out tons of thoughts that should stay in my head. I hate that two people that I was so close too, have alienated me.  My feelings are hurt and I really have a hard time looking them in the eyes. It is harder and harder every day to be nice to them.  That is not me.  I like to like people. I like to be nice (unless I am grumpy, then I totally warn you to stay away or I just do not talk to anyone).  But for the most part, I like people. I want to want to like you. I want to do nice things for you. But when I am alienated, lied too and I hear that you talk about me and everyone else behind their backs, it is hard for me to be nice. When my past mistakes get thrown in my face over and over even after a LONG time has past, that annoys me.  I have moved forward, why can you not.  Everyone makes mistakes, everyone annoys others, everyone needs to improve on themselves.  Some of us figure out  earlier than others, and some never do.  I am lucky enough that I figured it out.  I am sorry for ever hurting someone, but I also forgave myself for being that girl and moved forward.  I cannot continue to look back as my future is not written, my past is.  In my future I can learn from my past, but not dwell in my past. So I hope they come out of the closet too, and hope that they do make each other happy, as they both seem miserable and I hate that.  But I think he is what she needed, someone to pay attention to her, want to be around her and to make her feel special.  I think she is what he needed.  Someone who likes to take care of others, who wants to make someone feel special, laugh at their jokes etc.  Make him less lazy.  I just wish they would again come out of the closet for lack of a better turn.

Until then I will keep shaking my head at today and people. I feel like I live in a soap opera.. it is like Camp Days of our Lives.  Without the cloning of people and such.

Day 175 - 2012 Insanity

Today is D day.. today is the day I do my Insanity fit test and tomorrow is the day I begin my regime. I am so freaking excited.
This is the fit test: http://www.decidetostayfit.com/insanity-fit-test-card.pdf

Hope I do well but excited to see how far I will go in 15 days :D

Wish me luck!

Day 174 2012 Home Skin remedies

Day 173 - 2012 Lies, Changes and moving forward

Life brings you tons of changes.  You can either go with the flow, and hope the changes help you become a better you or you can decide to resist the changes and stay the same. No one really likes change.  Change means learning new things, and sometimes having to leave behind things you love in hopes that the changes bring you something better.

Lots of changes have been happening in my life.  Some are a little scary.  Some are making me change my happy little life in hopes that the life with be even happier.  That is a hard one for me.  I love my life the way it is, and some of the changes/compromises are hard to swallow. I am one that resists change when I feel like things are going good.  Though lately the change is due to something even better happening, soooooo I suck it up and change.

I am also reminded of what happens when people do not grasp on to changes.  I was reminded this weekend that  a person who I thought was my friend, really is not.  She pretends to be my friend but when it comes down to it, I am really not a friend to her.  She constantly lies to me and talks about me behind my back.  Now I have made a lot of changes since we were close.  I have stopped drinking (she has not). I have stopped partying (she has not).  I have worked hard and taken on extra things to get promoted (her job is stagnant).  I am able to tell people about my relationship (she hides hers).  I lost weight by working out and watching what I eat (she has not).   The list goes on and on.  I hate that we are not close.  I hate that I am past the point of wanting to confront her, since I feel like I cannot trust her anyway.   I hear about what all she says about me, and others.  I hear things from her mouth what  I know are lies and think "wow when did she become that person?"  When really, she probably was that person all along, I just never saw it. I am not even sure if she realizes she does it.  I was her once.  I would gossip thinking no one was getting hurt, when I was told but someone that what i was doing was in fact hurting people.  It took a lot to change, but I did it so that I would not longer hurt people or be thought of as the person who talks about people behind their back.  My stance is now, there is nothing I will say that I will not say to your face.  That way I know I will never be put in a bad spot. I try to filter things now, (yes I know crazy).   I miss my friend and the laughs/good times that have been shared, but I also know sometimes change is good.  Maybe me changing and her not was the change needed for me to see those things and to let go.  Still not easy to do.  I still wish and hope she will come around.  I still cling to some small hope that she will see the light.

Changes happen.. lies will always come from peoples mouths, you can either accept and move forward or resist and cling to what was..... I chose to move forward.. what will you choose?

Day 172 - 2012 Wedding Weekend

Excited for a very busy weekend.  Not the busy part so much, but all the celebrations.  Today is my little niece in towns 1st birthday.  So excited to be spending tomorrow morning celebrating her!  She has grown into such a sweet, cute bubbly personality, smart, beautiful baby. I cannot wait to see what the next year holds for her.

I start tomorrow off by volunteering with Junior League!  Then head to the beach for the birthday celebrations. Then get to head to GA for a fun wedding of a dear friend who deserves all the happiness she is feeling at the moment.

Now am I excited for my day to be completely filled.. a boy who is none so thrilled taht he will be dragged along and put on display.. ehhhh not so much. But am super excited for all the happiness, fun and laughter that will be shared tomorrow!

Here is to a completely packed, emotionally charged, giving back, fun weekend!

Day 171 - 2012 Hate and Tolerance

Lately there has been a little issue with a certain company, that I honestly believe was used as a marketing tool to get customers in the door. This company's CEO is very anti gay marriage.  He has stated he supports the “the biblical definition of the family unit.”  Everyone has a right to support what they will.   Gay supporters have called for a boycott of this fast food restaurant.  What happned in return was an apprecaition day was held and this store broke records for the amount of sales.  Now if you want to go particiate and wait in those long lines, that is your choice. 

What is not alright is the hate some of these people who claim to be Christians have been spewing out of their mouths.  Who cares if you do not agree with the way someone lives their life?  it is THEIR life.  You are not going to make them un-gay just because you eat at a restaurant.  You are not going to make them un-gay but not allowing them to get married. 

Seriously people, is your life so bad or so perfect that you now have to mess with others.  Mind your own business.  If you do not like something then do not do or or participate in it, but let others live the way they want too if they are not hurting anyone.  Gay marriage is not hurting you or your marriage.  In fact most gay couples stay together longer than straight couples.  In fact the bible that you are preaching about Gay marriage not being a biblical family uniit,  doesnt believe in divorce either.  Yet the divorce rate in the US is the highest in ALL of the world and 50% of marriages end in divorce... hmmmmmmm. Maybe straight people should look at themselves before casting stones upon others.      It does state in the bible not to cast stones.. doesn't it?  These so called christians are why people shy away from the church and organized religion.  These people are why, others would just rather live a good life, take in the teachings of amazing men like Jesus and Buddha and try to live their lives by believing in karma and doing unto others as they would want to be done to themselves. If your god could talk to you, do you think he would agree with how some of these people are acting?  I think he would be disgusted. I think he would tell you to love one another and stop being so hateful and judgmental.    I honestly hope some of these hate spewing "Christians" end up with children who are gay.  That would teach them love and acceptance of others.   Why can we not be tolerant of others, mind our own business, stop gossiping (another sin that most "christians" ignore) and just be nice and accepting of those who are different.  Hate is evil.  Stop worrying about others and just live your life and let others live theirs.  Justice and Freedom for all!

Day 170 - 2012 Perspective

Perspective is a funny thing.  Depending on your day, mood and surroundings, your perspective can change, even.  One day you can look at a glass and say "this is half full"  then the next day see the same glass, in the same exact condition and say "this glass is half empty".  So many things can effect our perspective.  The funny thing about perspective, is it is our own. We own it.  We decide how we will perceive something and how we will react to that perception.

When disappointments in life happen, it is hard to see the good.  It is hard to pull yourself out of that funk and see that everything happens for a reason.  It is hard to find a reason to be happy.  It is all your perspective and sometimes you are so close to the situation to see that, even though something hurts at the moment, that the pain will ease.  That situation, helps you be the person you  will become.  It helps you deal with things, you may not have wanted to deal with but had too.   Life is full of disappointments, and life also teaches you how to deal with them, if you step back and get perspective in a slightly different light.

I know for me personally, I would not be who I am, had I not gone through disappointments and learned how to overcome them.  Things I have had to deal with have taught me patience, love, forgiveness, not to sweat the small stuff, to smile more, how to make me happy, how not to vent (venting is bad for me, it makes me relive things over and over again.... and that is no good), and more many many more lessons.  My favorite lesson is how to make me happy.  Yes I have my bad days, but I also have learned to recognize those bad days and how to pull myself out of those days.  It breaks my heart to see friends go through life's disappointments and not be able to pull themselves out, not to see the bigger picture.  I want to help I want to make things right, but I have to be patient and just be there for them as they learn how to pull themselves out with a new perspective on their situation.

Everything comes back to perception, reaction and you.  Change your perception and reaction and you change you and your outlook on life.  Good luck, as it is a difficult journey but also worth trying!



"Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough” 
― Oprah Winfrey

“What you see and what you hear depends a great deal on where you are standing. It also depends on what sort of person you are.” 
― C.S. Lewis, The Magician's Nephew

“Life is 10 percent what you make it
and 90 percent how you take it.” 
― Irving Berlin

“Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.” 
― Wayne W. Dyer


“To change ourselves effectively, we first had to change our perceptions.” 
― Stephen R. Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People