Today has already been an interesting day and it is 9:49 am.. CRAZY!..
I started the day off with snuggles with my fave boys. Then day 2 of Insanity videos. WOW hard core for sure. Excited to see the transformation I will have in the next 59 days. I am sore already so YAY it is working.
Then work happened. I have been talked to rudely in person and via email. I have been asked so you said "xyz" is that true.. yes.. why else would I say it? I do not go around lying to people. crazy concept I know but true. Working around lunch schedules. I love love love the people who are considerate of others also needing to go to lunch. Yes we are not in high school, but we do need to cover phones and such, so it is nice when you work with considerate people, especially when some are not as considerate. I mean if 2 of us can manage... 5 of us surely can, right?
Then I feel bad, as we have two people who get talked about a lot. Nothing bad, and really it is of their own making. They have a secret relationship that is not so secret, yet they seem to think it is. I feel bad, because I know they feel like others are talking about them. In reality it is true they are, but not maliciously. I do not think one person thinks that them being together is bad. I think most people are just super annoyed at being lied too. If they are that deceptive with that, what else are they lying about, seems to be the consensus. I shake my head as I type this, as I want to pull them both aside and tell them. But is it my place? I was flat out lied too over what they each were doing for vacation (every time they go on vacation conveniently during the same exact time). Now either you think I am the dumbest person alive, or you think you are so smart that no one else knows. But do not lie to me. Do not tell me you are "camping" alone. When you are clearly not. I do not care what you do on your own time, but I do care that I am lied too. I have been lied too enough for this lifetime and do not respect anyone who lies to me even if there is a good reason for it. Really there is no good reason for it at this point. To me the fact you are lying to be means you are either ashamed, or do not trust me. They seem to avoid me and I in return avoid talking to them both as I do not want to be lied too. My filter is starting to get holes in it and before long I am just going to spew out tons of thoughts that should stay in my head. I hate that two people that I was so close too, have alienated me. My feelings are hurt and I really have a hard time looking them in the eyes. It is harder and harder every day to be nice to them. That is not me. I like to like people. I like to be nice (unless I am grumpy, then I totally warn you to stay away or I just do not talk to anyone). But for the most part, I like people. I want to want to like you. I want to do nice things for you. But when I am alienated, lied too and I hear that you talk about me and everyone else behind their backs, it is hard for me to be nice. When my past mistakes get thrown in my face over and over even after a LONG time has past, that annoys me. I have moved forward, why can you not. Everyone makes mistakes, everyone annoys others, everyone needs to improve on themselves. Some of us figure out earlier than others, and some never do. I am lucky enough that I figured it out. I am sorry for ever hurting someone, but I also forgave myself for being that girl and moved forward. I cannot continue to look back as my future is not written, my past is. In my future I can learn from my past, but not dwell in my past. So I hope they come out of the closet too, and hope that they do make each other happy, as they both seem miserable and I hate that. But I think he is what she needed, someone to pay attention to her, want to be around her and to make her feel special. I think she is what he needed. Someone who likes to take care of others, who wants to make someone feel special, laugh at their jokes etc. Make him less lazy. I just wish they would again come out of the closet for lack of a better turn.
Until then I will keep shaking my head at today and people. I feel like I live in a soap opera.. it is like Camp Days of our Lives. Without the cloning of people and such.
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