"Every thought is a seed. If you plant crab apples, don't count on harvesting Golden Delicious" ..... Dan Zadra
Every thought leads to an action. Whether it just effects your mood, or the next move you make. I have been struggling with this. I have been wishing.. thinking.. whatever, bad thoughts about Goober. He still is not paying his loan we are co-signed on and is not responding, and is lying to his mom that he has paid it. I am not angry but I am thinking ill things toward him.. or was. Last night it literally slapped me in the face that I need to change my thoughts and plant new seeds. He has become a very scummy person, worse than I have seen ever. He just keeps spiraling down this dark dark hole. I definitely do not want to be dragged down the hole. So last night I am talking with my roomie A.... saying I wish bad things upon him (not nice I know) and crash cat food went everywhere. She said, "uh oh.. stop saying bad things.. karma bit you immediately." I was lke I know, but he "blah blah blah more bad thoughts." and bammmm crash, something I put up on a shelf fell and hit me and made another mess. So during this conversation I must have dropped multiple things each time a bad thought came to mind. So my lesson was, stop thinking bad thoughts and bad things will stop happening to you. So I changed my attitude, looked deep within me and as much as I hate rewarding his bad behavior by paying his student loan, I would rather pay it and cease contact with him until the loan is paid and I can sue him, than to continue contacting him on a daily basis. He was bringing bad juju my way and I cannot let that happen at all. I have an amazing man in my life who is willing to help pick up the slack or a loser ex. I am not going to let Goober spoil what I have, so this morning I sent an email letting him know I was done dealing with his immature irresponsible self and good luck in life. I cannot make him be a better person and he definitely does not want to be a better person or even a decent person. Not sure why he fell so far down a hole but wow what a hole he has fallen in.
I would rather plant good seeds and have amazing things grow, then continue watering bad seeds that a bad apple planted. I have finally let go completely. As much as I really do not want to spend extra cash that could be going to my savings, it is much better than dealing with a black hole on a daily basis. I no longer have to answer the phone when he calls, to ensure I speak with him, as now I do not care. Actions speak louder than words. Either i will get a notice one day telling me the loan is paid in full, or I will continue paying until I pay it off. either way, he will no longer effect my credit, my mood or my current relationship. I will continue to plant good seeds and leave the bad ones for people like him.
Plant good seeds, water them, tend to them and see your entire outlook on life change!
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