High Maintenance Friends, you know the ones. Always upset when you do not call them regularly. When you do call, they are short, snappy, try to make you feel bad for not calling them.
They always want to help which is so sweet but if you do not need help they get offended. Everything is super urgent with them. They need something and need it NOW. They could easily do something themselves, like cook a recipe, pick up something from the store, but ask you to help them instead, even if they have way more time than you do.
They tend to hold on to the past and are happy to throw things up in your face, things you thought were done and have passed. They talk, and talk and talk. They tell you the same stories over and over. They gossip about everything they hear, what people do and anyone that is negative, yet they do the same. They feel important when they know all of the information, even if it seems very insignificant to most others. They want to be your venting board, because they want to know the gossip. Even if you do share, they ask tons of questions that you may not know the answer too and then get very frustrated when you do not know. They will even tell people you get defensive when you really just do not know the answer. They are very very obsessed with details that quite frankly do not mean much to others.
They are very very high strung, always on the go, always need a project, and are very rarely satisfied. They are very vocal about their dissatisfaction and are quick to tell you how they would fix it.
They care too much about what others think, which leads to a very dissatisfied life. Due to this they seek out the approval, and attention of others to try to fill that void, which leads back to dissatisfaction.
They do not like others taking control, they like to be in control.
They mean well, they really do. But goodness they are exhausting. If your tone changes, they think something is wrong, if you do not text or call back asap they think something is wrong. everything has to have a hidden meaning to them, even when there isn't one. They project how they feel on how you should be feeling or what they think you are feeling when they are completely wrong. If you try to tell them that, they think something else is wrong. EXHAUSTING.
Don't get me wrong, they are some of the most kindest, hardest working, most giving people you will ever come across. They do not mean to annoy the crap out of their friends. They really just want to know everything and share everything, help out, and be a huge part of your life.
It is best if you give them tasks to do, ask for help when you can. If you can remember and have time to call regularly even if it is to say "was thinking of you when i saw this" it goes a long way. keep visits/calls to a min time to keep you from feeling drained. If you can, drop off a gift, food etc randomly so they feel loved. Thank them when you can, they love that! If you have the time, and the bandwidth, they really are great people to be friends with.
Unfortunately, for me, I have cut out a lot of really good people from my life that are high maintenance and I just do not have time to keep up with their daily drama, their neediness, and their constant drain on me. Makes me sad. Very sad when i think about it. But I have to take care of me, and I started realizing that dealing with this type of personality drags me down into a dark place. I can only do so much and the constant negative neediness, drains the positive out of me. I need that positive outlook to be a good wife and mother, so they had to go. What is even sadder, is they do not realize when you are gone. They move on to someone else who needs them at that time and who will listen, be there, and let them talk on and on. Once they drain that person the move on to the next and so on.
I like low maintenance. I like that if i don't talk to my best friend in months, that we still pick up like nothing has changed. We do not need to know the daily ins and outs of our lives but are good with being there for the big things. We stay positive for each other. We lift each other up. We do not get mad if we miss a phone call or don't hear back after a "ill call you later" it is okay. life goes on, life is busy, especially if you have small kids. For me, i do not like to gossip, i do not need to know what is happening with others. I have enough to handle with me. If someone needs to call me to talk about themselves I am all ears but please do not call to tell me about susie Q and how she is cheating on her husband. That is her business not mine, not yours, hers. I like to live my life worrying about me, my son, loving others, treating others how i want to be treated, volunteering, being positive, being happy, working out and just living life to the fullest without worries of pleasing others, as i will never be able to please everyone.
Whether you are low or high maintenance, remember everyone has a full plate, be kind, be loving and be patient!
