Life.. its a funny little thing

As a time of year rolls around that most people look forward too. A once found memory for me has now been reduced to sadness, and a memory of failure. Where did the wrong turn happen? Or was it the right turn that will bring something better and more fabulous along? How do I know I can take a jump again. Into that black whole if uncertainty... how does anyone just jump after their heart has been broken? How do you recover from that? When do you know when the person who will never make you cry has come along?

It is scary to jump. It is scary to let people in. But is one's life not complete without a partner? Does one need to be apart of a twosome to be one?

I would like to think that we live well as one and another can only make us better. I feel complete and I am single. I was happy but really do the good times out weigh the bad, when the bad times are so bad. I loved him.. but he didn't love himself. I love myself. I am proud of myself. I try to be a good person, I work hard, I am a good friend.. and I have wonderful family, friends and furbabies. What more could a girl ask for? All happens when it should. No need to rush, no need to regret. Each step makes us who we are. If we took a wrong turn, there is still time to take the right one. Just have to be patient. Have to be happy with you. Once you are good. Then great things will happen!

Mondays

Mondays are always in interesting day. It is always crazy busy which makes things interesting, but then things get added to an already busy day then your boss wonders why cant all of this get done.. hello you have me working at a 200mph pace for like 6 months with the occasional pit stop but for the most part I am exhausted and really have no motivation to work harder than I already am. Really people.. not going to happen..

Plus not feeling up to par either. Working 7 days a week kind of sucks. Even though it could be worse.

I have an over flux of boys and it is kind of stressing me out a bit too. I just want one that I like as much as they like me. Not sure why its always one person likes the other more.. and by more I mean very apparent... but all are nice so its hard. I like it when things fall into my lap when it comes to relationships.. but maybe that hasnt worked so well for me lately so hmmm.. guess I should try for something new

Welcome to my life.. funny I have been getting caught up with some old friends and remembering some fun times.. god I was wild in my younger years.. how did i make it this far and still be alive and not in jail.. Maybe that is why Goober and I were so good together.. we both are good people.. just like to have fun. Funny thing is we have fun together without needing to party. He will end up the old single guy because he will never want to "settle down" grass is always greener on the other side until you wake up one day and realize everyone else has found someone and you are alone.

Is it bad to hold out for my "Mr. Big" The guy that sweeps you off your feet. That electric pulse that goes through you making you weak in your knees.. now Goober and I have that.. maybe he is my "Big" or maybe he was just the one to make me realize my "Big" is out there.

I do know I don't want someone who wants to push my buttons in the bad way, or always wants to pull out my worst.. I want someone who always wants me to be happy and wants to see my best and wants to help me be a better person. I am not settling for less. I want romance and love and my prince on a white horse...

I also realize I think its all about me.. I have always worked on this but its getting bad again... and I know why.. that's the sad part ;(

Good news for those who care.. I have a few guys in the mix.. some I like, some I love, and some well they really don't have a chance..but are soo sweet. One I love we have dated off and on since we were 19 or 20 years ago.. but we are always in different cities but oh how i love him not in love.. just love as in love him as friends. a great guy .. we have some much fun together, so much history but never can manage to date longer than 6 months at a time.. we have never been "in love" just love hanging out and being together.. maybe if we were in the same city things would be different but life had different plans for us.. maybe one day timing will work out.. or maybe he will be one of those great friends I will be able to keep for life..

I have enjoyed catching up with one of my oldest friends. Its funny how someone can go out of your life but you miss them, and when they come back its like they never left makes me smile

ok done for today

Great birthday weekend

OY I think I am too old to stay up until the sun rises two nights in a row.. Good times.. good times.. Friday night was a blast.. Sandy Lee relaxed and was able to let loose. Old friends came by and some closure was had... peeps didn't want to wake saturday am and I slept for only about 2 or 3 hours before I woke and left everyone else asleep. I slept a bit in the afternoon before heading to Leah's dirty thirty party.. Beer pong, flip cup were among the festivities. We taught the little ones how to play.. they will be a hit in college one day. Ended the night hanging out with friends laughing about old times and facebook stalking.. haha got to love facebook stalking.. wow the world has changed since college. All we wanted was to have fun live for the night, now we think too much and laugh too little.. well not all of us. Some just had babies or are about to have a baby.. some just got married, some broke up with their fiances/boyfriends/girlfriends.. lots change in a couple of years.. lots will change in the next couple of years. Loves will be had, loves will be lost and life will happen and if we blink it may pass us by.. I don't want it to pass, I want to live it.. love it and always have a smile on my face. I have the best friends and I don't ever want that to change. I am a lucky girl.. a very lucky girl

xoxo

Boy meets Girl

Boy meets girl
Boy and girl have fun together
Boy and girl cook at each other's houses
Girl was impressed boy helped clean up.
Boy flirts with girl
Girl flirts with boy
Boy and girl become good friends
Boy and girl hang out most days
Boy likes kissing girl.. girl likes kissing boy
Boy falls for girl
Girl falls for boy
Boy and girl get scared and run for their lives
Boy and girl try again
Boy and girl are inseparable most days
Boy and girl become best friends
Boy moves in with girl.
Boy has job.
Boy has boy weekends
Girl has girl weekends
Boy and Girl get along really well and respect each other
Boy and girl laugh together
Girl pushes boy to be best he can be.
Boy makes girl want to strive for perfection
Girl enjoys being with boy
Boy always tells girl how beautiful she is
Girl believes in boy
Boy does not believe in himself
Boy helps clean
Boy helps fix things around the house
Boy and girl have their issues but....
Boy and Girl are happy and have lots of fun
Girl meets boys family and falls in love
Boy meets girls family and is welcomed with open arms
Boy proposes (Girl doesn’t know boy didn’t buy ring himself)
Boys drunken nights haltered
Boy no longer woke up on floor in boxers by dog food bowl
Boy no longer got in fights in the middle of downtown
Boy still cleans
Girl put up with a lot but she loves boy (for some reason)
Boy looses job, can’t find another steady job.
Girl supports boy for 6 months while boy goes to school
Girl doesn't mind but wishes boy would try harder
Boy in beginning tries to find a job, and helps clean the house and does stuff around the house
Boy has job here and there but nothing steady
One day Boy stops trying to help and clean
Girl starts nagging
Girl has to tell boy to brush teeth most days
Boy calls girl his wife most days
Girl feels like boys mom most days
Boy starts staying out late drinking again
Boy sleeps until 10-11 am everyday, while girls goes to work at 8
Boy says school schedule is why he cannot find job.
Girl asks boy to please find job.. anything.. just something, even $50 a week would help.
Boy and girl stop going out due to lack of funds
Boy starts going to the farm to “work”.
Boy wrecks 4 wheeler and looses phone all in one weekend. But is "working"
Boy gets Girl nothing for birthday
Boy was supposed to be gone to parents while Girl has girl night for her birthday.
Boy lies and says he will be gone an hour and a half and shows up at home after girl gets home from girls night.. oh yeah 14 hours later DRUNK.....
Girl very drunk from girls night, looses it.. threw a mac.. boy bends down and mac hits boy in head..
boy moves out as girl is trying to keep him in the house.. by hanging off of him around his neck. holding his neck, holding his leg. crying a bunch and yes girl bit him a few or more times..
Girl loves boy and just wants boy to listen and communicate.. but boy just does not listen.. or want to communicate EVER.. its easier to run away.
Boy never follows through either
Then boy asks for ring back.. girl tells him to get F#$% out of her house.. not ever thinking it was over, but so hurt by him.
Boy cannot forgive girl, girl says she is sorry and even says she will not drink.. even though it was a scheduled girls night out.
Boy says girl tried to kill him
Girl says “hello its my mac.. I would never try to hurt it I was trying to get your attention you leaned down and the mac happened to hit you stop exaggerating, if I was trying to kill you then you would be dead or in the hospital.. Girl didn’t even make boy bleed.. boy is wimp”
Boy told girl he thought he was ready but isn’t, then runs home to mommy and daddy yet again
Boy then started talking to girls on myspace prior to every breaking off the engagement..
Boy changed his status to single.. and girl found out and cut off cell phone she was paying for after she gave him chance to pay his half.
Boy finally emails girl a one paragraph emailing after close to 2 years saying the girl deserves better..
Boy continues to ignore girl and not face her. Girl even had to take boys mom boys stuff as boy does not face things.. typical boy...
Boys parents are sweet to girl, makes girl feel good but sad also
Boy makes it clear he is moving on.
Girl tries to moves on...
Boy erases all pics of him and girl.. probably trying to forget the love of his life
Girl wants to cherish the fond memories.. not the bad
Girl wishes boy the best!
Girl knows she does deserve better
Boy needs to grow up
Boy needs to love himself
Girl has fabulous family and friends!
Girl is happy by herself
Girl is successful, cute and funny
Girl is glad she's fabulous
Girl hearts her friends big time
Girl also hearts Tom and Betty's
Girl hearts her furbabies
Girl heart life!

OMG I am tired

I love the fact I am never bored at work. I just wish it wasnt so mentally exhausting. I feel like I ran a marathon with my brain...

Had a great conversation tonight. I felt bad I kept spacing. Oy Vey... At least the week is almost over and I can relax this weekend. Even have a date Friday night so that is exciting :)

Have a fabulous day!