Be a decent human

Be kind.  

Be a decent human.  

Treat others how you want to be treated.  

Things that come out of my mouth daily.  Sadly it’s not always my kids I am saying this too. No I have to say it to grown adults who apparently missed manners classes.  Now don’t get me wrong. I do say them to my kids. It cracks up my husband when I say, “be a decent human” to our 3 & 5 year olds. But I feel these lessons need to start early in life. 

Both my lovies, are sweet, kind, generous, and empathetic.  It makes my heart happy to watch them helping others or each other.  But they have a mean streak too.  So sometimes I have to remind them of manners.  It’s my job to teach them and sometimes remind them of their manners and to be a decent human.   

In a world where technology seems to be overtaking every aspect of life. We as a society have grown less empathetic, less patient, less hands on.  We used to learn from our parents how to grow food, make and repair things. We didn’t hire someone to build a fence, we did it.  We didn’t hire someone to fix the car, my daddy did it.  Then we stop teaching basic life skills. We stopped being honest and started being politically correct.  We stopped getting to know our neighbors in person and opt to stalk them online.  We stopped being kind to others. We stopped being patient. We stopped treating others regardless of their job or where they live  the same way we wanted to be treated. And a whole bunch of us just stopped being decent humans.  It’s easy to get caught up in what others have or just wanting to be selfish. I get it.  But where technology and material things fill your life, you become devoid of empathy.  Empathy keeps us human.   Empathy makes us want to treat others kindly empathy helps us be decent humans who are patient and kind.  

I urge you to take a step back and be a decent human. Be kind to others. Leave sweet notes or pay for someone behind you in line. Smile and say hi.  Sometimes just being seen by a friendly face can make someone’s day   Please go out in the world and spread kindness!  

Love

Jamie 

Day 122

Today, since it is the holidays and i am love love love giving gifts (much better than getting them). I asked everyone to share a fave gift they gave someone.  There were a lot of good responses. There are some truly kind people out there.    My fave gift that I gave this year is chalkboard wine glasses. I sprayed the bottoms of wine glasses with chalkboard paint and put a piece of chalk and gave to my fave wine drinking friends.  So stinking cute!  I had fun doing them and picking out the glasses for each person.

Oh and as I was writing I came across this and just thought, wow so true!

Great advice on this site: http://www.divinecaroline.com/22065/35337-wants

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.

If he doesn’t want you, nothing can make him stay.

Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.

Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.

Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that’s not meant to be.

Slower is better.

Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.

If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve; then heck no, you can’t "be friends." A friend wouldn’t mistreat a friend.

Don’t settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.

Don’t stay because you think "it will get better." You’ll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.

The only person you can control in a relationship is you.

Avoid men who’ve got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn’t marry them when he got them pregnant, Why would he treat you any differently?

Always have your own set of friends separate from his.

Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.

If something bothers you, speak up.

Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.

You cannot change a man’s behavior. Change comes from within.

Don’t EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.

Never let a man define who you are.

Never borrow someone else’s man. Oh Lord!  If he cheated with you, he’ll cheat on you. 

A man will only treat you the way you allow him to treat you.

All men are not dogs.

You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two-way street.

You need time to heal between relationships...There is nothing cute about baggage. Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.

You should never look for someone to complete you. A relationship consists of two whole individuals. Look for someone complimentary, not supplementary.

Dating is fun; even if he doesn’t turn out to be Mr. Right.

Make him miss you sometimes. When a man always know where you are, and you’re always readily available to him—he takes it for granted.

Don’t fully commit to a man who doesn’t give you everything that you need.

Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

Share this with other ladies.

You’ll make someone smile, another rethink her choices, and another woman prepare.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate

them, a day to love them, and an entire lifetime to forget them.

Day 121

"Accept others for who they are as well as where they are in life.   Sometimes there is a back story you do not know about. Try to respect them for who they are and get to know them.  You may just find a friend for life!"

This one gets me sometimes.  You see that girl walk in where tight tight clothes fat rolls hanging out, looking like she just walked out of People of Wal-Mart photos.  I want to judge.  I do.  I know it is wrong. I totally do!  But I really really really want to judge.  I want to make fun of them.  Which is WRONG.   I want to walk up and say "really do you not have a mirror or friends?"  But before i act and judge tooo much, I remember, I have NO idea what is going on in their life.  They could be homeless or just lost everything in a fire.  You just never know.  It is best to not judge a book by it's cover. This person could have an amazing story and touch your life for the better. Why is it so hard to just be nice?    I know this is one I will always struggle with (as i really do not like most people)  but am happy to say I am slowly winning the battle with myself!  Some days that is.  At the moment not so much!  One day at a time..............................................................

Day 120

"A hero is someone who makes a positive difference in someone else’s life.  Why not strive to be someone's hero today?"

How awesome would the world be if everyone tried to make a positive difference in others lives?  So many people are so selfish they cannot see past "what is in it for me?" way of thinking. Close your eyes (well after reading this) and imagine a world where others are helpful, less impatient, say nice things and are dependable.

If people were nicer, then I would want to get out of my nice comfy bed and warm snuggly animals to face the world.  As it stands now, my faith in humanity decreases a little every day.  Then some days my faith is restored by my amazing friends.   I was just sent a text that said  that i was a beautiful person that my daily posts makes this one friend smile and sometimes cry and to never change who I am. That I am beautiful inside and out.   I will admit that made me a little teary. I try to be a good person I really do.  Sometimes I fail but I never stop trying.  So thanks to that special friend who made my morning.  You know who you are ;)

When you think kind thoughts about someone.  Share it with them. I promise you will make their day!  And really what is better than making someone's day?

Day 119

"Sooner or later, you just want to be around the people who make you smile. Cannot wait for all the smiles that I will see this weekend! Have a great one Ya'll :D"


I love making people smile and I love to smile.  Someone asked me if I was ok today, that my FB posts seemed down.  I am like I am fabulous.  My posts are to help others see things in a good positive light.   I love it when I can make a difference  in one persons life. ONE.. that is all I need to know that i helped someone else.  It makes me happy to help others and if random thoughts help, then YAY!!!!  that is a win in my book!.. 


Get out there and smile.  Your smile is contagious!

Day 118

"Living a life of honesty creates  a sense of peace.  Feeling that peace is priceless.
Don’t be dishonest and don’t put up with people who are."

I will be fairly blunt... I have no use for people who lie to me.  Why bother?  I am not a weak girl who cannot handle the truth.  I would rather hear the truth than have someone lie to me.  The dishonesty and lack of trust in me, is what hurts.  Liars think they can get away with things, that the truth will not be known, or that at least when the truth is known they will be far away from the fall out.  They are immature cowards and are not worth your time or energy.  Cut these energy leaches out of your life.   It will make you a much happier person.  Let them hang out with other liars and cowards.  Let them have friends who let them down as much as they let their friends down.  Me?  I would much rather have friends I can count on and I do.  I have managed to weed out the bad eggs to leave room for people who care as much as I do.  Wouldn't the world be a much better place if we all just treated others the way we want to be treated?  I think it would. I would love to live in that kind of world :)

Have a great day peeps!

day 117

"If you live your life consumed by the past, you waste the amazing moments you still have left to live!"


So many people look back and wonder, "what if?"  Or what could I have done differently.  NOTHING!  Whatever happened, happened because you made a choice, and that choice lead you off a beaten path.  Not the wrong one necessarily, but an off path that has brought you to where you are today.  If you do not like where you are, then keep walking.  You will get to your path by not giving up.  Even if giving up seems like the right choice, it never is.  You may need to move directions, but just doing nothing is never the right answer. Even if it is something you really want to do.  But if you are always looking back, how can you look forward?  How can you enjoy the possibilities that are in front of you?  Enjoy the new experiences that may come.   Will there be bumps?  YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!  But you can over come them, knowing you will be looking down the road for some less bumpiness!

Day 116

"Not getting what you want (even if it doesn't feel like it at the time) is sometimes an amazing stroke of good luck."


Lately I have been thinking about life.   Thinking about things i wanted but that did not actually work out so well.  I always thought I would be married by 23, starting kids by 27.  Well luckily that did not happen.  I would have not married the right person  and would not have been mature enough to handle kids.  I am finally to the point where I know I could handle it but yet again life throws me curve balls.  I am a firm believer in things happen for a reason. Keep your eyes, ears and heart open and good things will come.  I may never get the chance to be a mom, but I can be the best Aunt my nieces have ever seen!  Sometimes things you really want, are just not meant to be.  It is okay, and it is okay to grieve, just remember there  is something way better waiting for you out there.  You just have to be open to it!

Day 115

"Good memories help make bad ones seem very insignificant! I hope everyone makes some amazing memories this weekend!"


This morning as I drove to work, I had a flash back of a very good and let's say private memory.  The memory had J in it and made me smile a HUGE smile.  I could smell and feel him by closing my eyes. I cannot wait to make more memories with him.  Those small memories become bigger as they erase the bad ones that try to come to mind.  I am getting really good and bringing forth good memories when bad ones try to creep in.  The bad ones no longer in my fore thoughts. I can push them back, by remembering good ones.  Don't think it is possible?  Try it.  Next time a bad one creeps up, close your eyes and fight for a good memory.  Remember the way you felt, smelled, looked, drink it all in.  After a while, you will be able to summon those  thoughts without much effort at all. 


Go make some amazing memories!  Much love to all!  

Day 114

"Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."

I am a big believer in karma and the universe.  I know it is not what I am "supposed to " believe in.  I was raised in a good christian home. But  went to school and did not eat the books. I opened up myself to learn to listen to be aware.  I see karma happen daily.  I see things happen that cannot be explained (hence the universe).  Whether it be losing keys, to find them to breaking up with a love to be able to have a bigger love.  Every thing happens for a reason.  Whether that reason was a bad choice that you needed to learn from or an amazingly good choice that you made.  I am working on making those good choices.  But one thing i have learned is sometimes things you thought were good dissolve and there is always something better to come along at least that happens for me.  But it also comes with making right choices and just trying to be a good person.

I had an amazing time with my bestie last night.  Made her a yummy  birthday dinner which made her happy.  It was nice to see her smile!  I miss her smile!  She has not been smiling so much lately, so to see her smile was good.  She is the first roommate that after a year I have not wanted to kill :) YAY for that!  Plus it has been fun to feel like we were back in college.  I decorated her door full of fun happy birthday and feel good stuff.  Had Grumpy and I not ended, I would not have had this time with her.  I would be unhappily married without my bestie around.  I would not trade a minute of this past year!  It has been amazing and has helped me grow so  much as a person!  I love who we both have become and how we keep growing together!  No regrets!  Something better always comes along.. this past year proved that :)

Day 113

"I like believing by making one person smile, that it may just change the world!"


I am all smiles lately, not sure if this is due to J or me just being in a really good place.  I think it is just me.  I mean I like J, but he needs to work on communicating.  Though it does make me smile when he texts unexpectedly.  But even without a text i am a happy girl.  I am smiling and enjoying meeting new people and all the possibilities that life has to offer.   They all may not be happy times but i can make the best out of the situation.  I have no plan for my life, which is a little scary, but at the same time, refreshing.  it is nice just to live and not plan or think ahead.  What happens, happens.  I have opened my life to the universe and all that it has to offer me.   Life is a journey.  Minus well make the most of it!  Plus I have some really good  people in my life!   Smile often, smiles are contagious!  

Day 112

"Laughter is the best medicine for stress & life in general. Find humor in whatever situation you are in, laugh at yourself and with friends often!"


I know I have said this before and in different ways, but laughter is really the best medicine.  If you feel yucky, laughing helps, down?  Laugh!  Sad? Laugh!  Stressed?  Laugh!  Your endorphin's kick in, your body belts with noise, a shake moves through your body and you smile.  Smile big and real.  When you are laughing  you are happy. Really who does not want to be happy?  I mean I know there are some who just like being angry and having something to talk about whether it is good or bad.  But they have issues i cannot fix.  I do know I love a good laugh.  Any person who can make me laugh is alright in my book!




on a very big side note.  Pandora is making me super happy this morning with my mix!  Helping me wake up!


Ok so today, tell a joke or laugh for no reason!  I promise you will feel better, if  you just relax and LAUGH!

Day 111

"Take time to get to know others before judging them.  Too often we judge people on too little information. Instead of judging someone based on what they do or where they are in their life, figure out why they do what they do and how they got to where they are.  More than likely your orginal assumption was wrong."

This is one that gets me time and time again.  I hear people making assumptions about others without any basis other than "they think they are right", rather than get to know someone.  Just because someone is dressed a certain way, doesn't make them a bad person.  I have a friend that by looking at him, you would think he did not shower, had bad poor hygiene, was not so smart and maybe even a little slow. In reality, he has hormone issues, which cause some of the hygiene issues.. he actually does shower, he is one of the smartest people  I know and has a heart the size of Texas  But if you just looked at him.  You would get none of that.

Sometimes people are too close to situation to take a step back and look at the situation objectively.  They get defensive when no defense needs to be taken.  Someone once told me that,  "a  sign of a good leader was a person who could keep a stone face in the worst of times and never show weakness by letting others know they were hurt".  That is hard.  It is hard to be called names or told you cannot do something without feeling hurt, anger and a variety of other emotions.  I become more and more like stone faced for lack of better words, every day.  I try to not judge those who are giving me feedback, and listen.  Learn, grow become a better me.  I like that I am slowly letting go of the judgmental, defensive Jamie and am opening my mind to a whole new world and a whole new me.   It is hard to be objective and not take things personally.  But unless it is in my personal life, I really try to leave my ego at the door.  I definitely like my life better when I do that.

I struggle on this one.  If i am around others who do not judge, i tend to not judge, if I am around those who do, it is a struggle not too follow the herd.  Looks like it may be time to clean house again and purge out some negative folks.   I have such a want to help and assist other in any aspect of life they need help in.  Makes me sad, when I cannot help. If everyone just gave others a chance, were more open less judgmental, we all would be happier.      perfect world... does not exist ;(  that makes me sad.  But I will not give up the dream.  At least one day I hope to be surrounded by others who want the same!

Day 110

"Being open-minded is the key to gain more knowledge. With knowledge comes acceptance and happiness. If you want to know more about the world and others, you have to keep an open mind; give people and things a chance! Once you open your mind, you open your world to a WHOLE bunch of possibilities! Happy Friday Ya'll"


So many people are SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO closed minded.  Why can we not all just get along.  Why does it have to be one way or the other?  Why can we just not respect others and their point of view?  Why can we just not see where things take us, instead of running before they start? 


Everyone says I am well rounded.  I used to not be.  I used to be close minded.  Once I opened up my mind, soo many possibilities came through.  I found that i had things in common with people from all walks of life.  I found that just because someone looks a certain way, does not mean they act a certain way.  I have learned that no love comes to you without putting yourself out there.  You cannot let the possibilities of getting hurt stop you from at least trying.  I would rather have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.  I have been hurt.  Very badly.  But I also do not think you can truly love someone, without knowing that hurt or loss.  I think (and maybe I am wrong) but I think that you love more deeply and appreciate the other person more, when you know how it feels to be completely crushed.  I am sometimes envious of those who have never been hurt, until I remember that without that hurt, I would not be as giving as i am now.  I would not realize what it means to treat someone the way I want to be treated.  I know that if I find that true love. I will give them everything, even if it means they may hurt me.   I would rather believe they will not and that we can make each other extremely happy, then dwell on the what if's.  I would rather keep my mind open to the possibility that they will never hurt me the way I have been hurt in the past.  I would rather show them that I am their #1 fan and will always be even if we disagree.  I want that.  I will  next except less than that.  


Life would be soo much better, if everyone just opened their minds, gave a little more to others and just be nice!  I hope everyone has a great day and keeps their minds open to what may and could come!

Day 109

"Mistakes teach you important lessons. Each time you make one, you are closer to your goal. The only mistake that can truly hurt you is choosing to do nothing simply because you are too scared to make a mistake."


I see so many people say they do not want to do something because they are afraid.  Afraid of hurting others, afraid to hurt themselves, afraid to fail.   But if you do nothing, you will never grow and never growing is boring.  Try new things, talk to random people. 


If you are single,  date people you never would have normally just to see.  Worst case you get a psycho that makes for fun stories, best you get a life long partner.   Whenever someone says "I do not want to hurt you" I think, I am a big girl.  Who is to say I will not hurt you?  but if it feels right, why not try?  Why not hang out with someone that makes you laugh and feel good?"  Sure you could get hurt, but you could also wind up with a best friend for life. 


  For those that are married.  Never stop trying.  never give up and take your love for granted.  You made it through the hard part of meeting that special someone.  Now keep it up!  Go out of your safe zone and do things your partner wants to try. You might love it and it will only strengthen your bond.  One of my fave couples.  He is not a runner, but his wife loves doing 5k's so he trains with her every day and runs slowly because she wants too and it is his way of supporting her.   It is amazing to see them together and just as much in love as they were 20 years ago. 


In work, ask for new projects, come up with new ideas.  Get out of your comfort zone.  It will make you more marketable and teach you things.  I take on more and more new tasks, because I get bored with monotony.  I like challenging myself even when I fail.  I learn why I failed and try to do it better next time.  As I never see failing as a bad thing.


Get out there make mistakes.. take a chance.. grow into an amazing you! 

Day 108

"Never regret. If it’s good, it’s amazing. If it’s bad, it’s experience."

Every experience, every choice, everything that you do makes you who you are.  Did you make a bad choice?  no worries.. it made you who you are and hopefully you learned your lesson.  Did you smile back at that cute person who smiled at you?  That is amazing!  Why not smile back?  Doesn't matter if it goes  further. It made you feel good.  Life is nothing but a bunch of choices and experiences.  You can make the most and learn from everything you do and experience, good or bad.  Or you can dwell and be negative and regret everything, run though every choices and wonder what if?  What if... is that your life would be COMPLETELY different.  You would not be you. You would not be where you are.  Now if you look and say, " I am a sucky person I regret  xyz"  Ok then go ahead regret, but then  move forward.  Know that you can become a better person if you want.  You just have to want it.

I recently had an old friend say,"I sometimes wonder what would have happened had I waited for you"  My response was simple.  " You and I would never have worked back then.  We were different people.  I am who i am today because we took different paths.  And never regret, you have two amazing children due to your path."  I meant that.  I am a completely different person than I was at 15, 20, 25 and even 30.  (Now I am aging myself)  But truly, I have learned from each experience.  I have experienced so much and seen so much. I am such a better person because of my experiences. People ask me if I regretted getting engaged to Goober.  And no I do not.  He taught me to realize how strong I am.  I am so much stronger than I ever thought I was.  He taught me communication is sooooo important in any relationship.  He taught me that I know I can make it through the teen years through dealing with him.  He helped make me the happy person I am today, because I did not want to be that grumpy person he was.  I did not want that life.  So no I do not regret that.  Every long relationship I have had, has taught me something.  I am a better because of them.  I know who I am and what I want.  So do not regret, learn, embrace and become the best you because of those experiences!

Love this!

Day 107

"Embrace change. As uncomfortable as it is sometimes, change allows us to grow. New things feel awkward and sometimes really scary, but those feelings go away, and you are left with something bigger and amazing in your life."

As scary as change is.. it almost always brings me peace and happiness.  Even if that happiness does not last, it happened.  It changed who I am.  It made me a different and hopefully better person.  I had a conversation with a friend last night about being scared after being hurt so badly by a spouse.  Just because the past person was not so nice, does not mean the next person will be the same way. Sometimes you just need to go with the flow and see where it takes you.  Sometimes just opening up yourself to new things, brings amazing things.  Am I scared of getting hurt in new relationships? yes of course.  There is one in particular that if I think about I tear up.  Not because I do not like this person, but because I do and I think about the possibilities  of getting hurt.  But if I dwell on it, I will never know if amazing things could happen. Remembering to take each day and just enjoy it helps me not dwell on the what if's.  No one likes to hurt others.  Well most people do not.  Sometimes it happens. But sometimes.. sometimes.. it does not.  So do not go through life scared and afraid to try.  But instead open yourself up and see what may come!

Day 104

"Develop an attitude of gratitude. Count all of your blessings, even the things that seem trivial. Be grateful for your home, your work and most importantly (at least to me) your family and friends. Take the time to tell them that you are happy they are in your life! ♥ you guys!"



I love love love love my friends and family. I know I know I say this often but to me, you can never say it enough. Who does not love hearing they are awesome and appreciated? Not me! I love hearing my friends say they love me and i love telling them I love them. AS for work yes some days I let the stress get to me. But I work with some pretty fabulous people who love me despite of me. I have a cute little house that is mine and well the banks. Some fairly awesome pets who make me feel like I am the sun in their world. Do not believe what people say. Life is good! You just have to open your eyes and look around!

Day 103

"Either you’re going to take action and seize new opportunities or someone else will. You can’t change anything or make any sort of progress by sitting back and thinking about it."



It is funny some days I just wish my only worry was how fast it will take to straighten up my house and what I am cooking for my family for dinner. When did that dream life go away? When did my wanting to be an independent hard working woman happen? I must have wanted it right? That is where I ended up. I was not the sit at home kind of girl nor would I have appreciated what all it had I gotten what I wanted. I seized opportunities to be successful. It feels good knowing I can. I will always know I did not settle. I am glad that every day I think about being happy and do my best to make sure i am. I wake up smiling and go to sleep smiling. During the day I falter, but I at least go to sleep with a smile on my face, which is better than most people. I do know sitting and doing nothing will ensure you definitely do not move forward. I would much rather do than do nothing :)



And lately with dating, i feel the same way. I feel like boys have become complacent. That girls can come to them. But is that really the girls you want? The easy girls.. maybe.. but I am not easy nor will i ever be. I like a challenge so i give a challenge. I feel like nothing is worth keeping if it did not have a little work involved. I love feeling special and i love making someone feel special.



So make your decision and work for it. I know I will be!

Day 102

"Good looks attracts the eyes. Personality attracts the heart. If she's amazing, she won't be easy. If she's easy, she won't be amazing. If she's worth it, you won't give up. If you give up, you're not worthy."




So lately I have heard lots of people complain about boys who say they like them but they just do not put forth the effort. No one is a mind reader. if you want her, let her know. Make the effort. A girl should not be the one asking the boy out. Woo her show her she is special. Make her feel like she is the only one and she will treat you that way in return. Do not just say things, do things. Ask her out, make time to spend with her, especially when she tells you she wants to see you. Make it happen. If you need guidance watch Millionaire matchmaker. She will totally school you in the ways of making girls feel special. And really if you have a happy girl who knows you care and feels how special you think she is, the right one will make you feel that same way back. But if you do not put forth the effort. She knows you are not worthy of hers!