Day 110

"Being open-minded is the key to gain more knowledge. With knowledge comes acceptance and happiness. If you want to know more about the world and others, you have to keep an open mind; give people and things a chance! Once you open your mind, you open your world to a WHOLE bunch of possibilities! Happy Friday Ya'll"


So many people are SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO closed minded.  Why can we not all just get along.  Why does it have to be one way or the other?  Why can we just not respect others and their point of view?  Why can we just not see where things take us, instead of running before they start? 


Everyone says I am well rounded.  I used to not be.  I used to be close minded.  Once I opened up my mind, soo many possibilities came through.  I found that i had things in common with people from all walks of life.  I found that just because someone looks a certain way, does not mean they act a certain way.  I have learned that no love comes to you without putting yourself out there.  You cannot let the possibilities of getting hurt stop you from at least trying.  I would rather have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.  I have been hurt.  Very badly.  But I also do not think you can truly love someone, without knowing that hurt or loss.  I think (and maybe I am wrong) but I think that you love more deeply and appreciate the other person more, when you know how it feels to be completely crushed.  I am sometimes envious of those who have never been hurt, until I remember that without that hurt, I would not be as giving as i am now.  I would not realize what it means to treat someone the way I want to be treated.  I know that if I find that true love. I will give them everything, even if it means they may hurt me.   I would rather believe they will not and that we can make each other extremely happy, then dwell on the what if's.  I would rather keep my mind open to the possibility that they will never hurt me the way I have been hurt in the past.  I would rather show them that I am their #1 fan and will always be even if we disagree.  I want that.  I will  next except less than that.  


Life would be soo much better, if everyone just opened their minds, gave a little more to others and just be nice!  I hope everyone has a great day and keeps their minds open to what may and could come!

Day 59

Need a smile? Look through old photos and enjoy the memories each brings :)


I did that this weekend. it was amazing to be able to look back and remember such fun times. I have amazing friends and each one brings something different to the table. There are those like SB who share every detail of his life, P who is constantly juggling girls and making me giggle, A, C and C who are funny girls and make me laugh daily and have for years. Wow at the years, photos and memories we have made. W who is ridiculously in love and wants everyone else to be too!

so look through those photos and smile :)

Day 48

Wow so much has happened since my birthday. First my birthday celebration was fabulous. Even though I did not want to do much, my friends of course made sure I did and had a great time ta-boot! I am doing a beach photo shoot in a few weeks. I am super excited.

I have gotten so in shape and it feels amazing! I know there are haters out there, but that is ok. I have worked my A$$ off to get back down to this weight and I am super proud of me. I have shown so much restraint and determination. Plus the no drinking has made me realize I was completely a binge drinker. I may not drink everyday, though some weeks I did.. but regardless i could never have just one. I liked getting trashed (I know I am not supposed to admit that) but it is fun to hang out with your friends and drink and laugh and get stupid. And oh did we get stupid. Stupid choices, stupid sayings, stupidness. Maybe that is what is wrong with today's youth. They are always looking for the next party. The next fun thing to do. But I digress, back to me :)

So finally I get to see where things may go with DW. He is funny, geeking, cute and most importantly we have had this ongoing crush/flirting thing for 4 years. So the other night I choose him over CK. I know unheard of, because CK is oh so yummy. But i thought why not. We had so much fun as always, until he tried to sleep with me, I said no and of course the next day he is "too hungover to go to lunch" Whateves. he can only express his feeling when he has had a few to drink. I need someone who is confident and happy with himself.. which leads me to the next story (sorry this is so long)

So that next day I spend with CK (shocker I know) but he makes me feel sexy and wanted. Plus the sexual tension just gets thicker and thicker and he is super hot. Still no kissing or anything like that. it is comfy, we hang out, we laugh, we shower, we nap, we talk, we play scrabble, we watch tv, we argue over not arguing (LOL, tis true.. he literally argued over me not being mad when he thought i was.. quite a fun convo), i help him shave his head, we just are us. We are sober, and us. We are smart asses and say the funniest crap but most importantly we are us. He loves himself, I love myself. We are good for each other. I can only hope that this mounting frustration will lead to a fabulous time one day in bed that will not be just sleeping :) Until that day comes, i will enjoy our friendship and the sexual tension it brings. 20 years crushing on someone is a great love story, if that love story ends well. If not it will still be one for the books, one that i can look back on and remember the feeling I feel when he looks at me, or talks to me or is even near me. I will always remember that beautiful sexy feeling i have. I can only hope that the person I marry makes me feel EXACTLY like that everyday of my life.

And now time to go to work :) YAY

Have a fabulous day ya'll!