For those of you that know me, I am a fairly crunchy Mama. Never thought I would do a few things before I had my child, but once I had him, some of my preconceived notions changed.
One of those items was co-sleeping. My husband and I had discussed this pre-baby and both agreed, the baby belongs in their own crib. We were good with them being in the bassinet until they were ready for the crib, but the crib was where he would go.
We followed this for awhile, kinda. When we brought him home from the hospital, it was cold.. I mean like the coldest months of the year and we live in a 1924 house with no insulation. So our little started out in his bassinet, in the warmest swaddle blankets we could find, and even covered part of the bassinet with blankets trying to keep the warmth in. At one point we even added a heating pad to the end of the bassinet to aid with heat. We even around 3 am when it was super cold, would let him sleep face up on my chest (I sleep on my back and do not roll over, plus a very light sleeper) My parents were sweet and bought a stand up heater for us and that definitely helped. Our room was finally warm. We started the night out great, the baby would sleep in the bassinet, sometimes he and I would fall asleep while he was eating, but again I never rolled over, and he just laid on my chest. I never fed him on my side, when he was that young. I was almost on my back and he laid on top of me. He at 2 weeks would lift his head. It was crazy. For naps, he just napped on my chest while I watched tv or wrapped him up to get things done. For the most part at night, though, he stayed in the bassinet right next to me. The only issue was he never could self sooth, because I would grab him as soon as he made a sound so that my husband would not wake. Around 8 weeks, we moved him to his crib and he did sooo good. He woke every 3-4 hours to eat then went right back to sleep. We felt so lucky. When we went to my parents, he slept in the pack and play in "his" room. We were plugging right along with our plans. Then the little and I went on vacation, where we had to fly and had no pack in play. He was 6 months and he could roll around, was crawling, sitting up, and had some weight on him. While on vacation, we co-slept. Co-slept in a queen bed and a twin bed. It went really really well and Mama and baby got used to getting a lot of sleep, since I didn't have to get up to get him to feed him. When we got back home after that week, we tried to go back into the crib but it was rough. So about once a week my husband would sleep on the couch so that the baby and I could have the bed, since he did not trust himself not to roll over too much. By month 8, one night a week was more like 6 to 7 nights a week. Month 10, we added the bed rail and the baby sleeps against the rail and me, so my husband can come to bed when he wants too. The baby has his own baby pillow, our bed is harder (not memory foam), we have a thin blanket, we do not smoke, just my pillow and my husbands and any time I wake, I check him to make sure nothing is covering his mouth/nose. He is 21 lbs now and pushes me over in the bed. Still every time he moves, I wake to check on him. He still feeds on top of me, or with his head cradled on my arm while drinking.
Today I wake to see in my Facebook feed this woman with a 3 month old who decided to co-sleep, fell asleep while side feeding her baby, and woke, but her baby never did. He suffocated more than likely. It broke my heart. I cried and cried, as I could never imagine going through that pain. As I write this my 10 month old is asleep on my chest and the thought of losing him, because we co-slept and I accidentally suffocated him makes me want to throw up. My sister has co-slept with both her girls, and one time when the youngest was a few days old, she was in the recliner with her, and fell asleep, woke up to the baby between her and the recliner, she has not idea how she didn't suffocate. That scared her so badly she only slept in the bed with the baby from that point on. As she had nothing in the bed for her to suffocate on but her. Most babies suffocate from sleeping with someone in recliners and couches as they have sides and non breathable material, so NEVER sleep with your baby there!!
We all make choices that we think are the right things to do for us and our family. We do not know the circumstances of this woman who so tragically lost her baby. What I do know is that you have choices. You can co-sleep by using a co-sleeper, a bassinet or crib with the side down, you can bed share and make sure you do not have anything the baby could suffocate on and enough room for you both to move around.Some doctors are pro co-sleeping, as you can check on your baby easier. Others are against it for the suffocating reason.
You can never co-sleep, and use monitors to track breathing and heart beats to ensure you wake quickly in case the baby stops breathing. Though from all I hear about SIDS, even if the child is in your arms, if they are pre-disposed to SIDS, there is not anything you will be able to do. We have the angel monitor which really is our peace of mind from ours not breathing and that thing goes off and scares the piss out of me. Or wait until yours is much older (over 6 months) to co-sleep where they can roll over on their own and push you, blankets, pillows etc out of the way.
Here is a good article about SIDS and co-sleeping: Does Co Sleeping Lead to SIDS? - HealthyChild.
Unfortunately you can do all the "right" things, and still something tragic can happen. Do your research, trust your gut and be safe!
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