Sometimes I look back on you and am very thankful for how far I have come. Everyone once in awhile you seep out at the most inopportune times. I do not miss always needing to be the center of attention, being the constant gossip queen to ensure everyone knew I knew all, the one upping people, interrupting people as they talked, not liking or respecting myself and being a terrible friend. I love that I now love myself even on my bad days, that I walk away from idle gossip as I really do not want to carry the burden of others secrets, that I truly want to help others for them, with nothing in return, that I can sit back and listen to a conversation and learn about others, that I shy away from things that make me the center of attention, that I love with a open heart, that I work hard for things and do not expect others to do it for me.
I do not miss the trouble you got me in, the people I hurt, the reputation I received, the so called fun times that I had, the not being able to stop, even when I knew I was doing the wrong thing. I am thankful for the person I am today and glad I learned how to break free from you. I no longer need the things you needed. I am no longer selfish nor a drunk. I do not miss thinking I was "sharing" when I was really gossiping and well gossip hurts that person and me. I do not miss venting to others, as venting only makes me angry and I have learned anger hurts. I do not miss being jealous over silly things like others getting more attention than me, as I no longer need that attention. My attention comes from within. I have learned to be at peace with what I have in life and to let things go. Purging material things is good for my soul. I no longer need them as a status symbol.
I am thankful that I learned from you and now can see your traits in others. When I see those traits, it makes me shy away from those people. I know I should help them and I do want to scream at them what I have learned, but no it is no use. People tried with me for years and it took me waking up and pushing you away before I learned from you and changed myself. Whenever those people try to bring me back into your fold, it makes me sad. I never want to me one with you again. I love feeling at peace. I am thankful for my life and love those who talk about things rather than people. So i try to point out positive things to them, and hope they do not rub off on me. You come out too easily and that scares me. Most people do not see you in their personality. I never want to look in the mirror and see your face.
So thank you for giving me a lifetime of lessons, and thank you for going away. I wish I could say you are missed, but you are not. Please have fun in your new host, and leave me alone!
Sincerely,
J
I do not miss the trouble you got me in, the people I hurt, the reputation I received, the so called fun times that I had, the not being able to stop, even when I knew I was doing the wrong thing. I am thankful for the person I am today and glad I learned how to break free from you. I no longer need the things you needed. I am no longer selfish nor a drunk. I do not miss thinking I was "sharing" when I was really gossiping and well gossip hurts that person and me. I do not miss venting to others, as venting only makes me angry and I have learned anger hurts. I do not miss being jealous over silly things like others getting more attention than me, as I no longer need that attention. My attention comes from within. I have learned to be at peace with what I have in life and to let things go. Purging material things is good for my soul. I no longer need them as a status symbol.
I am thankful that I learned from you and now can see your traits in others. When I see those traits, it makes me shy away from those people. I know I should help them and I do want to scream at them what I have learned, but no it is no use. People tried with me for years and it took me waking up and pushing you away before I learned from you and changed myself. Whenever those people try to bring me back into your fold, it makes me sad. I never want to me one with you again. I love feeling at peace. I am thankful for my life and love those who talk about things rather than people. So i try to point out positive things to them, and hope they do not rub off on me. You come out too easily and that scares me. Most people do not see you in their personality. I never want to look in the mirror and see your face.
So thank you for giving me a lifetime of lessons, and thank you for going away. I wish I could say you are missed, but you are not. Please have fun in your new host, and leave me alone!
Sincerely,
J
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