Day 132 - 2012 Starting over

The thought of starting over in a different city, even if that city is one that I used to live, is terrifying. So many unknowns, what ifs.  Can I do it again?  My entire view of what I thought my life would be like will be different.  My friends that I have made, that are like family, will fade away.  When I left Miami, I left a few amazing friends.  If I leave Jax, I will be leaving a TON of amazing friends. Some that I have yearly birthday rituals with, weekly rituals with. Those that I can count on no matter what I need.   Yes I have some really good friends that are excited for me to be coming back to tally.  Still the thought terrifies me. The starting new friendships, learning the city I once knew, but that has changed so much. Finding and starting a new job. Transferring into the Tally Junior League, and starting new relationships there.  All are frightening prospects.   Even the prospect that B is it for me, that terrifies and excities me all at once.  I know he is scared I will decide it is all not worth it, that it is too much for me. Part of me is scared of the same thing. All of this would be so much easier if I did not have the house. I love my life as it is, the only thing missing is my family and B being closer.  Can I keep my life if I move back? Will I keep going as the person I am or revert back to a person I do not want to be?  B says I will keep going, that I am strong.  Am I?   If I am how strong am I?  Only time will tell.  I have started over many times, so I know I am capable. I have strong support system and am involved with a wonderul organzation that is there to aid me in moving to a new city and becoming involved with those who are like minded.  I am thankful for that.  Plus I will have my family and my love. Really what more could a girl need or want?