My child's obsession with my hair

My eldest is obsessed with my hair.  Really anyone's hair will do but he loves to pull out hair and use it as floss.  Usually we can ask if he wants floss and he will take that in place of the hair he is trying to pull out.  He also likes to twirl my hair as he sleeps or upon waking. It's sweet.  He pulls my head close to his, I can feel his breath and his warmth. It helps me sleep well too!  Sometimes he gently bites my head to get the hair as a joke. This morning a clump came out :-(. I knew this day was coming. I've been looking for it.  Last night my head was itchy and tingly which is a sign that the hair is about to come out. This morning it became more real.  My hair came out easily and without pain. Just a tug and a handful was in my child's mouth.  I cried. My husband comforted me and my child laughed.  I know he loves me for more than my hair but he's always had my hair to play with. It's one more thing he has to lose because of cancer. That makes me sad. I hate how much this effects him   I hate that he lost his ability to nurse and now has to lose twirling my hair. 

Very soon my husband will be shaving my head. I'm going to try hard not to cry but not sure I will get through it without crying.  My sweet sister is going to shave hers too so I do not have to do it alone! I know it won't be forever and at least with no hair anyone who looks at me will know I'm going through treatment for cancer. Though that also brings those heart breaking "I'm sorry" looks especially when I have the baby in my arms.  No one likes to see someone go through cancer but they really don't like seeing a young mom or a child go through it either. It's sad and heart breaking. This illness takes so much from people and those that love them. I hope my boys look back one day and realize how very sorry I am they had to go through this but also will know their mom is a fighter!  Mom is a fighter that will fight to the end to stay with them.  Hair is just hair. My life with them is way more important.  

Guess we will need to find something else for my eldest to twirl. Sweet toddler! My boys and their love definitely lift my spirits and keep me going!

I am their hero! I love that!