Yes I just made up a word. But I did so because sometimes I wonder if people cannot just be content. Not happy not sad just content with your life. It may not be the life you pictured. But it's still yours so why not at least be content if you are not willing to change. Stop making others miserable and just be content.
Some days I wonder about me. I adore L my fillipino. I am happy with him around I love that we talk all day about everything under the sun including our attraction to each other. I am content with how things are. I am content that it goes no farther than high school dating and make out sessions. I am content, because even though I know he would make me an incredibly happy woman. I know we both would have to make way too many sacrifices for it to work long term. Our lives don't mess. And I keep coming back to that. There is the obvious I am white he is not. His family comes from years of heritage and practices completely foreign to me and though I would learn I know my family would not. At least not my dad. Lol. Could you imagine a country boy learning Tagalog or Tagalog culture? So I am content with us for now and await the inevitable " we can't do this anymore ' talk. After 8 plus years I'm not sure I am ready for that. I'm not sure that I can say goodbye. He is one of the most thoughtful, sweet, gentleman I have ever known. He is respectful of boundaries.
I should be content for now and open to happiness. At least I'm not sad and bitter like some people :-)
No comments:
Post a Comment