Day 167 - 2012 Tension

Wow today is filled with tension.  Crazy, you can cut it with a knife.  The old me would have taken it personally.  But I cannot be responsible for others unhappiness.  I can only worry about me and making sure I am in a good place.   These past few weeks have been really trying. I have had to deal with Goober acting like a complete waste of space by ignoring the fact he is making me pay his loan and will not respond to any of my communication attempts.. can we say 5 year old?  That makes most people soooo angry and the old me would have let him get to me. Not this me.. this me is rising above, squashing the anger before it hits the surface. Anger for me is not a good or healthy emotion.  Some people thrive off of it.  It makes me a person I do not want to be. It is like a bad drug.  If I let it surface, it is hard to keep it away. I want to feed it, so it is best for me to squash it, before that happens.  Hey at least I realize it. No one is perfect, and I at least know most of my faults.   Got to look within for change!


I have had to deal with my own team mates not happy that I finally got promoted after 4.5 years or maybe they are just unhappy in general.  Either way, so sorry I have gone up and beyond my job description for all of these years and just not finally got recognized for it.. oh wait.. no I am not sorry. I have worked my butt off for this, so all the tension and dirty looks in the world are not taking this happy feeling away from me.  That is not my problem, but theirs. I have waited patiently, I have continued to keep my head down and work hard.  I had too make up for my horrible attitude during the Goober breakup.  I have well made up for it and proven I can change my attitude and out look on life. Change happens from within and I have done that!

I can let others effect me or I can move forward.  I can look back on who I was and dwell on my past or  I can look back and see how far I come and  be proud of who I am now.  I am proud of me.  I have made lots of changes for the better and love where I am in life. I will not let the tension of others bring me down. I will keep being happy and hopefully my happiness will rub off on others. I can only hope it will happen.  I just know that I did not chase down my happiness.  I worked hard to make changes in me and  because of those changes happiness found me.  I like being happy. I am not willing to give that up!