Day 162 - 2012 Letting go of anger

Letting go of anger is hard to do.  I struggle with this with one particular person in my life.  He is not a nice person.  I am glad i went through the relationship as I would not be the person I am today with out have gone through what i did, however I wish that time had been much shorter and I would have done a  few things different. He still daily tries to make me upset by not paying a bill he should which forces me to come up with the money.  Not nice at all.   He is such a winner that he is in the hills of Cali growing illegal things.  I dodged a bullet there that is for sure.  I am proud of myself as I am able to keep the boiling of anger from rising to the surface.  I start to feel it and I remind myself that he is miserable in his life and I am not going to let him effect mine.  Knowing him makes me more thankful of B every day (OOOOHHH yeah B got transferred  so we will be back in the same city very soon).  I realize that my ex has no ambition, yet he wants money.  He would rather take an easy way out by lying and scheming than working hard.  He knows that others will pick up the slack for him (ie. i will pay his loan as i do not want my credit ruined).  I feel sadness when I think of him.  I feel sadness for the life he has wasted, the lives of others he has wasted, the way he treats his family, i could go on and on.  A complete waste of space.   I am sure someone out there things the world of him, I think he is an idiot.  He wastes chances to be someone. To be a good person, to treat others nicely.  He ruins friendships and really anything he touches.  It is sad to see someone who is just so lethargic to life.  I could very easily be angry at him. Angry of the fact he has pushed me past limits I did not know I have.  He  has pushed me to darkness that I did not know existed. He continues to push my buttons by lying instead of telling the truth.  Lies are one thing I cannot handle. I can handle anything you can throw at me, as long as it is the truth.  The lies are what get the anger boiling.  I have to remember, this is all he knows.  He has always lied to his parents, friends and even himself.  He is his own worst enemy.  I cannot let him have any hold over me.  I am happy to bother him constantly to try to make him pay his loan, but I will not let him make me angry.  I will not let him get to me like that. Anger is a bad emotion that eats away at you.  If you can let it go you free yourself to be so much more than you could have ever imagined while you held on to that anger. I know this is easier said than done.. Trust me I do.  But if I can do this, anyone can. The people you are angry at, will continue to control you if you hold on to that anger.  They are miserable with themselves and made crappy choices.  Let them own their choices and wallow in their self pity.  Do not let them drag you down like an anchor. Rise above it and show them that they cannot get to you. I almost let goober get to me.. almost.. it came, it rose, but i squashed it down like a bug.  I am happy as can be and he is not going to ruin anymore of my life.  He was a hard lesson to learn but I learned it.  Let go of your anger and I promise you will feel so much lighter and freer!