Happy Monday! Thought I'd keep you up to date on my progress since you are a huge part of this journey!
Lil bit came home Saturday night after spending the night with my sister since surgery. Goodness we were happy. Jax and I kept smiles on our faces all night. My heart was full! Probably wasn't my smartest move for my physical health but mental health wise I needed all my loves home under one roof! Waking up to those sweet baby smiles and giggles makes my heart explode and at a time where I feel like I look like Frankenstein's mangled wife, I need them like I need air or water. Since he's been home I feel stronger, able to do more, even if I am overdoing it, and just happier as well as more at peace.
I am still super sore but thankfully barely notice the drain unless someone hits it. I'm also draining way less fluid and it's getting clearer, so I should be able to get this out wed! That will be a happy day as I'll be able to move around without thinking about "will I hurt or hit the drain". Plus showering will be way easier!
I'm thankful for the knitted knockers I have received. (Huge thank you to those who made/secured and got them too me). It's helping with the transition to being flat chested and serves as a cushion from the kids! Win win win!
Y'all it's hard to look down and not see the girls. way harder than I imagined. I'm literally having to fall in love with a new me! I'm a stranger to myself when I look in the mirror naked so when dressed those knitted knockers give me the illusion I'm not mangled. I'm doing good at not wearing them all the time but am thankful I have them for those times I just need to see the lovely lumps when I look down :). Truly do not appreciate some things until they are gone. This journey has taught me to always live every day to its fullest and always try to make a positive impact in the world. Even the darkest situations you can find a light. I know my friend Alicia who just lost her 8 year battle of pancreatic cancer definitely showed me that. Even on her last day on earth, she had a smile on her face and made people smile. I hope she's looking down at me with a proud smile at how I facing this journey. There are times in the middle of the night that I cry and cry. But then I get to snuggle with two sweet boys and the tears fade, especially when the tot kisses my tears! Something about that innocent love that makes everything better!
Hope y'all have a great day and if it's not great, do something nice for someone else, that should make you smile and change the course of your day!
Much love to you all!
Love
Jamie
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