Emotional mess

I am an emotional mess today. I keep seeing pics of women after mastectomy's with the drains super low. I wasn't expecting that. To be honest this whole process is horrible for anyone who is a planner. You do not get the details yoiu need to be prepared. It is a wait and see game. Some drs tell their patients 6 weeks, mine is like 2. I told my boss 4 to make sure I am covered. I am not good with being told what to do anyway, so this process is really hard. I cannot stop crying. My husband wants to be supportive, but he has no idea how to be. He just says "I know"with a look like 'i get it already stop crying' but i cannot. A part of me, two parts of me are going bye bye. I have no say. I do not mind the boobs as much as the lymph nodes. That part freaks me out!  The emotions hit like waves. At least i have the sweet babies to keep me smiling and keep me on my toes. JB has been so stinking sweet with his hugs and kisses and "i'm sorry mama"  " i love you mama"   sweetest sounds ever!