Yesterday we met with my amazing surgeon! We went over what was recommended and what I wanted to do. I shocked him when I said that I did not want reconstruction and wanted to make sure he could stitch me up where I would look Flat and Fabulous and not like I have dog ears for breasts or if I needed a plastic surgeon just to stitch me up. He assured me if i wanted to be flat that he could do it and make it look very nice. It is actually easier on him to do it that way, as he doesn't have to keep skin for the plastic surgeon to do their job. He can take the excess skin on both sides and stitch me up with a straight pretty line. Comically, he let me know if I changed my mind even a few years later I could still do reconstruction with my muscle. I was like, yeah I am okay. I think by that point I will be used to having no boobies. I also told him that I was going to write Thelma and Louise on them and asked him if I had watched the movie. He said, I have seen a bit of it but I will watch it right before surgery so I can get the laugh! As his nurse, my sister and I all laughed about that. His nurse thought it was an amazing idea. She also complimented me on me keeping a positive attitude and not being vain. She said not many women choose to go flat and she thought it was fabulous. I let her know I was very okay with it, as i will not have to worry about bras again! She said, that was worth it!
We will be doing a Left Modified radical mastectomy (left total mastectomy with axillary dissection) (they take the skin, nipple, areola all the breast tissue and the under arm lymph nodes) and Right prophylactic total mastectomy (same as the left except i keep my underarm lymph nodes) on January 5th. Now had you asked me at the beginning of this journey, I would have told you we would be trying to do a breast conserving mastectomy and trying to keep the nipple. But since my left breast lit up like a christmas tree in the MRI, we couldn't go that route for the left, which is why I decided not to go that way for the right. And since we are not reconstruction I did not want them to be uneven. I prefer to be flat and do a cool tattoo over the areas. I won't lie, I will miss the girls. They have been through a lot with me. They fed my babies, which to me is the most amazing thing they did. They provided food and comfort to my babies and still provide comfort to my toddler, who lets me know regularly, "no milk mama" yes sweet boy no milk :( Yesterday I was a hot mess. I cried a lot. It is a piece of me going bye bye. A piece that has meant a lot to me.
I definitely have leaky eyes lately! Everything brings me to tears. It is a lot to take in. I try to be strong but most days I am a hot hot mess! I keep it together in front of the boys! They are my lifesavers!. I am so thankful for a clean house (an angel has been sent to me for this task), the presents, the cards, the food, the stopping by (even some people wayyy out of their way) to come see me and give me hugs, the calls, the texts, the emails, my sweet babies! All have really, really made me a happy girl! I stay wrapped in a big hug, which helps me on the days that I am not strong, and I do not want to get out of bed. Thank you all soooooo much! I never can explain just how much it all means to me! But it really does mean so much!
You all are amazing! Thanks for keeping me wrapped in a big hug!
Have an amazing day!
Much love!
#fightinglikeagirl #wegotthis
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