9/11, sick kids and chemo side effects

 Where were you when the world stopped turning for my generation on 9/11/01? Me I was driving home from a friends house that morning when the news came over the radio. My heart dropped, tears flowed down my eyes. I rushed home to my roommate who was in front of the tv drinking coffee waiting on me to get home. We kept calling our friends who worked in the towers trying to find out if they were okay. Cell towers down. No calls going through. It was crazy and so surreal.  Throughout the day we finally got confirmation our friends and loved ones were okay. That couldn't be said about everyone that day. Lives were changed forever. I hope my kids never have to experience an event like that. But as history shows they probably will. My parents went through the Kennedy assassination, mine 9/11.  

My life changed forever when I got the call "Jamie I'm sorry to say you have cancer", my kids lives, my husbands life, my family and friends, all their lives changed that day too. Currently my kids have to go through watching their mama be sick from chemo eventually they will watch me recover from surgery and possibly go through radiation (though trying to avoid that). 

Today's side effects are a not happy tummy still, nauseousness and being exhausted which is partly due to having two kids running fevers to either side of me.  Happy to report none of us have fevers this morning. I'm sure my cancer nutritionalist would be not happy to know all the antioxidants that I consumed yesterday but I'd rather take my chances that the chemo is doing its job and I'm helping my body fight off this summer cold so I don't end up in the hospital. The tot is still super snotty but all clear!  The baby definitely doesn't feel good and just wants to be held, which I am very happy to oblige as he's super snuggly!  Hoping to get a little sleep today and this nausea under control as well as get more fluids in me, as I thought I was dying of thirst last night.  

I still feel I am lucky. I'm out of bed with little sleep, snuggling with the baby, when I could still be sleeping off these hangover feelings (granted that sounds amazing) but I think having the kids forces me through it so it forces my body to get it out quickly. And I want it gone quickly.  I can't wait for 4 more weeks when I can do a cleanse to get these toxins out of my body!!  For someone who eats healthy, barely drinks alcohol, exercises daily, pumping chemo in my body is still surreal and just nuts! The washing and triple washing all your fruits And veggies to make sure you don't get sick. Nuts! I'm such a healthy person who rarely gets sick yet I got cancer. Still surreal and ever life changing. 

So how am I doing today?  I'm doing well, pushing through and remembering a sad day when my life changed forever and knowing those days of life changing forever as I know it will keep on coming. And I also know, I'll get through it with a smile!  I like my smile and I never want anything, even cancer or hatred of others to take that away from me! Today we smile! 

#fightinglikeagirl #wegotthis #neverforget

#alwayssmile

Love 

~Jamie

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