Ok so i really have no excuse except that I just do not think to always get on the computer or to blog.. its sad really :(
Ok so I went out with T again.. very very very nice guy, he is smart, funny, cute, listens, is a gentleman, brought me more tulips, purple this time. He is absolutely amazing and i think if we were friends then i would eventually have that spark that i need to feel, but as of now it is not there and I hate that i am not attracted romantically.. what is wrong with me? am I only attracted to the jerks or guys who want to be a good men but just are not. One day I hope to get it right. I hope that I just know, the way everyone says you do.. I mean I loved G, I mean really loved him.. but I always knew I was settling a bit. But he could be just so darn sweet, and so clueless, it was like having a child. I loved seeing him light up when he got something or experienced something new. And the way he loved me when he loved me was amazing. He just didnt love me enough. He couldn't stay that good man. It was too much work for him. I want someone who is a good man without trying so hard, as I am a good woman without having to try too hard. I just want to treat my partner the way i would want to be treated. I do extra stuff for them because I would want that. I tell them if I am coming home or not because I would want the same. I just know the right person will come along at the right time. some where the relationship isn't as hard as it was with G. He made things much more difficult than they needed to be. LIfe is too short to be grumpy all the time. LIfe has been good. I have had an occasional tear here or there when i think about the life I was going to have. But as soon as a tear forms, I smile as I realize the life I avoided. I am in a really good spot. I am happy, I am not looking back and wondering what if. I know my decision was the right one. I see him miserable and I am not. I see he made me unhappy due to him being unhappy. I see how a weight has been lifted. I love him, I always will, but I am glad I have moved on. I am glad to be free and dating, glad to be happy. Life is good.. life is really good.
lol sometimes i just sit and laugh at my dogs.. right now the husky is laying in bed on his side with just a little bit of food that he decided needed to be eaten later.. and is eating it piece by piece while still on his side and while watching the lab mix puppy stare at him with jealousy all while the cat lays with his back to all of this pretending the dogs do not exist... too funny
Ok night night..
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