Post 104, 2013 Attitude Change

Today, I have not had the best attitude. I have let others affect me, which is silly. I let my frustration take over my mood and body. I have said things without thinking or putting my normal thought into to make sure it doesn't sound snarky or sarcastic. Today I have not cared. Today I let my frustration come through. I reacted, I did not let things roll off. I am not proud if it but it happened. Now I have to pull myself out of it. And I know I know I am 9 months preggo and hormones are flowing through., That should not be a valid excuse. I still should be able to hold my thoughts, control my actions. I just reached that threshold of stress and instead of calming myself, I allowed myself to bubble over.   Every day, hour, minute and second is another chance to start over. If I fail, it is okay I can start over again. As long as I do not stop trying.. I have not actually failed!

Post 103, 2013 Waiting.. patiently

We are waiting patiently for our sweet bundle of joy to arrive. It has been  fun watching my husband get excited when I start having contractions. Though it is odd seeing him so happy I am in pain. I do understand why, he finally gets to meet this little guy and hold him and feel him. I have been lucky I have, talked to him, loved him, kept him safe, felt him move, annoyed him with my poking and prodding. Though I am very content at the moment with just a few frustrations, I am ready to meet him. I am ready to kiss him and hold him and get no sleep with him. I am ready to watch his personality shine through, see whose features he has and will have. I am ready to help mold him into a responsible, caring, funny young man.

Plus the more I await the more I have time to think about the delivery. I have in my head the way things may go, but i really have no idea. For someone who likes to know and plan, this thought is a little scary. I trust my doctors and I know that we will get through this, no matter what. I have let my husband know if anything goes wrong, save our son before me.  I just want him safe!  So I await patiently   not so patiently at times.. but am trying to be patient. I am remembering my coping techinques and talk to him constantly.

Soon very soon we get to meet our little man! I could not be more thrilled and he could not be more loved

Post 102, 2013 The Sweetest Thing

I turn on the tv and The Sweetest Thing is on. It is one of my ALL time fave movies. Cameron Diaz and Christina Applegate and amazing together. They keep me laughing the entire movie and I really get into the characters.  Probably because I was one of them years ago. The girl with the roommates and the best friends who would do anything to support the other, make each other laugh, dance the night away, help each other make bad but fun decisions. Some days I miss those care free days. No worries, responsibilities, just lived life to the fullest and had fun. It was all about fun.  I over committed, got little sleep, was a horrible employee, looked for love in all the wrong palaces, but I had fun.  

As I was watching the movie I looked back at my former younger self and smile. Smile that even though I did not realize it at the time, while I was having fun, I became friends with my now husband. That, the fun times we had, and the memories we shared, stayed with us both, as life took us in different directions. We both wanted the same thing all those years ago, but were too stubborn to admit it, so we let the other go. I am so thankful that we had those memories and all that fun, so that when we came back into each others life, we were ready for the other. We learned from our former selves and knew what we wanted in the other. What was meant to be happened, when we let go of the reins and let life happen. In some ways the movie depicts our life (minus he was getting married when I met him) though the turning point for us, was at a friends wedding, but we dated, then went on to find others, then made our way back to each other.  That movie not only makes me smile for past memories of my former self and hubby, but of the future ones I have with my husband.   I love that we still have fun and laugh. We have been through many stages of life together and apart but the one thing we kept through it all, is our laughter, love for each other and the wanting to have fun.  Even though our fun is wayyyyy different than it used to be!

Remember to smile and laugh a lot. Life is wayy more fun that way!

Post 101 - Thank you goes far

Lately I have been really amazed that simple manners have seem to have gone out the window. From "Thank you", to "Please" to showing up on time and not on a phone. It is crazy how good manners have become non-existent. A simple thank you may not mean that much to you, but it goes a long ways. It shows you took the time to say or write it, that you appreciate whatever the person did for you and really it makes you seem like a nice person. I recently read an article on this, so I know I am not the only one that gets annoyed with the lack of manners that seem to be happening in this day and age.

So remember the next time someone does something even if it is as small as opening a door or your server bringing you a refill on water, say thank you. It will mean a lot to the person.

Post 100, 2013 Corn Maze Fun

Today B and I took the B girls to the corn maze.  We had so much fun today and made some amazing memories. We played in corn, slid down slides, rode the cow train and went on hayrides (which at 9 months pregnant was probably not my brightest idea) made it through the corn maze, fed goats and pigs, petted bunnies and a horse, and laughed a lot.  The girls were worn out and filthy.  As soon as we got home S showered and we watched movies.  The girls were so thankful and so good.  

I love how much they love me, B and tr baby. It makes my heart smile watching B and S interact.  She cuddles with him while watching tv, they rough house and she adores him.  They both do. I love that they love him!  I am so thankful I got this time with them before the baby comes.  They are growing up so fast and no longer need me the way they used too.  E will now be my babysitter instead of me being hers. It's crazy to think we have come full circle! 

It was a good day filled with amazing memories! 

Post 99, 2013 Walking away

"Feeling bad vibes from a situation or person? Give yourself permission to walk away. No explanation is needed, just trust yourself and what you are feeling. 9 times out of ten (and usually 10 out of 10) you will not be wrong and might just save yourself some heartache or something worse!"  Moi

I have written on something similar to this before but, if you get a bad vibe, walk away. It doesn't matter if it is a party, an interview, or a person, walk away. If you get a bad vibe every time you hang out with someone, do not hang out with them anymore, no explanation is needed, just "sorry I cannot I am busy". They will eventually move on.  If it is a situation, get out of it as soon as there is a way too. You never know what could happen and you are better safe then sorry by walking away. I remember once going in for an interview and I saw a very familiar Rhino head, which is the logo for a pyramid scheme I fell for once. I went up to the receptionist and said, " I am sorry, I am not going to be able to interview, I am sorry for wasting your bosses time, have a great day," and left. I should have trusted my bad vibe before every going in there, but once I saw that I knew I needed to leave, they have a way of sucking you in and I did not want to be apart of that again. I have gone to parties or clubs before where I just got a bad feeling, I left without saying anything, and sure enough every time, after I find out something bad went down. I could have been caught up in that and luckily i was not.   My ex, there was something always off but I just attributed that to me being scared, as I am always scared. I was wrong and should have trusted that feeling as he turned out to be a bad bad person. He put on a great front and I think wanted to be a good person, but he just does not know how not to be a bad selfish person. I would have saved myself a lot of heartache and a lot of money had I just walked away when i had the chance. 

So the moral today is walk away. Doesn't matter what the situation is, if you have a bad feeling, walk away. It really will save you in the long run!  

Post 98, 2013 You cannot fix stupid

This week there has been an overabundance of not so smart things either said to me or done by others that just leaves my head shaking. Now I am not the smartest girl around, I do okay. I do try to think things through before talking or asking a question, or even see if I can use my old trusty friend Mr. Google and find the answer. I really try not to take some of these people and their actions personally, as I think it is just their personality. But some seem to just have started acting like this, which leads me to believe it is personal, as others saw this in their behavior a long time ago and I am just seeing it. Either it is personal or I am just blind.. naive.. whatever.  I do like to see the best in people.  I have tried for weeks even months at this point to be very nice, answer questions and not let them get to me. Today I hit my breaking point and realized I cannot fix stupid or rude people. It is their issue not mine. I need to not take it personally and realize whatever they have going on seems to over take their ability to think for themselves and not be rude to others. I kind of feel bad for them. I never want to be a rude person or a person who cannot think for myself. I want to see my faults so I can work on them. I am not perfect nor will I ever be but at least I know that and can work on being a better person. If you think that you are perfect then you are very wrong and go under the "stupid" category.

Always seek to improve yourself and if multiple people have the same issue with you, let me give you a hint.. it is not them.. it is YOU!