Day 176 - 2012 Shaking my head kinda day

Today has already been an interesting day and it is 9:49 am.. CRAZY!..
I started the day off with snuggles with my fave boys.  Then day 2 of Insanity videos.  WOW hard core for sure.  Excited to see the transformation I will have in the next 59 days. I am sore already so YAY it is working.

Then work happened.  I have been talked to rudely in person and via email. I have been asked so you said "xyz" is that true.. yes.. why else would I say it?  I do not go around lying to people.  crazy concept I know but true.   Working around lunch schedules.  I love love love the people who are considerate of others also needing to go to lunch. Yes we are not in high school, but we do need to cover phones and such, so it is nice when you work with considerate people, especially when some are not as considerate. I mean if 2 of us can manage... 5 of us surely can, right?

Then I feel bad, as we have two people who get talked about a lot.  Nothing bad, and really it is of their own making.  They have a secret relationship that is not so secret, yet they seem to think it is.  I feel bad, because I know they feel like others are talking about them.  In reality it is true they are, but not maliciously.  I do not think one person thinks that them being together is bad.  I think most people are just super annoyed at being lied too.  If they are that deceptive with that, what else are they lying about, seems to be the consensus.  I shake my head as I type this, as I want to pull them both aside and tell them.  But is it my place?  I was flat out lied too over what they each were doing for vacation (every time they go on vacation conveniently during the same exact time).  Now either you think I am the dumbest person alive, or you think you are so smart that no one else knows.  But do not lie to me. Do not tell me you are "camping" alone.  When you are clearly not.  I do not care what you do on your own time, but I do care that I am lied too.  I have been lied too enough for this lifetime and do not respect anyone who lies to me even if there is a good reason for it. Really there is no good reason for it at this point.  To me the fact you are lying to be means you are either ashamed, or do not trust me.  They seem to  avoid me and   I in return avoid talking to them both as I do not want to be lied too.  My filter is starting to get holes in it and before long I am just going to spew out tons of thoughts that should stay in my head. I hate that two people that I was so close too, have alienated me.  My feelings are hurt and I really have a hard time looking them in the eyes. It is harder and harder every day to be nice to them.  That is not me.  I like to like people. I like to be nice (unless I am grumpy, then I totally warn you to stay away or I just do not talk to anyone).  But for the most part, I like people. I want to want to like you. I want to do nice things for you. But when I am alienated, lied too and I hear that you talk about me and everyone else behind their backs, it is hard for me to be nice. When my past mistakes get thrown in my face over and over even after a LONG time has past, that annoys me.  I have moved forward, why can you not.  Everyone makes mistakes, everyone annoys others, everyone needs to improve on themselves.  Some of us figure out  earlier than others, and some never do.  I am lucky enough that I figured it out.  I am sorry for ever hurting someone, but I also forgave myself for being that girl and moved forward.  I cannot continue to look back as my future is not written, my past is.  In my future I can learn from my past, but not dwell in my past. So I hope they come out of the closet too, and hope that they do make each other happy, as they both seem miserable and I hate that.  But I think he is what she needed, someone to pay attention to her, want to be around her and to make her feel special.  I think she is what he needed.  Someone who likes to take care of others, who wants to make someone feel special, laugh at their jokes etc.  Make him less lazy.  I just wish they would again come out of the closet for lack of a better turn.

Until then I will keep shaking my head at today and people. I feel like I live in a soap opera.. it is like Camp Days of our Lives.  Without the cloning of people and such.

Day 175 - 2012 Insanity

Today is D day.. today is the day I do my Insanity fit test and tomorrow is the day I begin my regime. I am so freaking excited.
This is the fit test: http://www.decidetostayfit.com/insanity-fit-test-card.pdf

Hope I do well but excited to see how far I will go in 15 days :D

Wish me luck!

Day 174 2012 Home Skin remedies

Day 173 - 2012 Lies, Changes and moving forward

Life brings you tons of changes.  You can either go with the flow, and hope the changes help you become a better you or you can decide to resist the changes and stay the same. No one really likes change.  Change means learning new things, and sometimes having to leave behind things you love in hopes that the changes bring you something better.

Lots of changes have been happening in my life.  Some are a little scary.  Some are making me change my happy little life in hopes that the life with be even happier.  That is a hard one for me.  I love my life the way it is, and some of the changes/compromises are hard to swallow. I am one that resists change when I feel like things are going good.  Though lately the change is due to something even better happening, soooooo I suck it up and change.

I am also reminded of what happens when people do not grasp on to changes.  I was reminded this weekend that  a person who I thought was my friend, really is not.  She pretends to be my friend but when it comes down to it, I am really not a friend to her.  She constantly lies to me and talks about me behind my back.  Now I have made a lot of changes since we were close.  I have stopped drinking (she has not). I have stopped partying (she has not).  I have worked hard and taken on extra things to get promoted (her job is stagnant).  I am able to tell people about my relationship (she hides hers).  I lost weight by working out and watching what I eat (she has not).   The list goes on and on.  I hate that we are not close.  I hate that I am past the point of wanting to confront her, since I feel like I cannot trust her anyway.   I hear about what all she says about me, and others.  I hear things from her mouth what  I know are lies and think "wow when did she become that person?"  When really, she probably was that person all along, I just never saw it. I am not even sure if she realizes she does it.  I was her once.  I would gossip thinking no one was getting hurt, when I was told but someone that what i was doing was in fact hurting people.  It took a lot to change, but I did it so that I would not longer hurt people or be thought of as the person who talks about people behind their back.  My stance is now, there is nothing I will say that I will not say to your face.  That way I know I will never be put in a bad spot. I try to filter things now, (yes I know crazy).   I miss my friend and the laughs/good times that have been shared, but I also know sometimes change is good.  Maybe me changing and her not was the change needed for me to see those things and to let go.  Still not easy to do.  I still wish and hope she will come around.  I still cling to some small hope that she will see the light.

Changes happen.. lies will always come from peoples mouths, you can either accept and move forward or resist and cling to what was..... I chose to move forward.. what will you choose?

Day 172 - 2012 Wedding Weekend

Excited for a very busy weekend.  Not the busy part so much, but all the celebrations.  Today is my little niece in towns 1st birthday.  So excited to be spending tomorrow morning celebrating her!  She has grown into such a sweet, cute bubbly personality, smart, beautiful baby. I cannot wait to see what the next year holds for her.

I start tomorrow off by volunteering with Junior League!  Then head to the beach for the birthday celebrations. Then get to head to GA for a fun wedding of a dear friend who deserves all the happiness she is feeling at the moment.

Now am I excited for my day to be completely filled.. a boy who is none so thrilled taht he will be dragged along and put on display.. ehhhh not so much. But am super excited for all the happiness, fun and laughter that will be shared tomorrow!

Here is to a completely packed, emotionally charged, giving back, fun weekend!

Day 171 - 2012 Hate and Tolerance

Lately there has been a little issue with a certain company, that I honestly believe was used as a marketing tool to get customers in the door. This company's CEO is very anti gay marriage.  He has stated he supports the “the biblical definition of the family unit.”  Everyone has a right to support what they will.   Gay supporters have called for a boycott of this fast food restaurant.  What happned in return was an apprecaition day was held and this store broke records for the amount of sales.  Now if you want to go particiate and wait in those long lines, that is your choice. 

What is not alright is the hate some of these people who claim to be Christians have been spewing out of their mouths.  Who cares if you do not agree with the way someone lives their life?  it is THEIR life.  You are not going to make them un-gay just because you eat at a restaurant.  You are not going to make them un-gay but not allowing them to get married. 

Seriously people, is your life so bad or so perfect that you now have to mess with others.  Mind your own business.  If you do not like something then do not do or or participate in it, but let others live the way they want too if they are not hurting anyone.  Gay marriage is not hurting you or your marriage.  In fact most gay couples stay together longer than straight couples.  In fact the bible that you are preaching about Gay marriage not being a biblical family uniit,  doesnt believe in divorce either.  Yet the divorce rate in the US is the highest in ALL of the world and 50% of marriages end in divorce... hmmmmmmm. Maybe straight people should look at themselves before casting stones upon others.      It does state in the bible not to cast stones.. doesn't it?  These so called christians are why people shy away from the church and organized religion.  These people are why, others would just rather live a good life, take in the teachings of amazing men like Jesus and Buddha and try to live their lives by believing in karma and doing unto others as they would want to be done to themselves. If your god could talk to you, do you think he would agree with how some of these people are acting?  I think he would be disgusted. I think he would tell you to love one another and stop being so hateful and judgmental.    I honestly hope some of these hate spewing "Christians" end up with children who are gay.  That would teach them love and acceptance of others.   Why can we not be tolerant of others, mind our own business, stop gossiping (another sin that most "christians" ignore) and just be nice and accepting of those who are different.  Hate is evil.  Stop worrying about others and just live your life and let others live theirs.  Justice and Freedom for all!

Day 170 - 2012 Perspective

Perspective is a funny thing.  Depending on your day, mood and surroundings, your perspective can change, even.  One day you can look at a glass and say "this is half full"  then the next day see the same glass, in the same exact condition and say "this glass is half empty".  So many things can effect our perspective.  The funny thing about perspective, is it is our own. We own it.  We decide how we will perceive something and how we will react to that perception.

When disappointments in life happen, it is hard to see the good.  It is hard to pull yourself out of that funk and see that everything happens for a reason.  It is hard to find a reason to be happy.  It is all your perspective and sometimes you are so close to the situation to see that, even though something hurts at the moment, that the pain will ease.  That situation, helps you be the person you  will become.  It helps you deal with things, you may not have wanted to deal with but had too.   Life is full of disappointments, and life also teaches you how to deal with them, if you step back and get perspective in a slightly different light.

I know for me personally, I would not be who I am, had I not gone through disappointments and learned how to overcome them.  Things I have had to deal with have taught me patience, love, forgiveness, not to sweat the small stuff, to smile more, how to make me happy, how not to vent (venting is bad for me, it makes me relive things over and over again.... and that is no good), and more many many more lessons.  My favorite lesson is how to make me happy.  Yes I have my bad days, but I also have learned to recognize those bad days and how to pull myself out of those days.  It breaks my heart to see friends go through life's disappointments and not be able to pull themselves out, not to see the bigger picture.  I want to help I want to make things right, but I have to be patient and just be there for them as they learn how to pull themselves out with a new perspective on their situation.

Everything comes back to perception, reaction and you.  Change your perception and reaction and you change you and your outlook on life.  Good luck, as it is a difficult journey but also worth trying!



"Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough” 
― Oprah Winfrey

“What you see and what you hear depends a great deal on where you are standing. It also depends on what sort of person you are.” 
― C.S. Lewis, The Magician's Nephew

“Life is 10 percent what you make it
and 90 percent how you take it.” 
― Irving Berlin

“Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.” 
― Wayne W. Dyer


“To change ourselves effectively, we first had to change our perceptions.” 
― Stephen R. Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People