Day 14 - 2012

Today, I am obsessing over FB.  I know crazy!!!!!  But I think it is because everyone is realizing I am not there and starting to text or call.  It has been nice to see who has reached out to me.  So my obsessing is more on what I am missing, or pics people post of me that I cannot see. So I may be short lived on this sabbatical.

I just found an all women's mud run.  I may do this.  It looks like fun. http://www.lozilu.com/EventInfo.aspx

And YAY I have friends interested also.  Looks like April 28th is mud run day!  Super super excited

So my quote for the day in honor of me doing something I have wanted to do for years is: "Don't STOP dreaming  START doing!!

Be open to new things. Never give up on your dreams and remember, your friends are there to help you through life!

Day 13 - 2012

Hello MLK holiday morning!  How are you today?  I am just peachy.  I love morning with no traffic.  Even if that means I am working while others are sleeping.  I awoke before my alarm today.  I think it was due to a sweet kitty trying to cuddle.  I should be a little more motivated to work, but not so much today.  I made the mistake of closing my eyes back again.. should have just gotten up. but today my lazy side got the best of me.

I just stumbled across this today:


I love this:

This is so true.  We seem to stop ourselves from believing we can do things, that we really have the ability to do. We are our own worst enemies.  I go through this every time I go run or do a new work out or when i go to judge someone......but especially when ruining.. my brain and I fight.

Sample dialogue:
Wow my body doesn't seem to want to run
Come on Jamie.. just keep pushing.. you can do it.. get to publix
Wow this is ok.. I can keep going.  Make it to S street
Ok I should be tired, I have been running for like 15 mins.
Come on Jamie  4 more blocks.. you can do it
Ok come on.. just a few more.. make it to C street..
whew.. i can stop now
no yoiu can.. just a few  more blocks.. almost done
Run faster.. you can see A street.. come on.. you can do it.. i know your legs are screaming.. keep pushing..push push push.. DONE!!!  walk..


I know you are laughing.. but your mind really does play tricks on you, but you are in charge YOU are.. you just sometimes have to talk yourself into things.  Keep pushing through even if you have a set back or fail.  Even if your lazy or evil brain wins.. remember there will be another fight sooner than you realize.  Just keep pushing until the lazy/evil brain is just a glimmer of sound and your not so lazy/evil brain wins.
Get out there and win your battle today, even if it is a small one.. Conquer your bad/negative/not so nice/i can't do it thoughts.  Each victory helps you realize that you really can do it (win or fail).. if you set your mind to it.  So set your mind to win and do it!  Do it all night long HAHAHAHAHA

Day 12 -2012

What a nice relaxing fun weekend. Friday I got to hang out with old friends and dance dance dance. I laughed and smiled and danced. Saw two friends who both shared how much I mean to them and how I have helped them so much in the past. I loved hearing that after the week I have had. I love how life throws bad and good days. Ups and downs. You truly see how strong you are when you get through the downs. I still find it odd I am not on fb. But have enjoyed seeing who had noticed, not checking it every few minutes and not knowing about today's drama
Last night I was luck enough to hang out with C and J while S. had her PJ party. Omg. Soooo much fun. C out did herself yet again. Breakfast for dinner. Painting pillow cases. Watching movies. And lots of laughter. Oh how I love the laughter of little girls. Ooh and a delicious cake Layered yellow cake with this chocolate Carmel frosting. Wrapped in kitkats topped with m&ms and gum drops. Mmm good and I'm not a sweet girl but this. Reminds me of something my granny would make. Minus the candy of course. It's funny the girls love the candy. C and I love the cake :-). I am thankful they are in my life!

I also met a kid who as much as I hope I am wrong, will be a future psychopath. I felt bad for this kid. I. He seemed lonely and needing of attention. Seems like the kids run their household. When deciding what to draw. He took forever before drawing a bomb going off with the caption 'how to make a bomb'. I hope I am wrong and someone intervenes. But if I am not. I can at I remember when

I have enjoyed cuddle time with my babies and even cleaning the house. Yesterday's run was awesome. Need to go again. I may run to publix then walk home with groceries :-). Either way. I need to get motivated. Tv is sucking me in. I wonder if others get sucked in like me? But I do need to finish watching my dvrd shows so I can cut off cable. I think no cable will equal a more productive Jamie

On that note. Let me get motivated. Even though it's cold, make sure you move around. It will do you body good

Day 11 - 2012

So technically I wrote two blog posts yesterday so this should probably be Day 10.2  but since i am only 2 days behind (much better than last year) I figured saying today was day 11 wasn't tooooo far of a stretch

Today is Friday the 13th.  I love this day.. It does not happen often.  People are afraid of it.  I think 13 is a lucky number not a bad one.  The sun is shining. .it is cold but the sun is out.  The day is fresh and anything could happen.  I get to go see friends play tonight, so that makes me happy.  I am still living even without FB YAY me!  Only one person so far has emailed me to say " what the heck?  Where are you on FB?"  LOL so at least I am kind of missed.  Tough some realized

I had to laugh at myself.  I talk out loud.  I do not care if others are around.  It is something I do.  I do it at home, work,  out in public, in a car.. whatever. I think out loud, that is how i think. I cannot help it. I try to control it, but it is just another thing to control.   I think sometimes that it isn't about growing up as much as just learning how to act appropriately in public. I still struggle with this.  I thought I had learned, but I started to slip back in my immature ways.  I followed the path (sort of) that my parents wanted for me, all except getting married and having kids.  I finished high school, I graduated college.  I started law school, to drop out and have enormous debt, which stresses me out, but I manage, I bought a house I am doing the things I should.  Yet I still do not feel like I am grown.  I feel an overwhelming about of stress that on some days suffocates me. Today is one of those days.  Even in the course of writing this one post the thought of all the stress is slowly over taking me.  Life changes about to happen.. I guess that means I am an adult after all :)

Hope everyone has a great day!

Day 10 -2012

I just deactivated my Facebook account. Not sure how I feel about that. My heart is racing and I am feeling a tad bit nervous. Not sure why. It is Facebook for the love of Pete not the end of the world. I just feel like all that drama that I ran so far from is back. People bitching, fighting and talking shit. Feelings getting hurt it's like the worst part of high school all over again. We shall see how long this will last or if anyone even notices. But for tonight I have to believe life will go on even if I'm not on Facebook

Day 9 - 2012

Today I feel much more in control today. The full moon must be releasing it's grip on my hormones.  I feel less on edge, less wanting to snap people's heads off (though that still seems like it may be fun) and more giggly and talkative (which may not be a good thing at work) .  Running last night helped but the laughs shared with J and M are what really helped.  I laughed and laughed and laughed.  My cheeks hurt, my stomach hurt and I left their house tired, but without the negative energy.  I got home and A wanted to talk and I brushed her off.  Felt bad, but if I had relived my day, I would have been right back in that bad place.  I would much rather, just shower and go to bed then relive the bad. Some people feel the need to share and I was one of those people.  But soon I started to realize that sharing just made me more angry or hurt.  Just like sharing happy thoughts make you more happy, the same is true for the negative thoughts.  So I chose to push those away.  I choose to write instead of talk.  I chose to continue working on a better me.  I chose to try to control my mood even if the moon does want to mess with me once a month :) or my clients decide today is a good day to bother the crap out of me (this is usually daily but some weeks it is quiet.. SOME)  not today.  Today is a day from HELL  not as bad as yesterdays hell, but definitely still in the layers of hell.  Not as deep, more like along the top edges, but still hell nonetheless!

Silly things like people not checking work, or reporting things that are not actual issues (some are but most are not or are user error).

I love this quote "Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so".. Douglas Adams

We should learn from mistakes.. even if they are not our own.  But most of us do not.  We would rather see how it turns out for us. LOL it usually turns out the same. Not so good.

So for the rest of today I will continue to try to chose the higher road.  Try to laugh off the stress and then I get to go play with my fun B girls.  Which always always brightens my day!

Remember, you are not alone (if you feel like I do)   Keep pushing through.   I am determined to get through this life with a smile on my face, even if it doesn't always stay there!

Day 8 - 2012

Hmmm ok so I didn't do a thought of the day yesterday or today.  Apparently people have decided to take my concept and apply it to themselves.  So lots of people are doing it. And let's face it. I like being original :)

Then I got a nasty little message on one of my thoughts that was my thought for the morning telling me to not be Paul Harvey come up with my own thoughts.. hmmmm well I am confused.. it was my own thought. I am sure I heard it somewhere at some point in time, but it was the thought that came to mind. I do not double check to see, I just write, as it makes me happy and well i like being happy.  So now I am discouraged and do not want to write any more. or at least post anything on facebook any more.  I actually may even deactivate my account.

My thought today is "haters will  hate no matter what"  People who are unhappy want others to be unhappy.  No one wants to be miserable alone.  What fun is that????  So ignore them, and move on. Do not let them drag you down.  Do not feed their misery by retaliating or arguing back. That will ignite the flames.

Don't worry be happy!  LOL  I keep singing that.. well that and " I feel pretty"