Post 15 - 2014 Just say no to devices.

I read this article today: http://renee-robinson.com/a-letter-to-my-boys-the-real-reason-i-say-no-to-electronics-repost/

It hit home, because my husband and I agree with the what it says. We have discussed numerous times that though it may be easier to hand over an electronic device, we do not want our child growing up addicted to one. We want him to understand sometimes you just have to wait. Sometimes you have to talk to others, even if you do not want too. We want him to understand the art of conversation. We want him to have skills that so many of his peers will be lacking. I want him to be a leader. To be a leader  you must understand, conversation; how to interact with people;  how to deal with different kinds of personalities and situations; to have manners; to work hard for things. So many kids expect these very very expensive devices that I will not even buy for myself.  You see adults and children at a dinner table with no conversation. Some of them are texting the other party or other people. It is rude. We are raising rude children and becoming rude adults. These devices are changing out society and not for the better. Instant gratification is taking over our society. I am guilty, I love my 2 days shipping on amazon. But i am also willing to wait those 2 days to get a cheaper price than drive to the store and get my item NOW.

We would rather live our lives through facebook, instragram, twitter (etc) than talk to someone face to face. If we see a "friend" in public, do we say hi, or try to dodge them so you don't have to talk?  It is funny because now after becoming a mom, I notice how much time even my husband and I spend on our phones. I make a conscious decision to put my phone down and spent uninterrupted time with my family.Facebook is not my life, my family is. So I put down my phone and spend time with them.  My husband is still working on this.  I want to be an example for him (both hubby and son). I do not want him to see me always on a device and think that is okay behavior. I want him to see me playing with him, talking to him and giving him my full attention. I want him to learn the art of a conversation, and not just texting. I want him to learn how to write a letter, not just text and email. I want him to be better than most of his peers and learn the lost art of things that are slowly going away, like how to change your own oil in your car, mow your own grass, clean a house. I want him to take classes in about being an electrician, plumber, mechanic, woodworking. I want him to know how it feels to work hard with his own hands to accomplish something, so one day he will appreciate that desk job even more. I want him to know there is a life outside and that tv, computer, playstation, ipad are all things that are wants but not necessities. I want him to pay for his friends gifts out of his allowance. I want him to learn at an early age the value of money and how to spend it and save it. I want more for him than the average kid. I want him to value conversation, hard work and people more than any thing I could buy him. If that makes me a bad mom, then a bad mom I will be. I hope that it will make him realize I am a good mom and love him enough to tell him no.

Wake up from your electronic induced comas and come out and play in the real world. You might be surprised at the fun you will have! i mean real life fun, not game, drama induced fun!. Just try it. Put the phone down and come play!

Post 14 - 2014 Traveling with an Infant

Traveling with an infant, is like no other traveling i have ever done. When driving, not a huge deal, you can bring toys, most everything you may or may not need, even a pack in play for them to sleep in (for you non co-sleeping parents). If you travel by plane, that is an entirely different story, as well if you are traveling alone with an infant. Especially if you are checking a car seat at the gate (I did that). Flying up not so bad, hubby helped me through to get the luggage checked, security was super nice and helpful. Flight back was more of a hassle, had to get from curb through checking with luggage, car seat and infant, then security line did not have a family line so that was a bear, it was just one thing after another.

Some people feel comfy borrowing or renting a car seat, if you are one of those people, your life will be easier. I am  not. I spent a lot of time before buying our car seat as well as had little bit try it out. He loves his car seat LOVES it. He hated his first seat and made sure you knew it every time he was in it. I had to pack all of the stuff we may need in one large case since i only have two hands. Luckily I am a baby wearer, so I had him in a sling which helped tremendously!  Most of my luggage were things for him. Some toys to keep him happy, clothes, lots of burp cloths and rags as he spits up still, though not as bad as he used too. Diapers gallore!  Which i could have bought up there but I didn't know when we would make it to a store and I packed what I needed with a little wiggle room.

Since we flew the baby and i co-slept (mine is 6 months old, so rolling on him and smothering him, very unlikely). He is a snuggly bunny, you know he is there, and I do not roll around in my sleep. I will say the co-sleeping was my fave part, even though my sleep was reduced, as I slept lighter than normal. It was nice to wake up to his smiles in the morning.

I fared well, I came back with 2 unused outfits, all the rest we went through for him, and only 2 pieces of clothing for me that was not used, and that was only because I bought more while up there. We flew out with luggage, car seat, two carry ons.  We can back with luggage, car seat one carry on :D  I think that scores as a win!.

I was exhausted from making sure the baby was okay, not getting into things, not screaming much, making sure I could get him to sleep either for nap or night time. I was always on. I will say I missed my hubby terribly and since we have been back he has been so much more helpful. I think he missed us too!. I also learned i do not want to be a single parent. Props to those who are! You guys ROCK!

So my advice,
pack what you need now, buy what you can at your destination
Make sure diapers, wipes, rag and a toy are in your carry on and that you can get to it easily.
You do not need a bag of toys, just pick 4 to 5 and take those.
You do not need 5 plus books, take one
Take your car seat ( i saw a bunch of people luggage checked theirs, i thought gate checking worked well, I put it covered on a luggage wheelie thing and had no issues)
Cover your car seat. i was so glad i did, it rained and my cover was wet wet wet!
use a sling to carry the baby instead of a stroller. It will save you a gate checked item and give you extra hands.
Co-sleep or borrow a pack in play
Try to impress on those visiting that the baby needs naps and not to be in a car seat for LONG periods of time. (easier said than done)
Make sure they know what bed time is.. and that it is firm!
Enjoy your one on one time if traveling alone, if not, be thankful for extra hands!

Have fun!

Post 13, 2014 A good mom

I get told often that I am a good mom. I like to think I am. I put a lot of thought and work into it. But in reality the lil' makes it super easy. He is my world. I do not mind getting up at night with him or listening to him cry, helping him through a grumpy phase or making him laugh. I do so love his laugh. I love how excited he gets and starts flapping his arms up and down. I love that he has found his feet and can reach for toys. He has started to wiggle to get to where he wants to go. I love love love watching him learn new things and test his boundaries. He is such a happy baby and just wants to see you smile. He knows if he smiles, you will smile. And he loves to smile at you. His smile melts every fiber of my being. The worst day is okay because of his smile.  I am calm, he is calm. He melts down and I smile. I know some days will be rough but right now, I am just enjoying him. If that makes me a good mom, then why yes, yes I am!

Post 12, 2014 Giggles

I will say my fave thing so far about being a mom is those sweet giggles my child gives me so freely. It used to be his smiles, which he gave me from almost the beginning, now it is those giggles. I love how when he sees me he smiles. It is like it is his way of telling me he loves me so. His smile melts me, and his giggles are so contagious. As I write this, I can feel my milk letting down, even though I just pumped. The thought of him affects me in ways I could have never imagined. This love that I have for this little being, is immeasurable. It is amazing how he makes me react. Even when we are running late, I have been pooed on, spit up on, almost tripped on the wet floor because someone grabbed my cup of water and threw it down, none of it matters, when he looks at me and smiles. Which is every time he sees me. His little arms wrap around my neck and his hands twist my hair, it hurts, I do not care. He smiles, and giggles when I say "ow" and I melt all over again. I hope these feelings never end. I want to cherish every moment of these early months and years. Before long I will be hearing "I hate you" "You hate me" and much more. For now I will take the sleepless nights and the rest of the obstacles for a smiles and giggles!

Post 11, 2014 lonely

Some days I feel alone in my marriage. We got married late in life and are very independent people but I have worked very hard to be one unit and my husband not so much.  I feel like I make one step forward to being one unit and he makes us go two steps back. Not sure what he is holding on to or afraid of. I feel like I'm talking to a wall. I feel like I'm doing all the work and I'm tired. I'm tired and lonely. I miss my partner. He would rather hang out with his phone than his wife  unless he's in the mood. And well he's hard to read and I'm tired of trying and being let down. We can't even plan a date and  we have a sitter. He's stubborn and doesn't want to compromise but if you   ask him he will say he does. Only children are selfish and cannot communicate.  I can't change someone and I'm tired of trying to make him see he's not alone anymore. But a thank you or making a plan would be nice.  I'm tired so tired and teary oh so teary. Hope he gets his head out of his phone soon. 

~a tired wife and mom who feels very under appreciated

Post 10-2014 Riot girl to Peace and love girl

I have this "Venting" book a co-worker gave me years ago. Today I opened it and wrote in it. I also looked back a few years and read some prior posts. I have not thought about this book in a really long time. Reading  my past entries made me realize how far I have come. Back in 2011, I was a very angry girl, not all the time but she was still there. Angry, bitter, not in control over her emotions. So my entries are quite comical and more like a "Riot punk girl" today entry was light airy and full of love like a "Peace and love girl"  I am glad I made that transition. Letting go of anger, bitterness and the past makes room for so much more!  I am a happy girl!  I never want to go back to being that Riot girl!

Live, Laugh, Love!

Post 9 - 2014 Give and Take

Lately I have done a little of giving and less taking. I have taken the higher road in arguments, have tried to be as unselfish as I can, tried to look at things from someone elses perspective, and tried not to get irritated if something doesn't go my way. Thinking this way has opened me up to a whole new world. I am less angry and irritated.  I no longer look at things as "Mine and theirs", or "That's not my job"  I think about the greater good and less about what i will get in return. I am happy. I do not mind being the one that cleans the house, cooks, and takes care of the baby. I do not mind if I have to work longer hours, or volunteer an extra shift. I do  not mind if someone is short a few bucks and needs a spot. I am living to make the world a better place. When I do this and keep this attitude, life is amazing, If I let negative thoughts slip in, then life is not so amazing. I like amazing!  I love helping others even if I do not get a thank you in return. I want to show my son what it means to be happy, and that only YOU can make you happy regardless of your circumstances.   My life could be a lot worse. I have it really good. Even the poorest in America have it better than 3rd world countries. We have access to food and medical treatments even if we do not have a home. We do not have to have MANY children in hopes one will make it and bring us out of poverty. Life is good, life is give and take. Try giving more and taking less. Try being happy with what you have. Let go of expectations and just be happy!