Post 11, 2014 lonely

Some days I feel alone in my marriage. We got married late in life and are very independent people but I have worked very hard to be one unit and my husband not so much.  I feel like I make one step forward to being one unit and he makes us go two steps back. Not sure what he is holding on to or afraid of. I feel like I'm talking to a wall. I feel like I'm doing all the work and I'm tired. I'm tired and lonely. I miss my partner. He would rather hang out with his phone than his wife  unless he's in the mood. And well he's hard to read and I'm tired of trying and being let down. We can't even plan a date and  we have a sitter. He's stubborn and doesn't want to compromise but if you   ask him he will say he does. Only children are selfish and cannot communicate.  I can't change someone and I'm tired of trying to make him see he's not alone anymore. But a thank you or making a plan would be nice.  I'm tired so tired and teary oh so teary. Hope he gets his head out of his phone soon. 

~a tired wife and mom who feels very under appreciated

Post 10-2014 Riot girl to Peace and love girl

I have this "Venting" book a co-worker gave me years ago. Today I opened it and wrote in it. I also looked back a few years and read some prior posts. I have not thought about this book in a really long time. Reading  my past entries made me realize how far I have come. Back in 2011, I was a very angry girl, not all the time but she was still there. Angry, bitter, not in control over her emotions. So my entries are quite comical and more like a "Riot punk girl" today entry was light airy and full of love like a "Peace and love girl"  I am glad I made that transition. Letting go of anger, bitterness and the past makes room for so much more!  I am a happy girl!  I never want to go back to being that Riot girl!

Live, Laugh, Love!

Post 9 - 2014 Give and Take

Lately I have done a little of giving and less taking. I have taken the higher road in arguments, have tried to be as unselfish as I can, tried to look at things from someone elses perspective, and tried not to get irritated if something doesn't go my way. Thinking this way has opened me up to a whole new world. I am less angry and irritated.  I no longer look at things as "Mine and theirs", or "That's not my job"  I think about the greater good and less about what i will get in return. I am happy. I do not mind being the one that cleans the house, cooks, and takes care of the baby. I do not mind if I have to work longer hours, or volunteer an extra shift. I do  not mind if someone is short a few bucks and needs a spot. I am living to make the world a better place. When I do this and keep this attitude, life is amazing, If I let negative thoughts slip in, then life is not so amazing. I like amazing!  I love helping others even if I do not get a thank you in return. I want to show my son what it means to be happy, and that only YOU can make you happy regardless of your circumstances.   My life could be a lot worse. I have it really good. Even the poorest in America have it better than 3rd world countries. We have access to food and medical treatments even if we do not have a home. We do not have to have MANY children in hopes one will make it and bring us out of poverty. Life is good, life is give and take. Try giving more and taking less. Try being happy with what you have. Let go of expectations and just be happy!

Post 8-2014 one year

We made it a year!  One year of marriage with lots of changes, ups and downs and love lots of love.   No one died or moved out. We still like each other. We've definitely gotten stronger.  One year is in the books!

We celebrated with our babe and ate sushi.   B. Got me a half day at a spa and I got him chocolate and wwe DVDs. We both were happy!

Great day had by all.  Here's to the next year (got to take it one year at a time)