Last night I had a dream/nightmare that made me wake up and cuddle with my husband. I was dreaming I was single again. I left hanging out shopping with my mom to hanging out in a finished attic with my B girls. E and I were going to have a slumber party when all of a sudden I look down and see a ring on my finger and hear a voice I really never wanted to hear again. In my dream I pretend to be asleep so I do not have to acknowledge the most jealous person I have ever dated who in my dream I was engaged too (never in real life). I decided to face him and went to kiss him as a dutiful fiancée would do. He had a moustache which looked ridiculous and started yelling at me telling me I had cheated on him. Which I had not done but was a common acquasation when we dated. In my dream the B girls were his daughters which is not true in real life. As he and I argued in front of the girls he kept slamming me over and over again totally off based and stating things you should not in front of children (another theme in our relationship) I somehow stayed calm which I never manged in real life. I told him I cannot marry someone who doesn't trust me. He tells me he could smell another guy on the door to my room. And all I could think of was my husband who in my dream was only someone I had dated but couldn't get off my mind I give back the ring and ask him to Please leave so I can hang out with the girls as planned. He left and poor S was in tears crying that he had told her I would be her new mommy. I woke up in a panic and all I could think was my husband, how lucky I am to have someone who isn't jealous and trusts me as I trust him. Jealousy is a bad bad ugly trait. With this particular ex that was a main reason we broke up. He was so jealous. Jealous to the point that rational thought would leave his head. He would accuse me of flirting with his brother in front of him, would stalk me when I hung out with my friends. I felt more like a daughter on probation than a girlfriend. He even kicked down my door once because I didn't answer it quick enough. I'm lucky he never hit me but the thought did cross my mind more than once that I was not safe. Even my friends were worried.
My next relationship towards the end I was the one that didn't trust him but because I caught him in one lie after another. Silly lies that a teen tells their parent. That's when I knew that relationship was not one I needed to be in.
Trust is so vital to make a relationship work. Without it there's doubt and room for jealousy. I'm so thankful that I have an amazing man as my husband who loves me for me and who trusts me to live my life and be true to him and vice versa. This is especially important since he works late nights, had female friends and I have tons of meetings and male friends. We love each other and communicate with each other. No lies just truth and trust. I'm a better person and wife because of him. I hope he can say he's a better man and husband because of me!
What i do know is that I woke up and could not get close enough to him. I held him the he held me. I wish I could have stayed curled up with him all day long. I'll just have to remember my goodbye kiss until he gets back home to us!
Trust is important. Never settle for less!
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