Do Not be Negative or a Complainer: Negative people or people who complain constantly are never fun to be around. No one wants to hear others problems (that is why therapists are paid). If someone asks how you are doing, smile and say fabulous. Complaining about your day/job/life only makes things fester and makes you more miserable. Plus no one needs to know EVERYTHING about your life. Learn to control your thoughts and mouth. Choose to be happy and to think positive happy thoughts. Work may suck but you have a job while others may not. Think of those positives and your life will be much happier and my fulfilled.
Speak Up for Yourself: It is important to learn when to stand up for yourself. If you get passed over for a promotion or you get the wrong order, ask why you got passed over so you can learn, say something so you get what you actually paid for. If you never say anything, nothing will ever change, and those negative things will build up and you will BLOW. Remember that you’re a strong, beautiful and independent woman, and speaking up for yourself is important in leading the life you desire.
Take a Compliment: Part of confidence is knowing how to take a compliment. When someone tells you you’re beautiful, accept it and say thank you (and maybe even blush a little). Accepting a compliment unveils your confidence and comfort in your own skin, which is an attractive quality for a woman… That kind of self-assuredness can do anything from land you the perfect job to the man of your dreams.
You Don’t Always Have to be Right: This one is hard. I am stubborn and that stubborness got me in a lot of trouble. Learn to set your stubbornness aside. It takes a lot of biting your tongue to learn this lesson, but you don’t always have to be right. You will come across situations where it’s incredibly hard to do, particularly when you know you’re right. But sometimes it’s best to save your relationship with that person (especially if it’s in the work place) than to hold the upper hand. Your 20s are a time to learn when it’s okay to stand up for yourself, but also understand the moments when you just need to back away.
Learn How to Manage Your Budget: Track your money and if you have not already started, start saving.
Track your monthly income and all your ancillary(rent, utilities fun money) costs can help you better understand what you’re spending so you know what you’re able to save. Get an app to help you (check out Mint.com). Start your 401K if a company you work for offers one, start putting in money even if it is 1% a little goes a long way if you start early. A savings will help you when your car breaks down or when you go to buy a house! Stay away from credit cards unless you can PAY THEM OFF FULLY EVERY MONTH. Credit card debt sucks and the interest rate will kill you. Pay for things in cash at all times if you can. Only use a credit card to build credit by paying it off every month fully!
Interview Like a Boss: This is one thing i have always been good at doing. Interviewing well is so important. It gets your foot in the door and sometimes into a position that you may not be exactly qualified for. Your 20s are a prime time to start your career and interviewing well is a key component to that process. Even if you don’t land a job right away, if you are a good interviewer it can make a big impact since companies will often remember you months (or even years) ahead when another position arises. Interviews are also important for networking purposes and building relationships across the business world. The bottom line? Take advantage of every interview now as it made lead to opportunities in the future! Walk in like you already have the job. Ask tons of questions about the company and position. And ALWAYS write a thank you note as soon as you walk out the door!
Keep Your Skin Young: While your skin might look great right now (this is what we call your “post-acne and pre-wrinkles era”), To keep wrinkles and damaged skin at bay, it’s important to always wear sunscreen and MOISTURIZE ! ALWAYS wash your face every night. Going to bed with your makeup on not only clogs pores; it dulls your complexion and can cause dryness or wrinkles. No thank you!
Cherish Your True Friendships: These years are usually filled with a lot of dating, a lot of love, a lot of broken hearts. It’s important to realize that guys will come and go, but a solid group of girlfriends will be there to help you through it all—forever, even after you fine 'the one" Your girlfriends will be there to make you laugh or bring you soup when you are sick. . Don’t forego important friendships in lieu of a relationship… Create balance. Good friends are hard to find, and losing a bestie is harder than losing a guy. I love the relationships I have had for 20 plus years. They know you, they love you even though they have seen you at your worst. Never ever think you are a "guys girls" guys only want to be friends to date you, no matter what they say. Find a group of girls that you are like and grow with them.
Choose Your Friends Wisely: Friends will come and go. When you find a true friend, hold on tight and cultivate that friendship. remember birthdays, send thank you notes make sure they know you love them. If you have someone toxic in your life that only brings you down, cut them loose. They are not worth your time.
Be Your Own Person: Be a chief not an Indian. Do not follow the crowd, as the crowd could get you in trouble. Be your own person. Know you, and your likes/dislikes What is wrong/right. Do not let others pressure you into anything. Being your own person is a little scary but at the end of the day, it feels really really good, knowing you made the right decisions for the right reasons.
Trust Your Instincts: Always trust your intuition. If it feels wrong, it is. Do not let others pressure you into anything. (see Speak Up for Yourself).
Dress Nicely: Wearing PJ's to the grocery store is not as cool as you think. Your 20s are a time to experiment and learn what works best for your body type. Does not matter what size you are, find out what kind of jeans are the right fit for your figure, what size dress is most appropriate for your shape, and embrace what you are working with… Accepting your shape will help you look and feel your best. You never know when your next boss will be around the corner.
Do Not Overextend Yourself: This goes from making too many plans to trying to live above your means. Every one needs alone time, do not feel bad telling someone you cannot attend their event or hang out (no excuse is needed, just 'I cannot' works fine). Everyone has secrets. They may seem to have it all together but could be up to their eyeballs in credit card debt. Do not try to keep up with others, just worry about you and what you can afford. If you cannot afford to go to that fancy restaurant, politely decline to go, go for appetizers only or ask to switch to a different place.
Do Not Get Drunk: I know getting drunk seems like lots of fun and when you are doing it you think you are having the time of your life. The next day all you remember is laughing and dancing and sometimes making out with that stranger. But it is NOT worth it. You feel crappy the next day and you put yourself in a lot of harm. You never know if that stranger will date rape you, or talk you into going further than you wanted. You may think you were the life of the party,. but really you made a complete ass out of yourself and just do not remember it. Though someone may have gotten pics or video. It is never fun to hear what you did and that it was not as fun as you thought. Super embarrassing and can RUIN your reputation. Drinking heavily is bad for your skin and your body (weight gain galore). So stick to a 2 drink maximum, your wallet, waste-line and reputation will thank you.
Do NOT Drink and Drive: This also goes with do not get in the car with someone who has been drinking. Always call someone sober to get you or take a cab, even if that person tells you they are okay. You do not want to be a vegetable because someone else made a mistake nor do you want to die. It is not worth it. They may get mad but that is okay. If you are designated driver, then do not have ANYTHING to drink at all. It is not worth the risk. If you are planning on drinking, have a DD, walk or cab it.
Don’t Lose the Child in You: I have to say, through all of these points, my #1 thing to remember is to never lose sight of yourself. You grow up a lot in your 20s, but you’re still young enough to have fun and bring out the little bit of kid that’s still left in you. You’ll have plenty of time to continue to grow up, settle down, have children, and worry about spending too much money. But your 20s are only a stepping-stone to that point. So go have a crazy night out with your girlfriends, get set up on a blind date, buy that expensive pair of shoes you can’t really afford, be weird and goofy, and go on adventure and travel! These are the memories you’ll cherish when you look back on these years. When you get older, bills take over, hangovers take days to recover from and work gets in the way.
Do Not Take No For an Answer: Always go for what you want. Never take no for an answer as an adult. There is always a solution to your problem; you just sometimes need to think “outside the box” to get one. Never doubt your instinct, it will not steer you wrong.
Car Payments Suck: Save up money and pay for a car with cash then keep it until it DIES.. car payments SUCK!
Love: Do not date for money or what could be or for the gorgeous guy, as those things may or may not happen or last. date for love, long lasting, make your heart beat fast, float on air love. The one that you find attractive even if others do not, will be the one that will never cheat on you and will love you with all of his heart.
Go to College: Excel in college and go for your masters and even doctorate.. the more education you have the further you will go. Never stop learning or looking for new experiences. Be well rounded. Participate in MANY activities and clubs it looks REALLY good on a resume.
Be Happy and Positive: Happiness is a choice. You can choose to be grumpy, stay mad at something or choose to be happy. Irritations always happen, but you can choose not to let them ruin your day/month/year/life. Make choices that will make you happy for a long time, rather than just focusing on the next two seconds. Instant gratification is nice, but the big picture is even better! Happy people are way more fun to be around and you make a lot more friends that way too. Keep a positive outlook on life, and enjoy the downhill swings of life as much as the uphill, for without the bad, you cannot appreciate the good. Love fully, and often. Be happy with YOU and ALL else will fall into place! Have fun, enjoy life. You only have one go at it.
Be Selfless: Be nice to others. Treat others the way you want to be treated. Do not lie to people, cheat on a partner or test. Do not steal or cut corners. Always be the best version of you that you can be and NEVER stop working on you. You can always improve. Smile at strangers. Help others in need even if they do not ask. Sometimes the best time to help is when the other person doesn't ask. Be selfless instead of selfish. Being selfish may get your what you want in the short term but being selfless gets you much much more in the long term. Helping others and volunteering is good for the soul and the community. Selfless people make the best partners and friends. Find others who are selfless and never compromise on that. You never want to be around selfish, negative people. They are a drain and will pull you down.
Be Patient: This one I struggle with. Patience is learned slowly but learn it.
Be Happy and Positive: Happiness is a choice. You can choose to be grumpy, stay mad at something or choose to be happy. Irritations always happen, but you can choose not to let them ruin your day/month/year/life. Make choices that will make you happy for a long time, rather than just focusing on the next two seconds. Instant gratification is nice, but the big picture is even better! Happy people are way more fun to be around and you make a lot more friends that way too. Keep a positive outlook on life, and enjoy the downhill swings of life as much as the uphill, for without the bad, you cannot appreciate the good. Love fully, and often. Be happy with YOU and ALL else will fall into place! Loving yourself is the best gift you can give you. If you do not love you no one else can. Never look to anyone else to make you happy. Happiness comes from within!
Have fun, enjoy life. You only have one go at it.
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