Post 4-2014 trust

Last night I had a dream/nightmare that made me wake up and cuddle with my husband.  I was dreaming I was single again.  I left hanging out shopping with my mom to hanging out in a finished attic with my B girls.  E and I were going to have a slumber party when all of a sudden I look down and see a ring on my finger and hear a voice I really never wanted to hear again.  In my dream I pretend to be asleep so I do not have to acknowledge the most jealous person I have ever dated who in my dream I was engaged too (never in real life). I decided to face him and went to kiss him as a dutiful fiancée would do.  He had a moustache which looked ridiculous and started yelling at me telling me I had cheated on him.  Which I had not done but was a common acquasation when we dated.  In my dream the B girls were his daughters which is not true in real life.  As he and I argued in front of the girls he kept slamming me over and over again totally off based and stating things you should not in front of children (another theme in our relationship) I somehow stayed calm which I never manged in real life. I told him  I cannot marry someone who doesn't trust me.  He tells me he could smell another guy on the door to my room. And all I could think of was my husband who in my dream was only someone I had dated but couldn't get off my mind  I give back the ring  and ask him to Please leave so I can hang out with the girls as planned. He left and poor S was in tears crying that he had told her I would be her new mommy.  I woke up in a panic and all I could think was my husband, how lucky I am to have someone who isn't jealous and trusts me as I trust him.  Jealousy is a bad bad ugly trait.  With this particular ex that was a main reason we broke up. He was so jealous. Jealous to the point that rational thought would leave his head.  He would accuse me of flirting with his brother in front of him, would stalk me when I hung out with my friends. I felt more like a daughter on probation than a girlfriend. He even kicked down my door once because I didn't answer it quick enough. I'm lucky he never hit me but the thought did cross my mind more than once that I was not safe.  Even my friends were worried.  

My next relationship towards the end I was the one that didn't trust him but because I caught him in one lie after another. Silly lies that a teen tells their parent.  That's when I knew that relationship was not one I needed to be in.  

Trust is so vital to make a relationship work. Without it there's doubt and room for jealousy.  I'm so thankful that I have an amazing man as my husband who loves me for me and who trusts me to live my life and be true to him and vice versa.  This is especially important since he works late nights, had female friends and I have tons of meetings and male friends.   We love each other and communicate with each other.  No lies just truth and trust.   I'm a better person and wife because of him.  I hope he can say he's a better man and husband because of me!  

What i do know is that I woke up and could not get close enough to him.  I held him the he held me. I wish I could have stayed curled up with him all day long.   I'll just have to remember my goodbye kiss until he gets back home to us!   

Trust is important. Never settle for less!

Post 3- 2014 breast feeding

I'm lucky to be able to breastfeed my baby. It's one of the best experiences of my life. The closeness I feel with my child is unlike anything I have ever experienced.  His sweet eyes looking up at me, a smile on his face as he takes my nipple into his mouth.  He begins to suck and my breast tingles as the milk lets down, runs through my nipple into his mouth. His mouth fills with milk, I watch him swallow.  I get lightheaded and feel a little high.  No matter how cranky he's been that day or the past hour, it's all better the moment he starts sucking.  It's as euphoric as an orgasm. My love for him grows deeper and deeper with every suck.  

I'm really going to miss these days. The days where my body produces "liquid gold" that nurtures his body with vitamins, nutrition, anitbodies and more.  So much goodness created by me for him.  The female body amazes me!  Breast feeding creates this amazing bond between mother and child.  I will cherish every feeding I have with him!  Even when he's mad at the boobie and yells at it (true story). The time I have with him while he's this little is short but I am cherishing every second with him!

Post 1-2014

I've been a huge slacker but for good reason. I have been spending time with this little boy who has totally stolen my heart. Who knew I could love something this much. I've loved and cared for him for almost a year. Yet only met him 2 months ago.  He brings me so much joy. His smiles, cries, eyes lighting up and snuggles oh sweet baby snuggles.  He's happy when he's naked. Oh so happy!  He loves to snuggle and loves to breast feed.  He's the best thing that's ever happened to me.  I honestly cannot remember my life before him. Nor do I want too.  He's quite the catch and he's my son!  I'm a lucky girl!  I should also probably go sleep since i finally was able to break myself from cuddling with him to let him sleep In his crib.  That was hard very very hard!

Post 108-2013

Wow what a crazy and amazing year! 

I get married, my Cat Of 13 years Chance dies, next day we find out we are pregnant, a Roscoe our lab runs away. we have a sweet baby boy, George our husky passes away. A very busy year with lots of changes.  

2013 was filled with happy and sad moments but moments I will never forget nor would change.  I'm very thankful for all in my life and cannot wait until 2014 arrives though I'll be fast asleep as it comes in. 

Happy 2014!

Post 2, 2014 - What new moms need

I have recently become a new mom.  I have found there are some things we need and some we do not.  As much as we love our friends and family, all they do for us, I found that there were something's I did not need and some I did.  For me the first few weeks I was tired but was managing. Then I figured things out and it was great. Then I had to move little bit to his own room and crib. That's when the exhaustion set in.  Here's some things is have learned over the last two months!

-The first week (two) of the babies life I needed grab and go food.  Heathly grab and go, instead of the cookies and brownies that I ate to get something in me while holding a sleeping baby. 

-I only needed food brought to me the 2nd and 3rd weeks and really could have managed without.  Though some of my friends are really good cooks and we appreciated all of the food!

-when bringing food, bring in portions. Especially casseroles that way the new parents can eat the meal once and not over and over or feel bad that They had to throw some away. The best delivery was one that had enough for two for multiple nights in separate pans. So we could eat one and freeze the rest!  

-gift cards ROCK!  We used those when we wanted to get out of the house which was often.  Little bit was small enough that he just slept in the wrap while we are and it helped me to not go stir crAzy!

- a waking buddy!  I started walking immediately so anyone who came over and wanted to go with was a goddess, that way I could walk further without worrying about if something happened to me. 

- no over night guests (unless you have room) we do not. So as much as it was sweet for people offer, we just didn't have room for over night guests 

- don't over stay your welcome.  I had multiple visitors who would come at the last minute or not call before they came at times when I was about to work out, nap, shower, go to bed, whatever. Then would stay so long I never got to what I was doing.  As much as I loved seeing them. Sometimes I wish they would have called or cut the visit shorter.  I almost fell asleep on some of them :-(

- do not do the meal train for a long period of time and not every day (or weekends) once we got into a groove as sweet as it was, it became a burden.  We loved how thoughtful everyone was but after a while or sometimes on the weekend it just interrupted family time.  Make sure you work with the person setting it up to make a schedule that works best for your family!

-I loved offers to watch the little for an hour here or there.  That way I was able to run out get a haircut, eyebrow wax, go to the store alone etc.  

- take the full 3 months of FMLA if you can afford it.  It helps you get the baby into a routine before you go back to work! Plus morning cuddles are the best!! 

- excersicse! Walk as soon as you feel up to it!  I started walking the 2nd week and started walk/running once my walk was easy.  About 5 weeks I started back on my normal work out routine. When I went in for my 6 week check I was ahead of the average on everything. My dr was impressed!

- start tummy time early even if it's on your chest!  And please for the love of Pete do not let your child stay in a car seat all of the time. Invest in a wrap!  Otherwise your child will have a flat head! 

- talk and play with your child when they are awake!  Mine did everything with me from playing on his play mat while I was working out to hanging out in the wrap or his bouncy seat for cooking.  And I constantly talked to him, listened to French and Spanish CDs/channels and  more.  He started cooing early. Hoping it helps with talking too!

- find a babysitter early and try them out for a few hours at a time before day care begins.

-love your baby and tell them too!  Nothing is more sweet than seeing a happy baby!  I video mine daily! His sweet coos and now blowing rasberries makes my hearts smile!

- listen to your motherly instinct!  It won't steer you wrong.  Drown out everyone else's advice (unless you need it). And relax. Your baby can pick up on your anxiety. If you want a chill baby. Be chill. 

- be careful of internet/book advice. There are 100 different ways you can do everything from when to take the baby to the dr to how to get them go sleep.  See the above and listen to your instinct. You know your child best (at least you should) 

Have  fun!  It's your child. You get to help mold who they become!  So be the person you want them to be. Teach them, talk to them. Don't shelter them (even though it's easier to do). Let them meet people take them to restaurants, teach them to be social. Play with them, love them, spend time with them. It's up to you!   You are the parent!  

Good luck and enjoy!  

Post 107-2013 truths about pregnancy

This article is funny but completely accurate:

http://skepchick.org/2010/02/what-pregnant-women-wont-tell-you-ever/

Post 106-2013 baby snuggles

Baby snuggles are the best!  My little one curls up tight his chest against mine. He's starting to wrap his arms around me.  I love listening to him breathe and the little sounds he makes while he sleeps. He's such a sweet baby.  When he starts to stir he nestles my neck. I swear I'm going to get a hickey one of these days. My husband says it's okay at least I'm married.  I could lay here with this little guy forever.

Definitely cherishing these moments!