Negative
1.
a. Expressing, containing, or consisting of a negation, refusal, or denial:
b. Indicating opposition or resistance:
2. Lacking positive or constructive features, especially:
a. Unpleasant; disagreeable:
b. Gloomy; pessimistic:
c. Unfavorable or detrimental: a negative review;
d. Hostile or disparaging; malicious
People with these qualities rarely realize they have these qualities. Sometimes they get a glimpse at the negative things in their life, some of them can even change their outlook, but most, just wallow in their negative thoughts, they vent about things over and over again, which only makes them re-live the negative moment, they talk about people (not in a good way), they just are not fun to be around. We all know someone like this, we ourselves may even by like this or were like this (me....I was totally a negative person at one point in my life). We do not have to stay that way. With some hard work, it is really rather easy to step out of that negative personality, and lift yourself up to a positive one. If I can do it anyone can!
Yes some days are harder than others, every day you have to work at it. I have realized, that being positive is so much easier than being negative. Though it is super easy to fall into a negative trap. You know when you are having a casual conversation and someone starts talking about someone else, and not in a good way. The conversation could be entirely true, but still you are talking about someone and talking about someone usually ends in a negative light. It doesn't speak well of you for gossiping about others and doesn't help that person who needs love and support to help them be a better person.
One thing I have learned, which is hard for someone who has an empathetic personality like I do,
is to not take the negativity personally. I know this is hard, it is easy to get wrapped up in the negativity of others, it is easy to feel like it is directly effecting you. Remember most negative people act that way to EVERYONE and only they can pull themselves out of it. All you can do is be there and shine positive outlooks on their negative outlook. Sometimes, you can break through to them like a sun on a rainy day.
Focus on solutions! I like to offer a solution to those who complain constantly about the same thing. or try to spin things around to the positive light. This took a lot for me to speak up to those who constantly complained about everything, but it makes me smile, and makes me feel like I helped just a tiny bit show them another way of looking at things.
My motto is do not complain unless you can come up with a solution to fix your complaint. Even at work, I do not complain to my boss, unless I have a solution I can offer to fix the issue. I think this was one of the last things I had to learn. It was hard, as complaining is easy to do!
Practicing acts of kindness, always pulls me out of a negative mood. It never fails, I can be feeling grumpy and I do something as simple as smiling at someone else or opening a door for someone, and their smile or gratitude back immediately pulls me out of my mood. Try doing something for someone else with no expectation of anything in return, it will make you feel like you won the lotto!
Focus on today, not the huge to do list you may have. Break things down into what you can do today. Sometimes life gets overwhelming and just focusing on the day at hand can shed new light onto things and keep negativity at bay.
Life is a roller coaster ride. Life has its ups and downs, realize that! Life is not always going to be filled with sunshine and rainbows. I like to think that the downs, make me appreciate the ups so much more. I do not mind the down times, I can always find a way to laugh through the pain, and look forward to the up times. So your spouse broke up with you or you lost your job, well maybe they were not the right person to begin with or it was not the right job for you. Someone better and an amazing job are out there waiting on you, so focus on being the best version of you, and good things will come. Enjoy that ride, as we only get one!
Change the way you think! If I have a negative thought come up or out of my mouth, I immediately put a positive one with it. I know that sounds crazy, but it helps me realize that what I just thought or said was negative, and makes me look at the thing or person in a better light, which only helps me. So if I think, "her voice is so annoying", I immediately think of something nice, like "but she is really pretty". Silly yes, but it makes me accountable for my thoughts, and has helped me live a more positive life.
Surround yourself with positive people. This is really a no-brainer. If you hang out with losers, you become a loser. If you hang out with negative people you become negative. If you hang out with people who challenge you to be a better person, you become that better person. If you hang out with positive people, you cannot help but become a positive person. Plus positive people are so much better to be around, they are healthier, they have great conversations, they laugh a lot and they lift you up! It was hard for me to slowly cut out people who had been in my life for a long time, but were just bringing me down. I tried helping them be more positive; I tried being a positive example; I tried spinning things so they could see that things could be better than the way they saw them. Sadly, some of them just wanted to wallow in their own negativity, and did not even realize i was no longer in their lives, as they found others who would listen to their complaints and commiserate with them. Cut the ties and let them go, it is sad yes, but sometimes that is exactly what you need to do to save yourself. I know I felt as if a weight had been lifted.
Be the person you want as a friend. If you want to be around positive people, then be one yourself. Be the person you want to hang around, if you do not like you, then why would others? Be the example not the problem!
Let go! This one is hard for people, they want to dwell on things, re-live them over and over again, which only keep the negativity in your life. Let it go. Just like a bad day at the office, let it go. I do not think bringing up a past event after it has been put to rest does any good for anyone. I try to forgive, forget, and let go as soon as I have spoken my mind. If I relive that moment or that bad day at the office, then it is like it is happening all over again, which puts me in a bad mood, when that moment is over. Try to let it go after the moment happens, and do not bring it up again. It may take some time to do this, but eventually it will be habit and you will be a much happier positive person.
Laugh! Laughter is the best medicine to a bad day, or an ugly argument, really it is good for almost anything. A good belly laugh will make you forget your trouble and will release good endorphins that will make you smile. Positive people laugh a lot. So try not to take life too seriously and laugh when you can! Your life will be better for it.
Whether you are negative or you are just around negative people, try using some of the above to overcome it! Your life will more enriched and much more full, with positivity surrounding you! Don't be a negative Nelly and do not let a negative Nelly effect you! Shine through the negativity and show others your positive light!
