Post 2, 2013 Frustration

Frustration is the name of today. I keep trying to smile and look at positives, but am frustrated at every turn.  Tons of obstacles, road blocks, decisions, and hormones. I realize most of my frustration is due to Aunt Flo about to visit, but it does not help when others purposely try to piss me off.  I feel sad, frustrated and alone all at a time that I should be happy.  A lot has happened over the past few weeks and I know that all of it has nothing to do with me.  But it is starting to bleed through to me.  Peoples selfishness seeps out when they least expect it too. I get chastised because i am a planner and a little OCD.  I cannot help that, it is who I am. I would rather have it done a month ahead of time then worry about it at the last minute. Makes me question underlying reasons.   Doesn't help that I am in full on let's get healthy mode.  My poor body is doing without things it really wants but does not need.

So I am going to work on, not nagging, picking my battles, letting go more, and smiling a ton!

Good luck to me!

Post 1 2013. Happy new year!

Happy New Year friends!  I am excited for 2013.
This year I will become Mrs Robert Gray.  Super exciting!
I will continue working on the house and myself.
I will try to let others do more for me (this one is hard)  I love giving.  I am not good at receiving. Even through this wedding, people want to through me showers and get togethers and it is hard for me to accept.  I know they just want to celebrate me, but for me, I do not get it.  it is my choice to get married.  I do not feel it is a cause for me to be celebrated. I feel like it is a celebration of our love and that is saved for the wedding day. Showers are for young kids who need help getting started with life.  We have that. We have too much stuff.  Will it be nice getting nicer things, yes of course.  But do I need a night with me as the center of attention??? Nooooooo.  Maybe a spa day would be nice.  That sounds nice. No talking, just a nice relaxing massage. ahhhhhhhhh
This year I may lose my beloved Georgie.  He has been a great day (most days) and has such a fun personality, but is getting older as I type.   I am hoping for another few years with him but the reality is, I have two old animals (George and Chance) so the inevitable may happen and that will make me sad.
This year I will work on paying it forward more.
I will work on being a better person over all.
I will work on loving more.
I will participate in lots of runs
I will laugh a lot and enjoy my friends
I will have fun!

What will you do?

Happy New Year!!

Day 226- 2012 Last day

Today is the last day of 2012. I may not have blogged every day but I can close. It's been a fun year. A crazy unpredicted year. I am engaged to the love of my life. He can along when I least expected it. Next year will bring a wedding and hopefully a lot more!

It's time to put the past to rest and look forward to the future!


Thanks for reading and happy new year!!!

May 2013 be your best yet!

day 225 - 2012 Nurse J

Last night and today I have been playing Nurse to my lovely in so much pain fiance.  I feel horrible for him.  He is such a hard worker and cannot stand to call in sick or go to the hospital. The last time for both was in 2003.  But last night he did something to his back and could not walk, could barely crawl. It was not a pretty sight at all. Poor thing has had tears in his eyes for every turn, move, cough, or laugh that he has made. There is nothing I can do but help him dress, make him food and bring him meds oh and take him to and from the doctor.

Today is supposedly the last day on earth LOL, guess we will see, as of now Australia is still here, so hmmmmmmmmmm maybe it is CST we shall see.

Until then Nurse J at your service!

Day 224- 2012 Life is full of bruises

Just because you get bruised, does not mean that you are broken! 

Life is full of bruises. They happen.  You bump into things, people push you down, you fall down.  Life happens.

Do not feel the bruise breaks you. You are not broken, just a little banged up and can totally recover from that.  Put on some adult panties and move forward. Do not let a few bruises stop you from trying to be the best version of you!

Day 223 - 2012 Life is a journey

A good cry is sometimes essential, but a smile is an every day must! There are always stressful times when you just want to cry.  Do it!  let yourself, then smile because there are amazing things awaiting you. 

Do not be afraid to find the humor in mistakes and embarrassing moments.  I am the first who will laugh at myself when I trip, run into a wall or just totally mess up a sentence.  Laughing is good.  You really should never take life too seriously. 

Live in the moment and appreciate the journey.  Like is totally a journey, ups, downs, sideways turns.  Do not worry about what may come and focus on today.  Focus on what you can get done and how to overcome today's issues.  You can think about the future, but do not fret about it, as many things can change before then.  Your life could take a turn and that thing you worried about is taken out of the equation.  Enjoy today and smile!

Day 222 - 2012 love yourself

To be happy you must know who are you are and love yourself. Need to know who you are? Be your own lover for life. Create a never-ending romance with yourself by caring and nurturing your mind, body and soul. You are who you think you are...live it, breathe it, own it.