Top 11 things I would tell my younger self

Video here: https://youtu.be/cLlbobAi9kM

Summary:

1. Be authentic 

2. Love yourself 

3. Weed out fake and toxic people 

4. Stand up for yourself 

5. Say no more and yes less 

6. You can do anything you set your mind too 

7. Face your fears head on 

8. Learn from your mistakes 

9. Always be kind 

10. Happiness comes from within 

11.  Find your people and love them hard!

Hi. I’m awkward

I’m messy, silly, awkward. I say random stupid things, I get tongue tied & alway bring up things like poop at the dinner table.  I’m literally a hotness. I don’t fit in with the put together moms. I’m the barely got myself dressed, the kids dressed themselves, I’m here right on time kind mom.  I’m the mom that makes inappropriate jokes because I’m awkward & my inner voice makes my anxiety kick in & i am  awkward. It’s a fact. I can’t change this. Honestly, I don’t want too.  It’s me. It’s why my husband loves me. It’s those moments where I am completely vulnerable or when I just make him laugh at my bluntness. I like making people laugh and I love laughing so thankfully my awkwardness is also a strength.  My trying to fit in was my weakness. It was a sign of low self esteem. It was a call for help. A cry for help I didn’t even realize I needed. I needed to feel loved and accepted for me. Not for quiet me. Not for sit there and mind your manners like a good southern girl me.  No. I didn’t love me because I never felt like I was good enough.  Even as an adult I still have those moments.  Something triggers me into a preteen me and goodness she’s a hot hot mess. Some habits are hard to break.  I’m thankful she breaks through less and less. I’m sad I didn’t figure this out 30 years ago. I wish I had loved myself back then. My life would have taken very different directions had I loved me.  But I wouldn’t have this life that I so love.  I wouldn’t have two sweet yet some days extremely frustrating boys. I wouldn’t have their love & hugs & kisses.  I wouldn’t have a husband who loves me even when I am a hot mess!  I’m glad I can realize why I’m triggered and find healing. I’m glad I love me & that’s not changing!  I am an amazing, smart, kind, sweet, happy, girl and no one can tell me differently.  This girl is going to help raise the next generation of men to have feelings & be empathetic. To be kind no matter what and to always help others.  I have no idea where this life will lead me but I do know. With my boys by my side I can do anything. I am loved  and I am important. I can make a difference. And most importantly I am happy!  It’s a good feeling.  Life is good! 

Ps sorry about not posting much but I am vlogging and posting on 

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And 

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Thanks y’all! 

Namaste 

Zen Mama Llama 

Looking inside

Looking inside is rough. To look deeply at something and see the hurts. Know there is hurt but not want to see the root cause. I think our minds progressive t us in ways we don’t know. Is it smart to delve into the parts of your mind that are hidden from yourself? Is it smart or really stupid do investigate the parts that hide for a reason? What if our minds know exactly how much our body, including itself (the brain), can take pain wise.   It’s a conundrum for sure. 

Thoughts?

You control your attitude

https://youtu.be/2VUcj62MbBs

Kindness Matters

Kindness Matters Vlog: https://youtu.be/vcCo9Bqh9Os

Be a decent human

Be kind.  

Be a decent human.  

Treat others how you want to be treated.  

Things that come out of my mouth daily.  Sadly it’s not always my kids I am saying this too. No I have to say it to grown adults who apparently missed manners classes.  Now don’t get me wrong. I do say them to my kids. It cracks up my husband when I say, “be a decent human” to our 3 & 5 year olds. But I feel these lessons need to start early in life. 

Both my lovies, are sweet, kind, generous, and empathetic.  It makes my heart happy to watch them helping others or each other.  But they have a mean streak too.  So sometimes I have to remind them of manners.  It’s my job to teach them and sometimes remind them of their manners and to be a decent human.   

In a world where technology seems to be overtaking every aspect of life. We as a society have grown less empathetic, less patient, less hands on.  We used to learn from our parents how to grow food, make and repair things. We didn’t hire someone to build a fence, we did it.  We didn’t hire someone to fix the car, my daddy did it.  Then we stop teaching basic life skills. We stopped being honest and started being politically correct.  We stopped getting to know our neighbors in person and opt to stalk them online.  We stopped being kind to others. We stopped being patient. We stopped treating others regardless of their job or where they live  the same way we wanted to be treated. And a whole bunch of us just stopped being decent humans.  It’s easy to get caught up in what others have or just wanting to be selfish. I get it.  But where technology and material things fill your life, you become devoid of empathy.  Empathy keeps us human.   Empathy makes us want to treat others kindly empathy helps us be decent humans who are patient and kind.  

I urge you to take a step back and be a decent human. Be kind to others. Leave sweet notes or pay for someone behind you in line. Smile and say hi.  Sometimes just being seen by a friendly face can make someone’s day   Please go out in the world and spread kindness!  

Love

Jamie 

Hysterectomy and Burch -**TMI warning

Some of you followed my cancer journey.  If you didn’t I survived stage 3 breast cancer. Recently I had an abnormal ultrasound of the uterus. So while the doctor was removing my uterus they also did a Burch procedure that helps with me peeing during coughing, laughin, sneezing, tooting... this was done by a robot and was minimally invasive.  Came through surgery well. But found peeing rather difficult.  So I went from peeing myself to not being able to pee. Ironic. Huh?  

So Friday night after surgery we headed back to the er portion of the hospital to get a catheter. After having it removed Monday and passing the drs pee test in which I felt like barely but he said well (he wanted 2 ccs I gave him 12). Still was dribbling. I was assured this was normal and to not strain when peeing 

Okay ladies do you know how hard that is? Especially if you need to poop? You strain a little without realizing if. Well I realized I was straining but my body was like it was in birthing mode. It was like “listen lady you have to poop like your life depends on it”. And while it was cleaning me out, I passed a blood clot in my urine. The damn thing must have been there all along. It just didn’t clog the catheter & couldn’t bypass it either but when there was no catheter but there was pee in my bladder It stopped up the flow. If I laid down I could pee (super convenient) sometimes I could go standing if I moved around. And always could go in the car.. my conclusion is I was able to move it at times to get relief but because of surgery I was to sore to push.  I didn’t have to poop then but when I did the clot came out.  I can pee again. It’s amazing.  Horay for peeing!  So I’m pushing lots of fluids just to keep peeing.

 I’ll never complain about peeing myself again. It’s way better than to not be able to pee at all!  That hurts! Worst form of torture.. and hopefully the only I will ever experience. So don’t tell me secrets as it won’t take much for me to spill them!  But yay for not ever having to worry about uterine cancer, cervical cancer, ovarian cancee, Fallopian tube cancer or to Aunt Flo visiting ever again!  Now that surgery totally worth it. I shouldn’t have doubled down and just stayed the course. 

May peace be with you 

Jamie